This is the first post in a while, but I had to write somewhere...something. Anything ( Read more... )

and so, as with my last journal, i am ending this one and starting fresh with a new chapter in life.

i moved to san diego, and started what i should have a long time ago: renewal...in a nutshell.

it's what i needed.

I've been feeling really detached the last few days, in some ways on purpose, in other ways...naturally ( Read more... )

I have a new job, and am trying to have a new life. Unfortunately, it's still hard sometimes. I had a really good day and night last night and today...and am trying to stay this positive. I still have a few slips though, I started crying the other night and missed Jake horribly, which sucks because well, it sucks and I hate having absolutely no ( Read more... )

I think I'm going to stay single for a very long time.

My lack of faith in anyone I care for is devoid.

My lack of interest in anyone who cares about me seems to be about the same.

It's done ( Read more... )

i'm getting complacent with this whole not being loved as much as i love him thing.

it works, for now.

not what i want...but what i can get...i guess i'll take it for now.

the meds are working...things are improving.

yesterday was a very good and emotional day.

merry christmas.

meds seem to be doing something positive.

i hate this feeling of just waiting around and hoping he cares.

plan of action:

if things do not improve.

file for divorce feb-march (needs to be finalized by august for the 5 year limits)
stay living here until august or next fall
move-either to san diego or out of state.
leave the house and the corolla with jake
be single for a minimum of one-two years
get my shit together
try and be happy