What can I ask of you/What would you want from me/What would you do if I just fell asleep?
I love my best friend's excellent taste in music. It's so interesting and nice. But especially useful.
Because when I'm already in a slightly depressed mood and she just gives me all these INTENSELY DEPRESSING BUT RELEVANT songs, that put into words my feelings better than I ever could. And that she understands. The level of the pain. Or at least how good the song is. I just....
It's nice to revel in the pain/depressing part of my life with my best friend who's there for me and who understands. Or tries to.
I never asked for that much. But it's there. And I'm grateful. I'll be anything for my friends, and I hope to get the same. But I never expect it. I've always loved the sad songs, the sad movies, the sad parts of plays or books. And so when I'm sad, I usually get the brunt of it alone. I'm not used to being able to share it,
If I can explain the problem of why I'm unhappy at all well enough, there doesn't have to be a solution. And if I have someone there next to me, who's willing to be there for me, who gets it. Even a little. It's...such an unexpected relief.
So yeah. I <3 her taste in music. And her. I love that I get a friend like her at all. Even if I do deserve it.
Gratefulness keeps me humble.
And it makes me feel less weak crying.
Playlist: Hello Saferide (Nothing Like You When You're Gone, I Wonder Who Is Like This One, Lonliness Is Better When You're Not Alone), Metric (Between the Bars-the Elliot Smith Cover)