My new best friend
Today my mother bought a lawn gnome, you know, like the one in the travelocity commercials. His rugged beard and pointed hat make me quiver in anticipation.I took him to my room and tried to get him to loosen up by serving some chamomile tea and reading my poetry on the love i have yet to find. (see previous entry) Then i tried to stick him up my whoopsy-daisy. My mom walked in, and after trying to explain our love, my new friend was thrown out the window. Though he now lives in the yard, my mother found us trying to consummate our love several more times in the dead of night. Now she coats his hat with tabasco sauce. It burns like fire, and makes me weep like the little girl i want to be.