-Friday night, 'Alumni' gathering for Reclaim, the gender therapy group I used to attend. Was extremely nervous about going and seeing people, but it turned out great ( Read more... )

I think it must have been 2009 that my mom told me that if I couldn't give her a daughter back, I shouldn't buy her any more Mother's Day gifts.

I wonder if I would still have a family if I had chosen to continue transitioning. I wonder what I would have.

( Read more... )

My computer is up and running again. Also, I can't wait to be on birth control (I have an appointment to get a non-hormonal IUD). Also also, I may or may not be closing the book on my FTM process in the near future. We'll see about that one.

Updatin' mah iPod. Hoorah!

I wish my clothes fit me right. I bought a totally sweet Queen "We Will Rock You" t-shirt last night and my fucking shape ruins it ( Read more... )

"O Mother,
Earth Goddess, Fertility being:
I kneel before you.
I give you my life
as you once gave it to me."Clink, clink, clink-clink ( Read more... )

Got home from class to find the letter from my mother waiting. It was 6 pages long. I started sobbing in the middle of the first paragraph. Finally called Jonathon, who came over and made me feel quite a bit better, but as soon as he left I lost it again. I just want to hide. I need someone's arms around me. Plus, I just plain miss him ( Read more... )

Just talked to my parents on the phone. Mom said she will be sending me a letter tomorrow, and she encouraged me to "really read it thoroughly and think about it, not just on the way out the door before work or something". Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaoh my god. I'm trying to be calm, trying not to be scared.

I still don't like school, but it's fair to tolerable and I didn't have even an inkling of a panic attack yesterday ( Read more... )

I really really miss having a 35mm SLR on hand. I loved that weight, the awkward heaviness that settles into your hand; I love that when you look through the lens you can turn your wheel to different focuses...you can change what you want to be seen. I miss thinking in black and white: composing in color but knowing that when it comes out it will ( Read more... )