Image from tonight that will live with me forever: Rob Zombie carrying around one of those cheap dorky little plastic pumpkin heads you can buy at Walmart and tossing candy into the mosh pit.

Also, in real life Rob Zombie is pretty fucking hot. Why did nobody tell me this? Did I miss the memo or something?

Apparently, last night Stanking had a dream in which Bam Margera and Ryan Dunn came out as a couple to David Letterman while they were all on The Tonight Show. Admittedly we've been marathoning Jackass over dinner all week, but still- to Letterman, while on Leno. That takes mad skillz, my friends. Mad skillz.

... somehow, a customer managed to remove THE ENTIRE TOILET SEAT in the public bathroom at work today.

WHY

Real, actual conversation from tonight:

Him: Whoa, apparently Jensen Atwood played the romantic lead opposite Halle Berry in Their Eyes Were Watching God. Dude, that is hot.

Me: That means his character got rabies.

Him: I'm sorry!

Today at work we got in seven copies of 'The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook', which advertised on the front cover a foodstuff(?) called 'Knickerbocker Glory ( Read more... )

I saw you in the Columbia Mall food court, having dinner with your uh- friends? handlers? Me- heavyset metalhead with a mohawk; You- a bone-white, headless, armless, naked male mannequin propped up against a chair. Your arms were on the table amongst your buddies' burgers and fries. Call me and maybe you can tell me wtf was wrong with this picture.

... no, it doesn't. It doesn't matter how much of a shitmobile it is, your vehicle is not as bad as the one we saw crossing Rt. 40 today. You know those minivans with the company logos painted on the sides? Well, apparently some poor Joe has to go to work in the BIDETMOBILE ( Read more... )

Stuff we bought today:

lunch at the Cheesecake Factory

On Tender Hooks: The Art of Isabel Samaras

a quater-pound of chocolate dipped Brazil nuts

a quarter-pound of pistachio marzipan creams

a primitive felt Piglet from the Disney store

a clearance sale Donald Duck T-shirt from the same

wedding rings

... the fuck?

We can has blizzard. We also can has HOUR-LONG ARGUMENT that stretched out over THREE PHONE CALLS with our workplace about how we would not, could not come in today. Four hours later, after they did what I am quite sure was no business whatsoever, a State of Emergency was declared and they had to FUCKING CLOSE. Nothing more needs to be said about ( Read more... )

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