Wow there is a lot to update you on. Might have to use cuts.

( Horseriding )

 wow 2010 I guess it is high time I said farewell to you. I'm a bit late but it seems like Jan is always a hectic time ( Read more... )

 Sometimes everything just feels insurmountable. They shouldn't, they should be going well but yet I still seem to feel like I'm at the bottom of a mud pit, lungs crushed and heart squeezed. What reasons do I have to be anxious ( Read more... )

Yep I am posting again ( Read more... )

 *sigh ( Read more... )

 Argh.

I'm anxious. My heart feels like its going to explode, my chest is tight and I feel like I need to bolt. I'm trying to be rational and stay calm but all I wanna do is start gulping for air. It feels like it is like this all the time. 2-3 times a day at least. And I didn't realise. I thought it was my hot flushes. And I don't like it.

Why am I ( Read more... )

Feeling a bit blargh this evening ( Read more... )

well i guess things are slightly better, nit as suicidal all the time and hy the cryings down only several times a day whoopti doo :-( dont know what i want to do, fade away mainly but its more passive than activily angerily suicidial. not sure if thats better or worse, passive is more thought out. i need to stop this crying, is it possible to ( Read more... )

- lustral upped to 150mg

- diazepam usage rising fast

- told work i'm gonna leave at the end of june

- feel so empty

Dans

Well I guess its time for another update. For some reason I have been avoiding updating this, not sure why. I went to cornwall to stay with becky and sarah for lis' bday suprise, she seemed to like it which was good. Kay and sam came too. beckys little boy is so sweet. we went to the museum of withcraft which was interesting and we went to the eden ( Read more... )