Hmm.  So, PMSing, Beltane was cresting, and I spent over a day by myself.  In reference to previous mood I again ponder, Hmmm.

Hmmm indeed.

Thank goodness for late night Comedy Central.  Chases away the disquieting feelings that make me still slightly embarrased when they move me to dance with myself on a trip back from starbucks in the grass outside my dorm.

I always feel weirder alone, like older younger eternal weirder.  I had a flashback tonight while gulping down my current crack ( Read more... )

In the quiet hours of the morning, having not yet gone to sleep and my eyes pleasantly burning from reading for too many hours, when I'm naked and alone in my warm dark room with just touches of sunlight reaching in around the corner of my curtains and the fan a forgettable drone in the distance, when I touch my soft covers and dark wood of my bed ( Read more... )

Good day today with Sandra.  We've had such a busy, hardworking week, the both of us and this weekend is sooooo deserved.

I've sersiously been studying my ass off, it's weird but I'm glad.  I've missed my old way of school where I'm on top of things and attentive.

We tried to find this cool tarot/palm reader today but they moved for renovation so ( Read more... )

Sometimes I don't know who I am.   It bothers me.

Not in the annoying amnesia way, or the am I alive? or really in my imagination? way.  I don't know my self.  My core.

Most of the time I'm completely sure but sometimes I have jarring moments where i hear myself speak and see myself doing something and I watch, from the outside and think "who is that ( Read more... )

I'm 20 today.  I really don't like it *sigh*  Though I'm glad it's my birthday.

I don't like getting older so fast.  It's not really fast, since I don't actually feel like a teenager anymore, but I don't feel 20, that as hell's for sure.

20.  It's so looming and large and about to crush me with responsibility and adulthood, except for the drinking ( Read more... )

I love my best friend's excellent taste in music.  It's so interesting and nice.  But especially useful.

Because when I'm already in a slightly depressed mood and she just gives me all these INTENSELY DEPRESSING BUT RELEVANT songs, that put into words my feelings better than I ever could.  And that she understands.  The level of the pain.  Or at ( Read more... )

I know, I know.  I haven't updated in a long, long time (a month!), but December's my busiest month.  I'm just gonna do a quick one now, and a better one later.  Yeah.

I LOVE DEPECHE MODE! I kinda knew it, but when my fav part of "Just Can't Get Enough" Comes on, I'm on the way to refill my water glass, and I have to stop and start singing along, ( Read more... )

I like to look at trees.  I like to watch them sway with the wind or stay unnaturally (but actually the opposite) still.  I like the strong, tall ones that tower over me with hundreds of thick and tiny branches.  I like the weak ones that are dying, thin and bent, wasting away before they should.  I like ones with leaves or ones stripped bare.  I ( Read more... )