so this trying to not worry thing is working out pretty well. i've worried about everything way too much.

finally got some money! unemployment kicked in. so happy.not my preferred method of getting paid but its something for now. running over to reliable today to see if i can get a temp position. i've applied pretty much everywhere i can think of. we'll see how that goes

just wondering when people are going to start listening to what i have to say. i've been through enough in my almost 23 years of life to realize how people are due to their personality. as far as i can tell, i haven't been wrong about one person yet. i see right through the disguises, but when i try to tell people how this person is, they just blow ( Read more... )

another thing that suck is that i've brought up the fact that i have 2 songs that i haven't played for her yet and she won't ask me about them. she pretty much admitted this morning that she doesn't like my stuff so that's ok. i'm so used to it. pretty much everything that comes from me is a piece of shit to everyone else. that's a major reason as ( Read more... )

i guess i'm feeling better today. not sure how long it's gonna last. really hoping that tonight is a normal night. not one of those sleep over nights. i gave in and i'm applying at restaurants now for a server position. i really don't want to serve again but i have to find something. whatever. i'm never gonna be happy in a normal job anyway. i've ( Read more... )

right now yet again is one of those moments that i want to take this can opener and drive it into my chest and rip my heart out with it. i hate my life so much

so i think part of my destiny is to never be happy. at least not for long periods of time. not gonna lie, i'm pretty fucking miserable. i mean, i'm happy for the most part with my relationship and all but still there's things that bother me a lot. like how i think she still partially has feelings for him. it normally wouldn't be weird but they live ( Read more... )

oh my god talk about a crazy past week. called out of work today because i kinda needed a break from it. today is our one month =). uber happy about that. it's nice taking things slow for a change and not rushing around like an idiot. i've written 6 new acoustic songs within the past month which i'm so happy about. i'm kind of in a writing rut ( Read more... )

there's times when i hate myself. now is one of those times. i don't know why but i just got really down and depressed out of nowhere. maybe i've got bi-polar. maybe i'm literally depressed. i don't really know. i already know how this will go though. soon enough i'll be heading to bed and everything will be better. i don't feel like i can ( Read more... )

so my life's taken unexpected turns recently. i don't know where i'm at exactly. i have the potential to be happy. it's just nt completely grasping at the moment. i really like the girl. i hope she feels the same for me.