Delicious Irony (And Other Acquired Tastes): Chapter Seventeen
“Bloody stupid James Potter,” Sirius muttered, kicking a pebble. Sirius had fled to the grounds after his confrontation with James, knowing that if he went back to the dormitory, they’d just fight again. Or maybe he’d run into Remus, and he couldn’t stand to see Remus run in the other direction. Not now.
“He’s my friend,” Sirius harshly told a weed sticking up between the cobblestones. “Why is it so wrong for me to not want my friend to fucking scamper off every time he sees me? It’s not wrong.”
James’s logic was just stupid. So most boys might not be so willing to hang around a bloke that fancied them-so what? Sirius felt that he had firmly established at this point that he was not “most boys.”
Bloody stupid James Potter.
It’s almost like you don’t want him to get over you!
“How could he say that?” Sirius bit out. “Of course I want Moony to get over me! I’m not a masochist. And hello, was he even listening when I told him about Teresa Gilroy? How could I have managed that if I were gay?” Sirius scoffed, kicking another pebble that dared to cross his path. “I couldn’t’ve. Stupid James Potter. Doesn’t know anything.”
“Sirius?”
Sirius glanced up to see Melinda Foss smiling at him. Sirius knew what that smile meant. “Melinda. Lovely to see you, darling. What brings you to the grounds tonight?”
“Just wanted some fresh air,” she replied, falling into step beside Sirius as he continued on the path. “You?”
“I’ve had my fill of fresh air,” Sirius said. “What say we go back inside and get warmed up, mmm?”
Melinda’s smile changed, and oh, Sirius knew what that smile meant too, knew it without her having to say anything. “I happen to know a very cozy place. Shall we?”
And Sirius followed her into the castle.
xXxXx
Sirius stared at the Fat Lady.
“Er…password?” she asked again.
“I don’t know if I want to go in there,” Sirius said. A strange noise rose from his throat; it almost sounded like a whimper.
“Nearly curfew, Mr. Black. I’m afraid you don’t have much choice,” the Fat Lady said sternly. “Now…password?”
“All right, all right,” Sirius snapped. “Bubotuber pus.”
“Finally!” the Fat Lady cried as she swung open.
“Miserable old bat,” Sirius muttered as he clambered into the common room. Avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone that might be there, Sirius hurried across to the stairwell and dashed up to the dormitory. Not until the door was safely closed behind him did lift his gaze.
He froze when he saw James.
“Sirius,” James acknowledged. “You all right? Where’ve you been?”
“Er,” Sirius said. “Er, I can’t…blast it all. I need to talk to you.”
James gave Sirius an odd look-Sirius was fairly sure he himself looked very odd right then-and nodded. “Sure,” he said slowly. “What about?”
“It’s all your bloody fault!” Sirius groaned. “You just had to-you couldn’t leave it alone, could you? And now it’s messing with my head, and I couldn’t-it’s messing with my head! This whole fucking thing is messing with my head, and I can’t take it!”
“Whoa, slow down, Padfoot,” James said, holding his hands up as if to ward off Sirius’s anger. “I know what you’re talking about, but, er, I don’t.”
“The situation’s already bad enough,” Sirius spat. “All this stupid avoiding shit. But then you have to go-and it gets me all worried and whatnot, you know? Not about-not about that, because I am very secure in my sexuality, thank you very much. But I just get worried about him and I can’t focus and-“ Sirius huffed out a breath. “Damn it all to hell. I couldn’t shag Melinda Foss because of this whole fucking mess, and believe me when I say I wanted to.”
“Couldn’t-“ James cut himself off. “Oh. Oh. Well. It happens. You-you’re going through a lot right now, if you just give it some time-“
“I DON’T WANT TO GIVE IT TIME!” Sirius bellowed. “WE’VE BEEN THROUGH THIS, JAMES. I don’t want to give it any bloody time! I want Remus back. And I want shagging. And you telling me I have to wait for both is not helping. I just want this whole thing to be over and done with! I don’t want to spend bloody ages wondering when it’s okay for me to talk to my best friend again, and I don’t want you telling me that I have to! So just shut your bleeding trap and-“
“Sirius, you’re disrupting the whole common room with your temper.”
Sirius whirled angrily towards the door. “You! We need to talk.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw James blanch. “Sirius-“
“No, James. Get out. Moony and I need to have a chat. Goodbye.”
James looked for a moment like he was going to continue arguing, but a short nod from Remus stopped him cold. “Go ahead, James,” Remus said softly. “Sirius and I need to talk.”
James looked back and forth between the two, obviously reluctant to leave them alone together. “Fine,” he sighed, giving in. “I’ll go. I’ll just be right down in the common room, reading a book or…or something.” Sirius gave James a hard glare as James continued to dither. “Right, I’m going.” With a last glance at Remus, James walked quickly from the room, not sure if he was doing the right thing.
xXxXx
James found himself in the common room doing “or something,” which was apparently talking to Lily Evans. More importantly, it was talking to Lily Evans about another date.
“I was thinking, there’s this place overlooking the Quidditch pitch that I go to sometimes,” James was saying. “Really nice and grassy, great view. Maybe we could, I dunno, have a picnic there or something?”
“That would be…nice,” Lily said. She was biting her lip and looking at a point some two feet to the right of James’s head.
“I’m getting the distinct impression that you’re not all with me, Lily,” James drawled.
“What?” Lily jumped slightly. “No, I am. I just…it’s nothing. Picnic. Sounds lovely. Really.”
James studied Lily for a moment, noting the slight frown upon her face. “Are you…cross with me?” he asked slowly, afraid to hear her answer.
“No, not cross,” Lily mumbled.
“Then what is it? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, Lily. It’s written all over your face that it’s something.”
Lily narrowed her eyes at James’s tone. “How many dates have we been on, James Potter?”
“Er,” James said. “Quite a few.”
“What?” Lily gasped. “Are you-do you not remember how many we’ve gone on? Seriously?”
“Well, uh, that depends on what you define as a date,” James said, trying not to trip over the words as he hurried to get them out. He had to explain fast; Lily looked as angry as a spitting cat. “Six if you’re not counting meeting in a classroom for a snog, nine if you are.”
Lily visibly deflated. “Oh. Um, right. So, six or nine dates, depending on how you look at it.” Lily gave James a look that was part disappointment, part nervousness, and part…desire? “So why haven’t you asked me to be your girlfriend yet?”
James froze.
“I, uh.” James floundered. “Do you want me to?”
“Well, now I don’t know.”
“Now? What do you mean, now? You had a definite answer before?” Lily opened her mouth to reply, but James decided that he very much didn’t want to hear what she had to say to that. So he turned to the one refuge that almost always worked for him: rambling. “Because if you did have a definite answer before and that definite answer was yes, then I really, really think you should reconsider that yes. I mean, yeah I’m an idiot for not asking before now, but I’ve never done this before, Lily! I didn’t want to do it too soon, you know? The last thing I want to do is mess this up. But if your definite answer was no, then I’ll wait, I swear I will. You know I will. I’ve waited years for you, Lily Evans, I can stand to wait a bit longer.”
Lily stared at James for a long moment; James started to sweat. Oh god oh god oh god.
Very abruptly, Lily smacked James across the face.
“Ow!” James yelled. “What-“
“Damn you, James Potter!” Lily wailed. “Every time I get angry with you, you have to go and-damn you, James Potter!”
“What?” James said blankly.
“I can never be angry with you! I used to always be angry with you! And now you go and say all these bloody perfect things all the time and I can’t be!” Lily groaned. “You are maddening.”
“I’m sorry, I just-wait,” James blinked owlishly at her. “I say perfect things? What I said was perfect? What does that mean? Does that mean yes?”
“Yes, you prat, it means yes,” Lily said grumpily.
James stared at her in wonder before letting out a laugh that made Lily jump. “Don’t sound so thrilled,” James teased her. “You just-oh, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” James slid off the couch and onto the floor, placing himself on bended knee in front of Lily. He took her hand and smiled charmingly up at her; Lily tried very hard to keep the scowl on her face, but that smile was having a terrible effect on her frown. “Lily Evans,” James said in a voice that rang through the common room, “will you be my girlfriend?”
Her answer was everything James had dreamed of.
xXxXx
Peter had just walked into the common room when James got down on bended knee.
He grinned when James spoke and clapped with the rest of the Gryffindors when Lily answered him with a kiss. When they broke apart, she was blushing furiously and made a hasty departure for her dormitory.
Peter walked up to the couch and dropped down beside James. “About bloody time, you prat,” Peter said cheerfully. “What took you so long?”
James favored Peter with his middle finger. Peter chuckled. “What it boils down to,” James said, “is that I’m a prat.”
“That you are,” Peter replied sagely.
“Yeah, yeah, thanks for the self-confidence boost,” James muttered. “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around much the past few days.”
“I’ve, uh, been spending a lot of time with Dorcas,” Peter said, blushing heavily.
James snickered. “Made a man out of you, did she?” He laughed at Peter’s sputtering. “Calm down, Pete. I think that’s great. Think you two will stay together after you graduate?”
“We’ve talked about it,” Peter said. “A bit anyway. She said she doesn’t want me to feel tied down since she’ll still be in school, and I told her to stop being stupid, and that’s when the discussion, uh, ended.”
“In the best way for a discussion to end, I imagine.” James threw a lecherous wink at Peter, who answered with a small smile.
“Well I’ve got some Charms work to do still,” Peter said, “so I’m going to head up to the dorm. You coming up soon? It’s pretty late.”
“No!” James cried. “That is, I can’t go in there. We can’t go in there.”
Peter gave James a somewhat bewildered look before understanding settled in. “Oh. Sirius has one of his girls up there?”
“Er, no,” James replied. “Well, Sirius is up there, but he’s, uh, talking to Remus.”
“Oh.” Peter and James sat in awkward silence for a moment. “Is it to do with why Remus has been avoiding Sirius on and off since their prank?”
“Noticed that, did you?” James said with a wry smile. “Figured you would. Sorry I didn’t say anything, but-“
Peter waved off James’s apology. “Wouldn’t want Sirius hexing you just for the sake of keeping me in the loop,” Peter said. He gave James a look from the corner of his eye. “So, I could probably assume what’s happened between those two, but you know what they say about assuming things.”
“Too right,” James sighed. He glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to listen in on their conversation. “Well, the short and short of it is that Remus fancied Sirius, started dating another bloke to get over Sirius, and now, our Moony fancies himself in love with our Padfoot.”
Peter groaned. “This can’t end well.”
James sat quietly as he thought about that statement. There were so many ways this situation could end, and, as Peter had said, almost none of the plausible ones were positive. But still…“I have to believe it will.”
xXxXx
Sirius supposed he should be feeling very victorious about managing to corner Remus so quickly, but all he could think was that here he was after managing to corner Remus and he had no idea what to say.
Remus was clearly at a loss too. After his initial hesitation at the door, he slowly crossed the room to his bed and dropped his rucksack onto it. “Well.” Remus was obviously struggling to keep his voice level. “You wanted to talk. So talk.”
Sirius scratched the back of his neck in a gesture of awkwardness that looked perfectly alien to Remus. “What you said this morning…” Remus flinched, and Sirius almost decided to let the boy off the hook and let him continue with his avoidance tactics. Almost. “I know it makes things a bit…weird…between us. And I know that you’re going to try to make it better for both of us by avoiding me for the rest of the term, and then who knows how long afterwards. Maybe you were planning on moving to-I don’t know-Yemen after graduation.” Sirius cast an accusatory glare towards Remus. “But you don’t solve problems by running away from them. And while it might make it better for you to run off and never see me again, how will that make me feel better?” Sirius gave a scornful laugh. “Yeah, that’s right. While you’re thinking about ‘you, you, you,’ I’m thinking about ‘me, me, me.’ So we’re both being selfish. While you’re off getting over this whole thing, I’ll be without one of my best friends. Did you think about that at all, Remus? Did you think I’d be all right without you? That I’d be happy? Am I supposed to be okay when you’re not around? You keep acting like everything is going to be fine, and maybe you will be, but what about me? What about me?”
Remus closed his eyes and leaned against the bedpost, suddenly feeling so very, very tired. “I know it’s hard, Sirius,” he murmured, “but you don’t understand…I can’t be around you all the time, it just-“ a sigh of defeat “-it just wouldn’t be good.”
“I don’t bloody care,” Sirius said savagely. “I am not losing you, Remus! You’re one of my best friends!” He took a shaky breath. “Besides. I almost lost you once. I don’t fancy going through something like that again.”
“Sirius…” Remus sighed. “The fact is, Sirius, I don’t think I can be friends with you and keep myself from touching you.”
“What if…what if I’m willing to let you touch me?”
The look of shock on Remus’s face was mirrored by Sirius’s own; clearly, Sirius was just as surprised by what had come out of his mouth as Remus was.
“You are obviously not thinking clearly,” Remus said tremulously. “You’re distressed, and that’s-“
But Sirius had recovered by this point and wasn’t going to let Remus logic himself out of it. “No, no I think I am thinking clearly.” He took a step forward towards Remus. “I mean, what’s a little kissing between friends?” Another step. “We did it for April Fools’. I didn’t mind it then, why would I mind it now?” And another. Sirius grinned at Remus. “You’re a bloody good kisser, you know.”
Remus was sure his jaw had dropped and was currently sitting on the floor. “Sirius. Sirius, don’t be stupid.”
But suddenly, Sirius was standing right in front of him, grinning that wicked grin of his. “Always am,” he said.
With that, Sirius pressed his lips to Remus’s. Remus allowed himself to fall into the kiss for only a moment-a moment in which the world could have ended and he didn’t think he would have minded all that much-before stepping back. He had to try very hard not to lick his lips. “If you’re going to be with me, Sirius,” he said, a little proud of how steady the words came out despite how shaken he was feeling, “you have to actually want to be with me. Being friends and being boyfriends are two very different things, and I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you came to hate me after realizing the difference.”
“I could never hate you, Moony,” Sirius started to protest, but Remus held up his hand.
“No,” he said firmly. “I’m not going to take advantage of you just because you’re too stupid to realize it.” And I’m not going to let myself be disappointed every time you put me aside for some bird, not going to let myself get my hopes up. Remus sighed and stepped further away from Sirius. “Look, we both…we need to just take a step back for now. We’ll talk again, I promise,” Remus said hurriedly, seeing the argument on Sirius’s face, “but right now, we need to just…take a step back. Okay?”
Sirius’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he fought the urge to start the argument Remus was determined to cut off at the knees. “Yeah, okay,” he finally muttered. He fixed his gaze on Remus, his eyes blazing. “But we will talk again. And soon.”
“Yes,” Remus softly agreed. “We will.”
xXxXx
Chapter One: Misconceptions and Consequences Thereof
Chapter Two: A Rather Complicated Situation
Chapter Three: The Kind Of Plan That Never Fails
Chapter Four: The Stealing of James Potter's Thunder
Chapter Five: Plotting Solo for a Change
Chapter Six: Provocation and It's Appeal
Chapter Seven: Bursting the Metaphorical Bubble
Chapter Eight: The Nervous Game
Chapter Nine: Hot and Bothered
Chapter Ten: How The Story Ends, Part One
Chapter Eleven: Three Awkward Conversations
Chapter Twelve: Dinner and a Show
Chapter Thirteen: Mates, Dates, and Dungbombs
Chapter Fourteen: The Climax and the Conclusion
Chapter Fifteen: Ruined For Anyone Else
Chapter Sixteen: Any Solution But That One
“He’s my friend,” Sirius harshly told a weed sticking up between the cobblestones. “Why is it so wrong for me to not want my friend to fucking scamper off every time he sees me? It’s not wrong.”
James’s logic was just stupid. So most boys might not be so willing to hang around a bloke that fancied them-so what? Sirius felt that he had firmly established at this point that he was not “most boys.”
Bloody stupid James Potter.
It’s almost like you don’t want him to get over you!
“How could he say that?” Sirius bit out. “Of course I want Moony to get over me! I’m not a masochist. And hello, was he even listening when I told him about Teresa Gilroy? How could I have managed that if I were gay?” Sirius scoffed, kicking another pebble that dared to cross his path. “I couldn’t’ve. Stupid James Potter. Doesn’t know anything.”
“Sirius?”
Sirius glanced up to see Melinda Foss smiling at him. Sirius knew what that smile meant. “Melinda. Lovely to see you, darling. What brings you to the grounds tonight?”
“Just wanted some fresh air,” she replied, falling into step beside Sirius as he continued on the path. “You?”
“I’ve had my fill of fresh air,” Sirius said. “What say we go back inside and get warmed up, mmm?”
Melinda’s smile changed, and oh, Sirius knew what that smile meant too, knew it without her having to say anything. “I happen to know a very cozy place. Shall we?”
And Sirius followed her into the castle.
xXxXx
Sirius stared at the Fat Lady.
“Er…password?” she asked again.
“I don’t know if I want to go in there,” Sirius said. A strange noise rose from his throat; it almost sounded like a whimper.
“Nearly curfew, Mr. Black. I’m afraid you don’t have much choice,” the Fat Lady said sternly. “Now…password?”
“All right, all right,” Sirius snapped. “Bubotuber pus.”
“Finally!” the Fat Lady cried as she swung open.
“Miserable old bat,” Sirius muttered as he clambered into the common room. Avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone that might be there, Sirius hurried across to the stairwell and dashed up to the dormitory. Not until the door was safely closed behind him did lift his gaze.
He froze when he saw James.
“Sirius,” James acknowledged. “You all right? Where’ve you been?”
“Er,” Sirius said. “Er, I can’t…blast it all. I need to talk to you.”
James gave Sirius an odd look-Sirius was fairly sure he himself looked very odd right then-and nodded. “Sure,” he said slowly. “What about?”
“It’s all your bloody fault!” Sirius groaned. “You just had to-you couldn’t leave it alone, could you? And now it’s messing with my head, and I couldn’t-it’s messing with my head! This whole fucking thing is messing with my head, and I can’t take it!”
“Whoa, slow down, Padfoot,” James said, holding his hands up as if to ward off Sirius’s anger. “I know what you’re talking about, but, er, I don’t.”
“The situation’s already bad enough,” Sirius spat. “All this stupid avoiding shit. But then you have to go-and it gets me all worried and whatnot, you know? Not about-not about that, because I am very secure in my sexuality, thank you very much. But I just get worried about him and I can’t focus and-“ Sirius huffed out a breath. “Damn it all to hell. I couldn’t shag Melinda Foss because of this whole fucking mess, and believe me when I say I wanted to.”
“Couldn’t-“ James cut himself off. “Oh. Oh. Well. It happens. You-you’re going through a lot right now, if you just give it some time-“
“I DON’T WANT TO GIVE IT TIME!” Sirius bellowed. “WE’VE BEEN THROUGH THIS, JAMES. I don’t want to give it any bloody time! I want Remus back. And I want shagging. And you telling me I have to wait for both is not helping. I just want this whole thing to be over and done with! I don’t want to spend bloody ages wondering when it’s okay for me to talk to my best friend again, and I don’t want you telling me that I have to! So just shut your bleeding trap and-“
“Sirius, you’re disrupting the whole common room with your temper.”
Sirius whirled angrily towards the door. “You! We need to talk.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw James blanch. “Sirius-“
“No, James. Get out. Moony and I need to have a chat. Goodbye.”
James looked for a moment like he was going to continue arguing, but a short nod from Remus stopped him cold. “Go ahead, James,” Remus said softly. “Sirius and I need to talk.”
James looked back and forth between the two, obviously reluctant to leave them alone together. “Fine,” he sighed, giving in. “I’ll go. I’ll just be right down in the common room, reading a book or…or something.” Sirius gave James a hard glare as James continued to dither. “Right, I’m going.” With a last glance at Remus, James walked quickly from the room, not sure if he was doing the right thing.
xXxXx
James found himself in the common room doing “or something,” which was apparently talking to Lily Evans. More importantly, it was talking to Lily Evans about another date.
“I was thinking, there’s this place overlooking the Quidditch pitch that I go to sometimes,” James was saying. “Really nice and grassy, great view. Maybe we could, I dunno, have a picnic there or something?”
“That would be…nice,” Lily said. She was biting her lip and looking at a point some two feet to the right of James’s head.
“I’m getting the distinct impression that you’re not all with me, Lily,” James drawled.
“What?” Lily jumped slightly. “No, I am. I just…it’s nothing. Picnic. Sounds lovely. Really.”
James studied Lily for a moment, noting the slight frown upon her face. “Are you…cross with me?” he asked slowly, afraid to hear her answer.
“No, not cross,” Lily mumbled.
“Then what is it? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, Lily. It’s written all over your face that it’s something.”
Lily narrowed her eyes at James’s tone. “How many dates have we been on, James Potter?”
“Er,” James said. “Quite a few.”
“What?” Lily gasped. “Are you-do you not remember how many we’ve gone on? Seriously?”
“Well, uh, that depends on what you define as a date,” James said, trying not to trip over the words as he hurried to get them out. He had to explain fast; Lily looked as angry as a spitting cat. “Six if you’re not counting meeting in a classroom for a snog, nine if you are.”
Lily visibly deflated. “Oh. Um, right. So, six or nine dates, depending on how you look at it.” Lily gave James a look that was part disappointment, part nervousness, and part…desire? “So why haven’t you asked me to be your girlfriend yet?”
James froze.
“I, uh.” James floundered. “Do you want me to?”
“Well, now I don’t know.”
“Now? What do you mean, now? You had a definite answer before?” Lily opened her mouth to reply, but James decided that he very much didn’t want to hear what she had to say to that. So he turned to the one refuge that almost always worked for him: rambling. “Because if you did have a definite answer before and that definite answer was yes, then I really, really think you should reconsider that yes. I mean, yeah I’m an idiot for not asking before now, but I’ve never done this before, Lily! I didn’t want to do it too soon, you know? The last thing I want to do is mess this up. But if your definite answer was no, then I’ll wait, I swear I will. You know I will. I’ve waited years for you, Lily Evans, I can stand to wait a bit longer.”
Lily stared at James for a long moment; James started to sweat. Oh god oh god oh god.
Very abruptly, Lily smacked James across the face.
“Ow!” James yelled. “What-“
“Damn you, James Potter!” Lily wailed. “Every time I get angry with you, you have to go and-damn you, James Potter!”
“What?” James said blankly.
“I can never be angry with you! I used to always be angry with you! And now you go and say all these bloody perfect things all the time and I can’t be!” Lily groaned. “You are maddening.”
“I’m sorry, I just-wait,” James blinked owlishly at her. “I say perfect things? What I said was perfect? What does that mean? Does that mean yes?”
“Yes, you prat, it means yes,” Lily said grumpily.
James stared at her in wonder before letting out a laugh that made Lily jump. “Don’t sound so thrilled,” James teased her. “You just-oh, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” James slid off the couch and onto the floor, placing himself on bended knee in front of Lily. He took her hand and smiled charmingly up at her; Lily tried very hard to keep the scowl on her face, but that smile was having a terrible effect on her frown. “Lily Evans,” James said in a voice that rang through the common room, “will you be my girlfriend?”
Her answer was everything James had dreamed of.
xXxXx
Peter had just walked into the common room when James got down on bended knee.
He grinned when James spoke and clapped with the rest of the Gryffindors when Lily answered him with a kiss. When they broke apart, she was blushing furiously and made a hasty departure for her dormitory.
Peter walked up to the couch and dropped down beside James. “About bloody time, you prat,” Peter said cheerfully. “What took you so long?”
James favored Peter with his middle finger. Peter chuckled. “What it boils down to,” James said, “is that I’m a prat.”
“That you are,” Peter replied sagely.
“Yeah, yeah, thanks for the self-confidence boost,” James muttered. “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around much the past few days.”
“I’ve, uh, been spending a lot of time with Dorcas,” Peter said, blushing heavily.
James snickered. “Made a man out of you, did she?” He laughed at Peter’s sputtering. “Calm down, Pete. I think that’s great. Think you two will stay together after you graduate?”
“We’ve talked about it,” Peter said. “A bit anyway. She said she doesn’t want me to feel tied down since she’ll still be in school, and I told her to stop being stupid, and that’s when the discussion, uh, ended.”
“In the best way for a discussion to end, I imagine.” James threw a lecherous wink at Peter, who answered with a small smile.
“Well I’ve got some Charms work to do still,” Peter said, “so I’m going to head up to the dorm. You coming up soon? It’s pretty late.”
“No!” James cried. “That is, I can’t go in there. We can’t go in there.”
Peter gave James a somewhat bewildered look before understanding settled in. “Oh. Sirius has one of his girls up there?”
“Er, no,” James replied. “Well, Sirius is up there, but he’s, uh, talking to Remus.”
“Oh.” Peter and James sat in awkward silence for a moment. “Is it to do with why Remus has been avoiding Sirius on and off since their prank?”
“Noticed that, did you?” James said with a wry smile. “Figured you would. Sorry I didn’t say anything, but-“
Peter waved off James’s apology. “Wouldn’t want Sirius hexing you just for the sake of keeping me in the loop,” Peter said. He gave James a look from the corner of his eye. “So, I could probably assume what’s happened between those two, but you know what they say about assuming things.”
“Too right,” James sighed. He glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to listen in on their conversation. “Well, the short and short of it is that Remus fancied Sirius, started dating another bloke to get over Sirius, and now, our Moony fancies himself in love with our Padfoot.”
Peter groaned. “This can’t end well.”
James sat quietly as he thought about that statement. There were so many ways this situation could end, and, as Peter had said, almost none of the plausible ones were positive. But still…“I have to believe it will.”
xXxXx
Sirius supposed he should be feeling very victorious about managing to corner Remus so quickly, but all he could think was that here he was after managing to corner Remus and he had no idea what to say.
Remus was clearly at a loss too. After his initial hesitation at the door, he slowly crossed the room to his bed and dropped his rucksack onto it. “Well.” Remus was obviously struggling to keep his voice level. “You wanted to talk. So talk.”
Sirius scratched the back of his neck in a gesture of awkwardness that looked perfectly alien to Remus. “What you said this morning…” Remus flinched, and Sirius almost decided to let the boy off the hook and let him continue with his avoidance tactics. Almost. “I know it makes things a bit…weird…between us. And I know that you’re going to try to make it better for both of us by avoiding me for the rest of the term, and then who knows how long afterwards. Maybe you were planning on moving to-I don’t know-Yemen after graduation.” Sirius cast an accusatory glare towards Remus. “But you don’t solve problems by running away from them. And while it might make it better for you to run off and never see me again, how will that make me feel better?” Sirius gave a scornful laugh. “Yeah, that’s right. While you’re thinking about ‘you, you, you,’ I’m thinking about ‘me, me, me.’ So we’re both being selfish. While you’re off getting over this whole thing, I’ll be without one of my best friends. Did you think about that at all, Remus? Did you think I’d be all right without you? That I’d be happy? Am I supposed to be okay when you’re not around? You keep acting like everything is going to be fine, and maybe you will be, but what about me? What about me?”
Remus closed his eyes and leaned against the bedpost, suddenly feeling so very, very tired. “I know it’s hard, Sirius,” he murmured, “but you don’t understand…I can’t be around you all the time, it just-“ a sigh of defeat “-it just wouldn’t be good.”
“I don’t bloody care,” Sirius said savagely. “I am not losing you, Remus! You’re one of my best friends!” He took a shaky breath. “Besides. I almost lost you once. I don’t fancy going through something like that again.”
“Sirius…” Remus sighed. “The fact is, Sirius, I don’t think I can be friends with you and keep myself from touching you.”
“What if…what if I’m willing to let you touch me?”
The look of shock on Remus’s face was mirrored by Sirius’s own; clearly, Sirius was just as surprised by what had come out of his mouth as Remus was.
“You are obviously not thinking clearly,” Remus said tremulously. “You’re distressed, and that’s-“
But Sirius had recovered by this point and wasn’t going to let Remus logic himself out of it. “No, no I think I am thinking clearly.” He took a step forward towards Remus. “I mean, what’s a little kissing between friends?” Another step. “We did it for April Fools’. I didn’t mind it then, why would I mind it now?” And another. Sirius grinned at Remus. “You’re a bloody good kisser, you know.”
Remus was sure his jaw had dropped and was currently sitting on the floor. “Sirius. Sirius, don’t be stupid.”
But suddenly, Sirius was standing right in front of him, grinning that wicked grin of his. “Always am,” he said.
With that, Sirius pressed his lips to Remus’s. Remus allowed himself to fall into the kiss for only a moment-a moment in which the world could have ended and he didn’t think he would have minded all that much-before stepping back. He had to try very hard not to lick his lips. “If you’re going to be with me, Sirius,” he said, a little proud of how steady the words came out despite how shaken he was feeling, “you have to actually want to be with me. Being friends and being boyfriends are two very different things, and I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you came to hate me after realizing the difference.”
“I could never hate you, Moony,” Sirius started to protest, but Remus held up his hand.
“No,” he said firmly. “I’m not going to take advantage of you just because you’re too stupid to realize it.” And I’m not going to let myself be disappointed every time you put me aside for some bird, not going to let myself get my hopes up. Remus sighed and stepped further away from Sirius. “Look, we both…we need to just take a step back for now. We’ll talk again, I promise,” Remus said hurriedly, seeing the argument on Sirius’s face, “but right now, we need to just…take a step back. Okay?”
Sirius’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he fought the urge to start the argument Remus was determined to cut off at the knees. “Yeah, okay,” he finally muttered. He fixed his gaze on Remus, his eyes blazing. “But we will talk again. And soon.”
“Yes,” Remus softly agreed. “We will.”
xXxXx
Chapter One: Misconceptions and Consequences Thereof
Chapter Two: A Rather Complicated Situation
Chapter Three: The Kind Of Plan That Never Fails
Chapter Four: The Stealing of James Potter's Thunder
Chapter Five: Plotting Solo for a Change
Chapter Six: Provocation and It's Appeal
Chapter Seven: Bursting the Metaphorical Bubble
Chapter Eight: The Nervous Game
Chapter Nine: Hot and Bothered
Chapter Ten: How The Story Ends, Part One
Chapter Eleven: Three Awkward Conversations
Chapter Twelve: Dinner and a Show
Chapter Thirteen: Mates, Dates, and Dungbombs
Chapter Fourteen: The Climax and the Conclusion
Chapter Fifteen: Ruined For Anyone Else
Chapter Sixteen: Any Solution But That One