Dear spammers,

What on earth made you think I wanted:

• a larger penis
• Viagra
• vitamins
• an adorable puppy

No, I do not believe for a second that I have:

• won the [insert name of country here] lottery (especially since I never entered in the first place)

We visited cricketlostlove Saturday and picked up Munchkin for next weekend. She was having a yard sale, and I noticed the cutest skirt, which I bought for fifty cents. Amazingly, it fits! Tracy and her mum have always been elegantly slender - much more so than I ever was - and it blows my mind that I'm the same size they are ( Read more... )

I saw this article whilst perusing KCRA.com. The headline reads, "Couple Charged with Tattooing Kids." The long and short of it is that a couple in Georgia was charged with child cruelty after tattooing their six children with a homemade device. The children in question range in age from ten to seventeen. The mom says the children wanted the ( Read more... )

Never, ever to try and shop at Wally-World two weeks before Christmas ( Read more... )

Happy Hallowe'en to one and all. To those who celebrate, I wish you a Blessed Samhain. All Soul's Day and El Día de los Meurtos isn't until tomorrow, but I wish you a blessed one of those, too ( Read more... )

( Medical mini-rant beneath the cut... The delicate may avert their eyes. )

...the thermostat reads 63, but it feels more like 93Good morning, all, and welcome to my chemically-induced menopause. It beats the tar out of having breast cancer, but there are times when it's a mite uncomfortable, to say the least ( Read more... )

I've discovered something on You Tube called "Fun with Shorts." It's not MST3K, but it's done in the style of the show, with a sarcastic running commentary on the short subjects.

( Check 'em out! )

(I wanted to use "Another Day in Paradise," but that's been used so often, it has wear marks.)

The socks are done. The socks are DONE. The socks are doneOh, and did I mention that the socks are done, done, done ( Read more... )

Dear Loud Twits (overheard in the aisle at Wally-World ( Read more... )