[Fic]: A Lesson In Communication (2/4)
One night, the only night since forever that Dino and Tsuna didn't get knocked out right after sex, Dino started talking.
"You know, the night I lost my virginity, I called my parents after I was done."
Hibari looked at Dino like he was an alien from outer space. He might be. "Are we going into story-time now?" He said, in a tone that sounded like 'What are we in, kindergarden?'
"I…didn't do that," Tsuna said. "I can't exactly tell mom that the first time I had sex was with my sworn brother and a senpai who couldn't graduate middle school."
"I chose not to graduate," Hibari corrected. Then, "You hadn't had sex before us?"
"What? I mean…" Realizing his mistake, Tsuna hastily tried to recover. "I just-I was-I was busy!"
"It's alright, Tsuna," Dino patted Tsuna's shoulder sympathetically.
"Don't make fun of me!" Tsuna blushed. "And stop looking like you're feeling sorry for me." He smacked Dino's head with a pillow, which in turn, jostled Hibari.
"Do that again and I will bite you all to death," Hibari said.
"You already did," Tsuna and Dino said at the same time, both of them raised their arms full with bite marks to demonstrate. Hibari glared, and both of them wisely said nothing else.
Hibari didn't stay in the morning, but after that night, Dino and Tsuna always tried to remain awake after sex for a while, enjoying as much of Hibari's presence as he was willing to give them.
Alright, so Dino was well aware that he was in his thirties, and that he was no longer a spring chicken, but contrary to what his parents, Romario, Tsuna's Guardians, and the woman that smelled like stale cigarettes standing in line with him at the bakery, just because he was having sex with people who were five to seven years younger than him did not mean that he was in a midlife crisis.
"I am NOT in a midlife crisis," Dino declared. People in midlife crisis, at some point, became English teachers at the local middle school or high school, looked at young girls in skirts, and hoped to get a glance of their panties. Dino had become an English teacher at Namimori once to get a better view of Hibari's and Tsuna's ass. Completely different.
"No, of course not," Tsuna said.
"Yes, you are," Hibari said. "Old man." The bastard smirked.
"I am NOT old!"
"You could barely keep up with us last night," Hibari pointed out. Last night was going great until Dino came early.
"Dino-san had a long day," Tsuna defended him. Thank you, Tsuna. My precious little brother (That sounded wrong, but whatever).
"I still have the strength to top both of you at the same time," said Dino. Never mind that it wasn't possible.
"We could top you just as easily," Tsuna said.
Hibari looked at Tsuna. "Really? I know that I can, but I don't know about you."
"I too can top Dino-san!"
Dino shook his head. "I don't know, Tsuna. You seem a little….too short for it. And you, Kyoya," he looked at Hibari, only to discover that Hibari had grown as tall as him. Damn. Must find another excuse. "You are too young."
"Height doesn't mean anything!"
"You think I can't do it?"
"Of course not," Dino scoffed.
Dino took back what he had said. Tsuna, despite his height, and Hibari, despite his age, could very well top him.
Dino would never admit this, but having both Tsuna and Hibari topping him at the same time was kind of hot.
Alright, fine, it was really hot. He might have come three times.
Dino admitted that he might be a slut.
"I had a dream last night," Dino said one evening.
"What was it?" Tsuna asked. Hibari didn't say anything, probably because he was used to Dino's random burst of anecdotes.
"It was really weird," Dino rubbed his chin. He had a bit of stubble, but he would shave it in the morning. Or maybe not, because Tsuna liked it when he brushed his stubble (or beard if he was feeling adventurous) right above Tsuna's navel. "But I dreamt that I was married to Tsuna, and Kyoya was our son."
"That's….interesting," said Tsuna.
"You dreamt of a sick incestuous orgy?" Hibari frowned.
"It wasn't like that," Dino protested.
"It's okay, Dino-san," Tsuna said sympathetically and proceeded to undo Dino's pants.
"I'm not a pervert," Dino said, but Hibari ordered everyone to take their shirt off, so his words were ignored.
"Yes, you are," Tsuna said, and before Dino could properly defend his honor as a not-pervert, Tsuna went down on him and cut off all of his thought processes.
"Hibari-san doesn't kiss me," said Tsuna. "Does he ever kiss anyone?"
"I think I kissed him once or twice before we hooked up with you," Dino rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But that was it."
"Does he have a problem with me?" Tsuna frowned. "He always moves away when I try to kiss him."
"I wouldn't worry about it," said Dino. To be honest, he was always too busy with coming to worry about things like kissing and such. "Kyoya is always like that." Dino was fairly sure that like him, Hibari was too intent on thrusting in and out of Tsuna to think about something he considered annoying like kissing.
Dino's birthday was the first one that came up, a few days after Valentine's. They didn't celebrate Valentine's either, and Dino didn't bring it up because he wasn't a romantic sap, and they were all manly men here, and it wasn't like they were dating anyway, not like they were all in love with each other because come on, that would be weird, so…
…so of course Tsuna and Hibari wouldn't care about his birthday. That was fine with Dino. Besides, he was in Italy while the other two were in Japan in the midst of this conflict against a rival mafia. Tsuna was busy mobilizing forces like the Vongola boss that he was, and Hibari was busy biting a ridiculous amount of people to death.
No, Dino did not check his phone every five minutes for a possible missed call from Tsuna or Hibari, thank you, Romario. It was a coincidence that he happened to reached inside his pocket for his phone because his wrist itched every five minutes, and he needed something to do.
So it was obviously a surprise, when he received a phone call from Tsuna when it should have been 1 AM in Japan.
"Buon Compleanno," Tsuna greeted him in accented Italian. His voice sounded rough and scratchy. Dino wondered if he had been eating well.
"You didn't have to call to wish me a happy birthday," Dino said even though he was secretly pleased. "I know how busy you are."
"Hibari-san wished you a happy birthday too," Tsuna said, and Dino could hear someone protesting in the background. "But you know, he doesn't like to call for social purposes."
Dino laughed, suddenly missing Tsuna and Hibari more than ever. He should be a good brother of a mafia boss and asked Tsuna how the conflict was going, but he ended up saying: "So, when will I see you two again?"
"Soon. We won't take long. We've missed you too," Tsuna said, and Dino realized that out of the three of them, Tsuna was and would always be the bravest one when it came to voicing feelings.
"Miss me or my dick?"
"Dino-san!" Dino could hear Tsuna's blush through the phone, even though that was impossible.
Dino took both Tsuna and Hibari to see his parents. Hibari almost ran to the back garden because he hated crowding, but Tsuna caught him by his sleeve. They then stayed and paid respect to Dino's parents like the gentlemen that they were supposed to be.
"Midlife crisis," he caught his mother whispered to his father.
Damn it! He was still young. He was NOT in a midlife crisis!
His father shook his head sadly and patted his shoulder. "It's alright son. When I was your age-"
"Please don't finish that sentence," Dino begged. "Please."
"At least tell me you three are being safe," his mother frowned. "If you need condoms-"
"Please kill me now," Dino whispered to Tsuna, but Tsuna just gave him a sympathetic look and patted his knee.
"It's alright. We're always safe," Tsuna reassured his parents. "And we try to keep the kinky play to a minimum."
"We made sure that your son consented having both of us at once," Hibari added, face completely serious.
His parents looked horrified.
"I hate you both," Dino hissed so that only Tsuna and Hibari could hear.
Hibari smirked at him afterwards, giving Tsuna a knowing look. Tsuna's face revealed nothing until Dino drove them back, and then he started laughing, the traitor.
It was still better than visiting Tsuna's house. Tsuna's mother gave them a pamphlet that said, "What to tell your gay son about safe sex! Better to be safe than sorry!" along with a box kit of lubes and condoms.
Dino was pretty sure Tsuna's mother was supposed to read that pamphlet, but he wasn't going to question it, especially since Tsuna's father was glaring at both Dino and Hibari from across the kitchen table.
Tsuna and Dino looked at each other, then at Hibari.
"No," said Hibari.
And so they did not visit Hibari's parents.
Neither Dino, Tsuna, or Hibari had put a name to this 'thing' between them, but Dino had sort of assumed that it included cohabitation, sex only with each other, and the occasional group snuggling (he was working on that because Hibari still refused). To be honest, Dino wasn't sure what he was doing, except for the mechanic of penis in, penis out, and he knew that Hibari was in the same boat. So when Tsuna asked:
"Dino-san, Hibari-san, what are we doing? What is this between us?"
"Sex," Hibari answered right away, giving Tsuna a look that could be translated eloquently as 'Duh?'
"Nothing else?"
"What else?" Hibari asked irritably. There was something strange about his irritation, and Dino recognized it as Hibari lashing out because he was confused.
Dino couldn't blame him. He didn't know how to answer Tsuna himself.
When Tsuna turned to Dino, he shrugged helplessly. "That's about it, Tsuna. Sorry."
"Okay," said Tsuna, and there was something in the slump of his shoulders that made Dino felt guilty. Dino looked at their possessions tangled together in his room, at how their lives were knotted so tightly now that it was impossible that 'sex only' described what was between them, but he had never done this before, never questioned whether he could be more to someone than a sex thing, so he didn't say anything.
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