I went to Nashville this weekend to hang out with my brothers and go see Olga Kern with the Nashville Symphony. She was AMAZING. Her talent. Just wow. There's a part in the 2nd movement of the concerto where the piano plays alone, softly, high on the keyboard. She was so delicate and nimble. The entire concert hall was holding its breath. (I have ( Read more... )

Want sleep.
Body hurts alot.
Lonely.
Chest feels like something's pressing on it.
Gonna fail at my doctor's appointment today.

My hands HURT. and my tummy and most of my body in general. but mostly my hands. And I'm tired and sick. and slightly dehydrated cause my stupid tummy is not behaving this week. And I'm a horrible friend because I never seem to have time/feel good enough to keep up with my friends anymore. I haven't talked to Seth or Blake in forever. Or Melissa. I ( Read more... )

Hate body. Hate alone. Hate drugs that make me sleepy and sad, but don't knock me out and don't make the pain go away.

Being held makes smiles and everything all better, even though nothing changes. ((((hugs)))) Thank you lots.

I hate being sick. I hate always having to bail out of things I've committed to doing. I hate being alone. I hate being worthless.

Argh. I hate it. On the rare occasions that I actually let myself cry, it always ends with running to the bathroom and throwing up, followed by being nauseated for the next few hours. It's just not fair.

I'm up sick again. And I'm really lonely tonight. Don't really know why. Just am.

I want my family so much

See the announcement in the previous post? The one about the success at obtaining product? Guess who promptly dropped the vial containing said product and watched her product disappear to the environment. Guess who stayed another 3 hours to run the lab again with the remaining intermediate (the one that reacts with the water in the air and has been ( Read more... )

It's been a really down weekend for me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I bailed on the camping trip this weekend. I was too tired and more than a little scared about not being able to handle it. I didn't want something to happen and then end up being a hassle for everybody. So I just didn't go. I held back and hid myself away. I'm really tired ( Read more... )