There is some pain that is numbing and fleeting. The pain I experienced when I lost both of my grandmothers was like that. I loved them both very much, and I was there when they died, holding their hands. I was very close to my one grandmother especially. I cried when they died. But my grief was brief. I miss them both a lot, but I can't dwell on ( Read more... )

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The plan was that I would stay in New York until May, when my classes end. A little over three months. The past few days though, I realized that I don't want to wait. I want to be with him now. Right now I'm back at school. My student loan has still not been approved. It actually was denied because of my dads "low income to debt ratio", but the ( Read more... )

I miss my man horribly.

It hurt me last night when he asked me if $300 a month was fair rent ( Read more... )

I love seeing hot gay people. This may sound really bad or judgmental, but even in Manhattan I find it hard to find hot gay or bisexual men. Which is why I appreciate this ( Read more... )

I know why you always ask me if your clothes look ok. You think that because I'm bisexual, I'm automatically some queer fashion guru who can tell you if you look hot or not. First of all, you're disgusting, so no matter what you wear, I'm not going to find you attractive. All of you. And D-. You think you're hot shit, but you're an asshole. I know ( Read more... )

It's almost five am. About an hour ago, Mike ordered a pizza and left it in my room for Kaitlyn, JP and I to eat. I had two slices. I ate really healthy today until then, and I began to feel sick and fat. I made myself throw it up after everyone else left. I went into the bathroom, turned on one of the showers, took off my shirt and threw all the ( Read more... )

I'm back! My relationship is still somewhat complicated, but I am sure of a few things. He loves me and I love him. And I've never wanted anything more. I am in this, and I'm going to follow my heart. I'm young, I suppose, at 19. I have time to experience life and love, and if this is the wrong chance, what's the worst that can happen? Already he ( Read more... )

I'm really not sure what to do right now. I really only write in this blog when I have problems - I swear it's not always like this ( Read more... )