Comments | zoe_1418: About the 17-year-old...

zoe_1418

About the 17-year-old...

Mar 09, 2016 14:08

I need to vent today, and maybe even get some advice. And although there is no way to catch you up on what has transpired in however many years, I'm reminded that this is a pretty safe place for this ( Read more... )

parenting

Comments 8

tx_cronopio March 9 2016, 20:17:43 UTC

Ugh! Yep, I think your plans are good. She's gonna just have to suck up some consequences. Still, I know this must be so maddening (and yes, painful) for you. Does she try to play you off against Mom? Sounds like you all are maintaining pretty good communication.

And the ultimate truth is that if she has to spend a couple of years working at Taco Bell before she starts college, due to her screwing off, well, it won't ruin her life, and might do her some good.

zoe_1418 March 9 2016, 20:29:28 UTC

She does try to play us off against bio-Mom, although less so (I think) than in the past. Our situation re: bio-Mom is tricky, as we have always had big concerns about bio-Mom's anger management & other issues -- yet we still want to be a united front as much as possible, plus we don't want to alienate mom and end up having less influence, to child's detriment. (Loooooooooong story.)

I do agree about the Taco Bell Consequence. In fact, I've been ready sooner than this to say "You decide. You make your choices. You live with them." But interestingly, bio-Mom is so heavily invested in kid going to college, and right away, that that is problematic -- hard to get a united front on that one. And bio-Mom's ways of following through on stuff tend to make things worse, it seems to us.

Thank you; it helps a lot just to hear someone say "Yep."

cathy_edgett March 9 2016, 23:01:41 UTC

Oh, my. My heart goes out to you. Raising a teenager is tough enough without all this complication ( ... )

e_musings March 9 2016, 23:30:58 UTC

You and your spouse are to be commended for hanging in for so long with the difficult one! Teen years are tough!

things develop, a bit mysteriously... zoe_1418 March 9 2016, 23:46:10 UTC

Thanks, you guys. All very good suggestions. AND... I've now had my meeting with the FYO, preceded by phone conversation with bio-Mom ( ... )

Re: things develop, a bit mysteriously... grrlpup March 10 2016, 00:30:23 UTC

I'm glad you're able to believe her, on the macro level anyway. You both need that. Whatever agreement you come to on whether and how to transition out of the School Monitor role, being able to have an honest conversation is gold.

(The comment has been removed)

whenever I damn well please. zoe_1418 March 10 2016, 17:49:06 UTC

And damn rightly so!

Thread 5