*Still Shaking My Head*
I reread what I posted on the 19th. I still don't get it.
How is it that someone can be using plain language and saying something very simple, and then someone else comes along and gets so wound up emotionally that they decide everything you're saying/writing is All About Their Pet Peeve and/or Them Personally?
I honestly considered just deleting my whole LJ after that mess. It screwed with me for hours, upset several of my close friends, and likely also sent the person freaking out on all of us into flare. This is the SECOND time in the past five months where someone using Fibromyalgia Syndrome as an excuse for their behaviour and emotional instability has resulted in that person attacking me and my LJ and claiming it's All About Them.
If I was WRITING about FMS, I might understand why this happens. But I have not. The first time I ever mention it in this LJ is when I kept trying to tell cornflakesgirl23 this wasn't about her OR her FMS in response to her making her comments into All About FMS, and then THIS post. Period.
You know, I've faced a lot of problems in my life, just like many of you have. I can honestly and safely say I have NEVER taken out my problems or my emotions on another person. In fact, the worse I feel, the better I try to treat people around me. Possibly some of that behaviour is part of the survival mindset I learnt by being an abused child with an irrational, fricking-crazy parent who used me as their personal beating boy. But I NEVER lash out at people. I have never had to go, "Oh, I'm sorry I took this out on you..." to ANYONE, because I never do it. Why is it so hard for others to do the same?
I WILL protect myself if you fuck with me. I WILL yell at you if you're so unreasonable that you can't be bothered to listen to common logic and my rational statements when I'm trying to diffuse your explosive crap. I will NOT edit my LJ just to please some STRANGER that seems to think they know what I'm writing about better than I do myself. I think I KNOW what I'm trying to say, here. I don't need Miss Over-Emotional to try to translate FOR me.
I used to say this a lot back when someone irrational would get on a listserv and take everyone to task for not making it All About Them. I'm going to repeat it here:
IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE WE'RE USING, then go away. This is English. Pay attention to the limitors, the nuances, and the various words that give you a clue of what is being said. "If" does not mean "Definitely" or "Every" or "All". "But" does not mean you are being argued with, it's a small diversion in direction of the main statement of the sentence. Words that specify "how much" of something is true or untrue are really meaningful and you need to pay attention to that. Statements that say "I think..." are opinions, not absolute truths. If someone tells you of their actual experience, you need to PRESUME THEY ACTUALLY HAD THAT EXPERIENCE. Treat people with respect and you will get respect back.
Be an arse and they'll kick you. And quite deservedly. Greyson will BAN you if you are.
In case it is not clear enough, the actual SUBJECT OF THIS LJ is...ME. NOT YOU.
I keep rereading what was written by me and several others to the person having her fit on the 19th and I'm just dumbfounded anyone could go so far, so 'out there' on what was written. Everyone remained reasonable with her until she started barking back to every comment that no one was to reply to her, as if she were the only one who had a right to speak. As if somehow WE were oppressing HER. Wasn't it HER continually commenting back that was oppressive?
I have only had to ban three irrational people from this LJ. I would like to think this will be the end of it, but now I'm wondering if more will be drawn here.
I know why it plagues me...I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was trying to help someone else, and suddenly all that crap breaks out. It so defies logic that my brain keeps niggling at it, hoping to find an answer to "Why?" There isn't one, but it niggles still.
I'm going to bed...hopefully tomorrow will bring happier thoughts.
Nechtan :)
How is it that someone can be using plain language and saying something very simple, and then someone else comes along and gets so wound up emotionally that they decide everything you're saying/writing is All About Their Pet Peeve and/or Them Personally?
I honestly considered just deleting my whole LJ after that mess. It screwed with me for hours, upset several of my close friends, and likely also sent the person freaking out on all of us into flare. This is the SECOND time in the past five months where someone using Fibromyalgia Syndrome as an excuse for their behaviour and emotional instability has resulted in that person attacking me and my LJ and claiming it's All About Them.
If I was WRITING about FMS, I might understand why this happens. But I have not. The first time I ever mention it in this LJ is when I kept trying to tell cornflakesgirl23 this wasn't about her OR her FMS in response to her making her comments into All About FMS, and then THIS post. Period.
You know, I've faced a lot of problems in my life, just like many of you have. I can honestly and safely say I have NEVER taken out my problems or my emotions on another person. In fact, the worse I feel, the better I try to treat people around me. Possibly some of that behaviour is part of the survival mindset I learnt by being an abused child with an irrational, fricking-crazy parent who used me as their personal beating boy. But I NEVER lash out at people. I have never had to go, "Oh, I'm sorry I took this out on you..." to ANYONE, because I never do it. Why is it so hard for others to do the same?
I WILL protect myself if you fuck with me. I WILL yell at you if you're so unreasonable that you can't be bothered to listen to common logic and my rational statements when I'm trying to diffuse your explosive crap. I will NOT edit my LJ just to please some STRANGER that seems to think they know what I'm writing about better than I do myself. I think I KNOW what I'm trying to say, here. I don't need Miss Over-Emotional to try to translate FOR me.
I used to say this a lot back when someone irrational would get on a listserv and take everyone to task for not making it All About Them. I'm going to repeat it here:
IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE WE'RE USING, then go away. This is English. Pay attention to the limitors, the nuances, and the various words that give you a clue of what is being said. "If" does not mean "Definitely" or "Every" or "All". "But" does not mean you are being argued with, it's a small diversion in direction of the main statement of the sentence. Words that specify "how much" of something is true or untrue are really meaningful and you need to pay attention to that. Statements that say "I think..." are opinions, not absolute truths. If someone tells you of their actual experience, you need to PRESUME THEY ACTUALLY HAD THAT EXPERIENCE. Treat people with respect and you will get respect back.
Be an arse and they'll kick you. And quite deservedly. Greyson will BAN you if you are.
In case it is not clear enough, the actual SUBJECT OF THIS LJ is...ME. NOT YOU.
I keep rereading what was written by me and several others to the person having her fit on the 19th and I'm just dumbfounded anyone could go so far, so 'out there' on what was written. Everyone remained reasonable with her until she started barking back to every comment that no one was to reply to her, as if she were the only one who had a right to speak. As if somehow WE were oppressing HER. Wasn't it HER continually commenting back that was oppressive?
I have only had to ban three irrational people from this LJ. I would like to think this will be the end of it, but now I'm wondering if more will be drawn here.
I know why it plagues me...I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was trying to help someone else, and suddenly all that crap breaks out. It so defies logic that my brain keeps niggling at it, hoping to find an answer to "Why?" There isn't one, but it niggles still.
I'm going to bed...hopefully tomorrow will bring happier thoughts.
Nechtan :)