(no subject)
The plan was that I would stay in New York until May, when my classes end. A little over three months. The past few days though, I realized that I don't want to wait. I want to be with him now. Right now I'm back at school. My student loan has still not been approved. It actually was denied because of my dads "low income to debt ratio", but the woman said she was looking into something when I called her. So I don't know whats happening with that. If the loan goes through, I was going to use the windfall to pay off my credit card, that I foolishly racked up when I was making a ton of money. And then I am planning on getting a job here to save money for my move to Texas. If the loan does not go through, I don't know what I'm going to do. The computer I have now is from my school - all the honors kids got one, but if I leave without graduating I have to give it back. That's fine, but I won't have a computer or money to get a computer for a long time if I have to withdraw this semester. And then there is the problem of what I'm going to do when I get there... He only has the one car right now. His divorce isn't final yet and his wife is still living in his house - he is renting a suite in another part of town. I don't want to be totally dependent on him for everything - housing, transportation, food... I will of course get a job but what am I going to do about money until then? I realize that the most sensible thing to do is to finish my year of college here first, save some money, and then go be with him. But now if this loan doesn't go through...
I'm flying to Texas Thursday night and I'll be with him Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday morning! I can get cheap plane tickets from NY to TX so if I do stay here, I'll at least be able to see him at least once a month. That will make it more bearable.
If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.
If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.
If only centuries delayed,
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen's land.
If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I'd toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.
But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time's uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.
-Emily Dickinson
I'm flying to Texas Thursday night and I'll be with him Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday morning! I can get cheap plane tickets from NY to TX so if I do stay here, I'll at least be able to see him at least once a month. That will make it more bearable.
If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.
If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.
If only centuries delayed,
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen's land.
If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I'd toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.
But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time's uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.
-Emily Dickinson