(no subject)
there's times when i hate myself. now is one of those times. i don't know why but i just got really down and depressed out of nowhere. maybe i've got bi-polar. maybe i'm literally depressed. i don't really know. i already know how this will go though. soon enough i'll be heading to bed and everything will be better. i don't feel like i can completely write out my thoughts because i don't know how to say all of them. just don't feel like i fit in with anyone. yeah they've come to me because of how i am anyway but still. i've just been hoping for more i guess so far. my life has been an utter disaster for most of its length. i haven't accomplished much. tonight was yet another open mic at the teapot and i missed the fuckin thing again. i want to go out and play my acoustic stuff but i'm totally missing my chances. i'm thinking of going up to noho this summer on weekend nights and just sitting out to play my guitar. i don't know. i just don't think anyone connects with me. sure, they've tried but it's like trying to drill through a brick wall with a noodle. nobody will ever understand.