okay, i should be going to bed...
...but i promised you all a real update, and i've randomly decided to write it now. i guess the main question on everyone's minds is: what have i been doing for the near month since i last wrote a real post. the short answer is "laundry". really. do you know how much laundry three adults and a ten month old baby can generate? it's astonishing. other things i've been doing include cleaning up after everyone (but not actually cleaning; they pay someone for that), dishes, yard work, and baby wrangling. the really scary thing here is that i'm actually enjoying my role as...housesister? laundry is far more pleasing to do when you don't have to compete with the people in thirty-four other apartments for two washers that may or may not be working. and if i forget and don't transfer a load immediately, it's okay! as long as i don't leave the load so long that it starts to mildew (it is the Pacific northwest, after all), it's no problem. there's also no likelihood that my wet clothing will end up on the floor...except when i drop it during transfer. also, i think i'm in love with my sister's laundry machines. she has the pretty, front loading machines. all those options. all that capacity. and the load size sensor. i don't have to make sure i have an absolutely full load in order to not waste water. it's lovely. dishes too are much nicer to do when there's a dishwashing machine involved. load and go. weehee! okay, i wash the pots and pans, as well as the baby bottles, by hand, but that's no big. i admit i delay on the yard work somewhat, but it can be pretty nice to get out there and play in the dirt. mostly i've been pulling weeds...and there's lots of 'em! i've also planted some pansies and laid out some mulch. i still have much weeding and mulching to go, though. well, i guess that's to be expected with the weather here. *l*
i suppose the second question on everyone's minds is: how are my thesis revisions coming? okay, i will answer that this time, but don't expect that to be the rule. that question may, at times, only elicit a growl and some expletives. anyway, i've started some revisions, but i haven't done very much. heck, it was a triumph a couple of weeks ago just to pull out my laptop. last week, the major step was to finally write the time line that i told Grant i'd try to do before i moved. last weekend, i set up my desktop computer, and this week i've written a total of 400 words. yeah, my motivation level is really high here. can't you tell? the big problem is that although i know i need to do these revisions, i really don't want to do them. in fact, having to do them makes me angry, and not just because some guy failed my thesis. not just because i'm heartily sick of my research...that's normal. not just because i've seen what some people get PhDs for and, flawed though they are, my research and thesis are better than that...that one's pretty high on the list, though. no, what i really resent is having to spend even more time and energy on research that i was already disgusted with for being fairly useless in terms of teaching me useful skills for the kind of job i want. well, i also resent having to revise to the prejudices of someone who's comments highlighted entirely different problems with his thesis that he thought they did. also, it's hard to write to the opinions of someone who misquoted you when trying to support one of his comments about your work *. still, he's going to read the revised version and think, "oh look how much better my input made it." meanwhile, i'll be sitting there thinking, "yes, it's better, but the stuff done for you is all crap. it's the other things i've gotten to revise that actually make it better."
i am trying to remind myself of that. since i have to revise anyway, i get the chance to change the things that i'd already had that "oops, i should have said this" moment about before the guy failed my thesis. if i can remember any of them, that is. at least i remember the big one. the really major thing i knew i wanted to change was the focus of the thesis. because i spent so much time on it, the virtual ecosystem sort of became the main focus by default. the work with the case-based reasoner, which is really the interesting and novel part of the project, got short shrift both in the thesis and actual work time. i'd realized that i wanted to shift the focus to the case-based reasoner while i was working on my defense presentation and thinking about what i wanted to write for journal articles. i think i may not have had as much problem with the external examiner, if i'd written it that way in the first place. he got really hung up on the validity of results from the virtual ecosystem. of course, as i believe i've mentioned before, he was really hung up on how the results weren't "realistic" even though, when you think about it (well, if you're capable of thinking outside the box), my results are extremely realistic given certain situations. i guess i'm just going to have to point out what those situations are...and why they're important for future research.
okay, enough thesis talk. though i suppose that i should warn you that reminders that i "just need to buckle down and do the work" will most definitely be met with growls and expletives. but, bleh, that's all too depressing. there's a reason i have trouble falling asleep. i can keep from thinking the depressing thoughts all day, but while i'm trying to fall asleep they all creep out. the little bastards. but i said i was going to stop talking about it. so enough.
in other news, i am searching for a part time job. admittedly, my expenses are quite low right now, but i do have those ugly credit card bills (six years of semi-frequent travel do not do pretty things to your balances) and it would be nice to be able to afford to have a little fun once in a while without bumming off my sister. also, if i can't convince the student loan people that it's really dumb to have one of my accounts in repayment while the other three are still in grace, i'll have to pay that too. yeah, like i can afford nearly $400 a month. so, yeah, job. i'm looking for part time, to try and keep my thesis from being completely pushed aside (which, i hear, often happens to people in my situation). i was originally thinking that i would try and get something that would be at least somewhat related to my field, but then i decided that related to my field doesn't really have part time (okay, i could do part time office work in an environmental consulting firm). so far, i've applied to a couple of positions at Borders (on the inventory team, though i might apply for sales too) and a couple at Barnes and Noble. okay, i admit it, i really just want to work in a bookstore for a while. i mean, i really want to work in a bookstore for a while. as planetgal471 wrote recently, sometimes those of us in the sciences really want to do some work outside of the sciences for a little while. and we all know i really love books and bookstores. another opportunity that might materialize is that one of the trainers at the gym is looking into positions at Curves for me.
in other, other news, one of the first things i did after pulling out my laptop was to fiddle with my LJ. i changed my theme, which involved some minor trauma. some of my pretties like my "Now Reading" spot in the side bar and the rating stars on my 2008 Book List had to be re-programmed. the stars were hard, 'cuz i'd copied the CSS from somewhere else and didn't have the link on my laptop. found it again, though, so all was well. i'm considering changing the colors of the stars. make them match the rest of my journal. *l* speaking of the Book List, i have officially reached 50 New Reads this year....65 books over all. (hey, don't look at me like that. i've had a lot of time on my hands this year.) also, i renamed my journal and friends list in the big LJ re-model. my journal is now "Balanced on the Edge". i'm currently calling you guys my "support group", but i'm not really in love with it, so i'm open to suggestions that would go with the theme.
anyway, it's really quite late now, and i really should go to bed. Sister and i go the the gym at 5:30 in the AM. yes, me, at o' dark hundred. it's....interesting. at least, i'm actually kind of tired now and might crash and burn quite satisfyingly. please forgive me for this huge block of text, and if you're still reading...wow! thank you. : )
* he left out a critical word that completely changes the meaning of the sentence. he commented that me writing "The complexity of systems is not often analyzed.." shows that i don't know the ecological literature. the actual sentence however is "The comportmental complexity of systems is not often analyzed..." where comportment is the long term behavior** of the ecosystem in response to forcing functions (sunshine, rainfall, etc), making comportmental complexity the complexity of the behavior of the system over time. the complexity of ecosystems, in terms of the structure and composition, is measured all the freakin' time...which i'd mentioned in earlier paragraphs in the same chapter. comportmental complexity, however, hasn't been considered all that important (that's changing with long term environmental predictions and stuff), so there's not really all that much literature on it. of course, my research group kinda seems to be the only people who use the term "comportment" (but i'm stuck with it), so searching for literature on it can be difficult. but i tried all the different terms that i - and my thesaurus - could think up.
** behavior isn't really a good word, because ecosystems don't really have behavior. behavior is pretty much to active for a whole ecosystem. the full explanation of the word "comportment" requires a lot more explanation than i think you want to read. if you do want the full explanation, though, just ask.
i suppose the second question on everyone's minds is: how are my thesis revisions coming? okay, i will answer that this time, but don't expect that to be the rule. that question may, at times, only elicit a growl and some expletives. anyway, i've started some revisions, but i haven't done very much. heck, it was a triumph a couple of weeks ago just to pull out my laptop. last week, the major step was to finally write the time line that i told Grant i'd try to do before i moved. last weekend, i set up my desktop computer, and this week i've written a total of 400 words. yeah, my motivation level is really high here. can't you tell? the big problem is that although i know i need to do these revisions, i really don't want to do them. in fact, having to do them makes me angry, and not just because some guy failed my thesis. not just because i'm heartily sick of my research...that's normal. not just because i've seen what some people get PhDs for and, flawed though they are, my research and thesis are better than that...that one's pretty high on the list, though. no, what i really resent is having to spend even more time and energy on research that i was already disgusted with for being fairly useless in terms of teaching me useful skills for the kind of job i want. well, i also resent having to revise to the prejudices of someone who's comments highlighted entirely different problems with his thesis that he thought they did. also, it's hard to write to the opinions of someone who misquoted you when trying to support one of his comments about your work *. still, he's going to read the revised version and think, "oh look how much better my input made it." meanwhile, i'll be sitting there thinking, "yes, it's better, but the stuff done for you is all crap. it's the other things i've gotten to revise that actually make it better."
i am trying to remind myself of that. since i have to revise anyway, i get the chance to change the things that i'd already had that "oops, i should have said this" moment about before the guy failed my thesis. if i can remember any of them, that is. at least i remember the big one. the really major thing i knew i wanted to change was the focus of the thesis. because i spent so much time on it, the virtual ecosystem sort of became the main focus by default. the work with the case-based reasoner, which is really the interesting and novel part of the project, got short shrift both in the thesis and actual work time. i'd realized that i wanted to shift the focus to the case-based reasoner while i was working on my defense presentation and thinking about what i wanted to write for journal articles. i think i may not have had as much problem with the external examiner, if i'd written it that way in the first place. he got really hung up on the validity of results from the virtual ecosystem. of course, as i believe i've mentioned before, he was really hung up on how the results weren't "realistic" even though, when you think about it (well, if you're capable of thinking outside the box), my results are extremely realistic given certain situations. i guess i'm just going to have to point out what those situations are...and why they're important for future research.
okay, enough thesis talk. though i suppose that i should warn you that reminders that i "just need to buckle down and do the work" will most definitely be met with growls and expletives. but, bleh, that's all too depressing. there's a reason i have trouble falling asleep. i can keep from thinking the depressing thoughts all day, but while i'm trying to fall asleep they all creep out. the little bastards. but i said i was going to stop talking about it. so enough.
in other news, i am searching for a part time job. admittedly, my expenses are quite low right now, but i do have those ugly credit card bills (six years of semi-frequent travel do not do pretty things to your balances) and it would be nice to be able to afford to have a little fun once in a while without bumming off my sister. also, if i can't convince the student loan people that it's really dumb to have one of my accounts in repayment while the other three are still in grace, i'll have to pay that too. yeah, like i can afford nearly $400 a month. so, yeah, job. i'm looking for part time, to try and keep my thesis from being completely pushed aside (which, i hear, often happens to people in my situation). i was originally thinking that i would try and get something that would be at least somewhat related to my field, but then i decided that related to my field doesn't really have part time (okay, i could do part time office work in an environmental consulting firm). so far, i've applied to a couple of positions at Borders (on the inventory team, though i might apply for sales too) and a couple at Barnes and Noble. okay, i admit it, i really just want to work in a bookstore for a while. i mean, i really want to work in a bookstore for a while. as planetgal471 wrote recently, sometimes those of us in the sciences really want to do some work outside of the sciences for a little while. and we all know i really love books and bookstores. another opportunity that might materialize is that one of the trainers at the gym is looking into positions at Curves for me.
in other, other news, one of the first things i did after pulling out my laptop was to fiddle with my LJ. i changed my theme, which involved some minor trauma. some of my pretties like my "Now Reading" spot in the side bar and the rating stars on my 2008 Book List had to be re-programmed. the stars were hard, 'cuz i'd copied the CSS from somewhere else and didn't have the link on my laptop. found it again, though, so all was well. i'm considering changing the colors of the stars. make them match the rest of my journal. *l* speaking of the Book List, i have officially reached 50 New Reads this year....65 books over all. (hey, don't look at me like that. i've had a lot of time on my hands this year.) also, i renamed my journal and friends list in the big LJ re-model. my journal is now "Balanced on the Edge". i'm currently calling you guys my "support group", but i'm not really in love with it, so i'm open to suggestions that would go with the theme.
anyway, it's really quite late now, and i really should go to bed. Sister and i go the the gym at 5:30 in the AM. yes, me, at o' dark hundred. it's....interesting. at least, i'm actually kind of tired now and might crash and burn quite satisfyingly. please forgive me for this huge block of text, and if you're still reading...wow! thank you. : )
* he left out a critical word that completely changes the meaning of the sentence. he commented that me writing "The complexity of systems is not often analyzed.." shows that i don't know the ecological literature. the actual sentence however is "The comportmental complexity of systems is not often analyzed..." where comportment is the long term behavior** of the ecosystem in response to forcing functions (sunshine, rainfall, etc), making comportmental complexity the complexity of the behavior of the system over time. the complexity of ecosystems, in terms of the structure and composition, is measured all the freakin' time...which i'd mentioned in earlier paragraphs in the same chapter. comportmental complexity, however, hasn't been considered all that important (that's changing with long term environmental predictions and stuff), so there's not really all that much literature on it. of course, my research group kinda seems to be the only people who use the term "comportment" (but i'm stuck with it), so searching for literature on it can be difficult. but i tried all the different terms that i - and my thesaurus - could think up.
** behavior isn't really a good word, because ecosystems don't really have behavior. behavior is pretty much to active for a whole ecosystem. the full explanation of the word "comportment" requires a lot more explanation than i think you want to read. if you do want the full explanation, though, just ask.