Tonight is the talent show at school, and I plan to share my gift with everyone, even those who have dubbed me Adam Pissy-pants, despite the fact that bladder control issues are a fully actualized expression of my emotions. So i sat in my room practicing my Jew's harp, each note piercing my soul like so many dodge balls into my groin. I was still ( Read more... )

Today was the scariest day of my life! It all began when I was outside picking flowers for my memory box and found myself lost. I didn’t know what to do; all I could see were trees, rocks, leaves, my neighbor Rodney, and some dirt. It was awful, I thought I would never see my live journal again!! I began to weep and fall into the fetal position, ( Read more... )

Today was an exceptional day. Despite the fact it began with a severe yet somewhat titilating beating from my father, the events that took place after school were in short "so rare ( Read more... )

Today, I had an argument with my imaginary friend, Pierre ( Read more... )

Today my father announced that we would go on vacation ( Read more... )

Today, I was sitting at lunch alone again. And then some kid came up to me and said "Poopypants." I thought, thats so cliched. So Then I smelled my pants. If my calculations were correct, the stench was being emitted from my pants. I smelled. So I went home and asked my mom about it. I said, "Mom, why do I wear special underpants?" I had ( Read more... )

Today my mother bought a lawn gnome, you know, like the one in the travelocity commercials. His rugged beard and pointed hat make me quiver in anticipation.I took him to my room and tried to get him to loosen up by serving some chamomile tea and reading my poetry on the love i have yet to find. (see previous entry) Then i tried to stick him up my ( Read more... )

Today this guy called me Adam Van Der Jerk ( Read more... )

It's snowing outside ( Read more... )