[Fic]: A Lesson In Communication (3/4)
Dino should have known that The Problem would come up sooner or later.
He returned one day to a giant crash in his bedroom, and when he rushed to see what was going on, his men behind him, he found Hibari sending Tsuna flying across the room, crashing into the door of the closet. Before Dino could ask what was going on, Tsuna got back to his feet and charged, sending a swift kick to Hibari's chest.
They leapt at each other again, but Dino quickly got in between the two and stopped them. "What are you two doing?"
Romario immediately held Tsuna back while Dino held Hibari back. "I saw you," Hibari said angrily. "You traitor!"
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Tsuna protested. "I didn't do anything wrong."
"I saw you!" Hibari accused, struggling against Dino's arms. "Let me go!"
"Saw me doing what?"
"You were with that girl," Hibari snarled. "Did you fuck her too?"
"What? Haru? No!" Tsuna said. "We're just….it wasn't like that!"
Dino felt his stomach dropped. "Tsuna?" And at Dino's voice, both Tsuna and Hibari stopped flashing angry eyes at each other and looked at him. "Is it true?"
Dino didn't know what he was asking anymore, but he couldn't think straight. "Are…are you leaving us, Tsuna?"
"I'm sorry," Tsuna said, and Romario let him go when he didn't look like he was going to attack Hibari anymore.
Hibari, however, wasn't done because he took the chance with Dino being distracted to lunge at Tsuna, slamming him against the back wall. "You're not supposed to sleep with her or anyone else, you pathetic herbivore."
"It's none of your business," Tsuna shot back, and Dino felt his anger flared at that because…because….
But they weren't exactly together, were they? It was only a physical thing, and none of them had an obligation to stay faithful to…whatever relationship they had. Dino had never thought that each of them wasn't allowed to sleep with other people, but he didn't think that any of them would.
"I can't do this anymore!" Tsuna yanked Hibari's hands off him. "I just-I know that it's just sex between us, but it was never just sex to me. I can't-you keep confusing me and I don't know how to draw the lines anymore."
"Tsuna-" Dino began, but he didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry," Tsuna clasped Hibari's hand in his, but Hibari jerked away. "I'm not going to settle for less than what I want anymore."
"Stop apologizing," Hibari said stiffly. "Just leave if you hate this so badly."
Dino frowned. No, that wasn't what he wanted; what he wanted was-
"Dino-san," Tsuna's soft voice startled him from his thoughts. "What do you want?"
"I-" Dino said, licking his dry lips. "I don't want things to change."
Tsuna looked away from him. Hibari didn't meet his eyes.
"I see." Tsuna cleared his throat. "I'll just-" He hid his eyes under his bangs. "I'm sorry for assuming…I'll just leave now."
No, don't leave, Dino wanted to say, but then Hibari caught Tsuna's arm before he could walk away.
"No," Hibari said. "Don't go." All of them stared at Hibari's grip on Tsuna, and thought that this was it-this was the moment when it would happen, but then Hibari seemed to be at a loss for words, and mistakenly turned to Dino for support.
But Dino had never asked someone to stay before. People came and went from his life, and he never forced them to stay in a relationship if they didn't want to because why would he tie them down to himself? He didn't have much to offer Tsuna or Hibari; they were young, and they could find someone better, but Dino? He was getting old. His prime time was over.
"Dino," Hibari prompted, and it was the first time in a long while that Hibari had said his name, but Dino couldn't ask Tsuna to stay. It was great while it lasted.
"I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Tsuna," Dino said, and he knew that wasn't what Hibari wanted him to say, but it was something that he had to say for both Tsuna's and Hibari's sake.
Hibari looked like he wanted to kill Dino, but he ignored it.
Tsuna pulled his arm from Hibari. "I'll see you later, Hibari-san, Dino-san."
The bedroom was so empty with Tsuna gone.
Dino and Hibari couldn't even look at each other anymore, let alone have sex. Dino was sprawled on the bed, and Hibari was by the window, like he was going to jump out of Dino's life now that there wasn't anything worth staying for. Dino wasn't surprised."Why did you tell him to leave?"
"Me?" Dino chuckled bitterly. No, Hibari wasn't going to pin all of this on him. "You're the one who said that it was only a sex thing in the first place."
"How was I supposed to know?" said Hibari. "It was fine when it was just us. There wasn't a problem."
"For you."
"What?"
"Never mind."
Hibari stared at Dino, crossing his arms. "No."
"No?" Dino said.
"Don't pull out, you coward. Did you or did you not have a problem with what we had?"
"No, I didn't," said Dino. He swallowed. His tongue suddenly turned sour.
"Liar," Hibari said, and then he leapt from the window, disappearing into the night.
So now Dino managed to lose both Tsuna and Hibari. Good job, self. Good job.
Contrary to what everyone had thought, Hibari was the one who approached Dino first and not the other way around. Hibari moved swiftly like a predator, taking what he wanted and getting rid of everything in the way, and Dino was swept in by him, mesmerized by his confidence. Dino was well aware that it was stupid, like when he didn't want to be in the mafia, and Reborn just swept him in.
Perhaps being forced in the mafia was more jarring than he had expected because after that, Dino never had a long lasting relationship. He was always tugged along by people who knew what they wanted, and he was content not to think about what he had wanted. He was good at making people happy, and when they wanted it to be over, Dino let them go because there was no point in asking them to stay in something that wouldn't make them happy.
Hibari was like the others, but then unlike the others, he actually stayed, and Dino let him.
"It's a purely physical thing," Hibari had said, and Dino had agreed, despite the fact that no, he didn't quite wanted that, but who was he to ask Hibari for what he couldn't offer?
Then Tsuna came into the picture, and Dino found himself wanting more. But he was past the age where he could catch up to Tsuna and Hibari, past the age for Tsuna and Hibari to want him. If they weren't tired of him now, they sure would later.
Better to let Tsuna and Hibari leave now than for them to reject him later.
Dino was fast asleep when a loud bang from the window woke him up.
Kyoya?
Dino snapped awake, frantically searching for Hibari's familiar silhouette, only to catch a glimpse of a falling branch that must have hit the window.
Dino sighed and curled on Tsuna's side of the bed to go back to sleep, enjoying Tsuna's lingering scent before it was gone.
He hated himself a little.
Dino was afraid to go to the next Vongola meeting because of…reasons, and so he spent several days contemplating ways to get out of it. In the end, he decided to suck it up and go. The thought of not seeing Tsuna or Hibari for the next few months until another meeting came up was more horrifying than having to talk to either of them, so he might as well go.
The meeting went okay except for the fact that Dino kept pretending that he wasn't looking at Tsuna or Hibari when he really was, but Tsuna and Hibari acted like nothing was wrong in the world. Sure, Tsuna hesitated a little when he addressed Dino, and Hibari glared at him occasionally, but nothing was out of the ordinary, except….
Except sometimes, Dino would catch Tsuna and Hibari shooting looks at one another when the other wasn't looking, like each of them was contemplating saying something to the other but didn't dare to. Then Dino thought about the time gap that passed between all of them and realized that Tsuna and Hibari probably talked about it at some point, without him.
That stung more than Dino expected. Sure, he had thought that each of them would go find someone else at some point, but he had never thought that the two would continue on without him.
This thought left Dino standing in front of the doors to Tsuna's office once more. There was no Hibari to tell him to move forward, no Tsuna to comfort him, but Dino knew that he had to push those doors himself.
"Dino-san?" Tsuna looked up from the papers on his desk. "What do you need?"
And then Tsuna was looking at him with this hopeful look, and Dino's throat went dry. He stuffed his hands in his pockets because they were sweating and shaking, and Tsuna was giving him that look, waiting patiently like always, like Dino was holding Tsuna's heart in his hands, like Tsuna was expecting great things from Dino, but….but Dino didn't know how to do it, to make Tsuna happy, to make Hibari happy. It was always Tsuna or Hibari who decided on things, and now Tsuna was expecting him to make a decision, and maybe that was what Hibari was waiting for too, but….
Dino couldn't do it.
"I was just wondering if you need your stuff." Dino's mouth was dry. "You know, your things at my house."
"Ah," Tsuna said. "Are they in your way?"
"No, not really," Dino said, suddenly realizing his mistake and wishing he hadn't brought it up because now, he really wanted Tsuna's possessions to stay where they were at his place, even if he would have more space when Tsuna took his things back.
"Okay," Tsuna said, looking thoughtful.
"I'll just…" Dino shifted back, pointing a thumb to the doors. "I'll go now."
"Alright."
Dino felt silly. He didn't know why he came in the first place.
"Dino-san?" Tsuna's voice had Dino whipping back, heart in his throat, hopeful.
"Yes?"
"I'll pick up my things this weekend," said Tsuna. "I wouldn't want them in your way."
"It's really alright," said Dino. "You don't have to-they're not in my way, really."
"Don't worry, I'll clear them out."
"No, you don't have to," Dino protested, wanting very much for Tsuna's things to stay as they were because-
….because…he….
"Never mind," Dino shook his head, feeling embarrassed. "I'll be there this weekend. You could pick up your things."
"Thank you," Tsuna scratched the back of his neck. "I guess….I'll see you later?"
"Yeah." Dino swallowed the heavy lump in his throat. "I'll see you later."
It was really stupid, but Dino didn't want Tsuna to move his things because somehow, deep in his heart, he had hoped that they would get back together.
Tsuna was coming this weekend. Tsuna was going to pick up his things.
It was really over.
Dino left a message on Hibari's phone.
"Kyoya, Tsuna is coming to my place this weekend to move his things out. If…if you need to pick up your stuff too, I'll be here, so….yeah. Just come if you need your things."
Dino woke up Saturday morning to find Hibari standing by his open window, watching the sky outside.
"Kyoya." Dino rose from his bed. "You-you came."
Hibari turned around. He looked furious. "You idiot."
Dino didn't have anything to say to that.
"Did you talk to him?" Hibari crossed the room in three strides, and Dino scooted back, eyes darting out for the sight of Hibari's tonfas. "Did you tell him to leave?"
"What? No!" Dino protested. He never told Tsuna to leave, but he never told Tsuna to stay either.
"Then why would he want to pick up his things?" Hibari snarled.
"I couldn't stop him if he didn't want to stay!" Dino said. "And you, you didn't think we all could…."
Hibari looked away, and Dino felt his stomach dropped.
"You…you thought we could all get back together?" That was news to Dino. He didn't think that Hibari, who suggested the sex-only thing in the first place, would value what twisted relationship they had. It was only a physical thing for Hibari, wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
"Kyoya, did you think that we could…."
"Forget it," Hibari turned away, walking to the window, and Dino couldn't possibly let him go, not when there was a distinct possibility that they could get back together, that-
Dino leapt out of his bed and grabbed Hibari's arm, and it was almost funny because he had never moved this fast in his life. "Wait."
Hibari jerked out of Dino's grasp. "Don't touch me." Dino reached for him again, but Hibari twisted away, hiding his face from Dino. "No."
"Well, did you?" Dino shouted. "I need to know. Did you think that we could get back together?"
"Yes," Hibari hissed. "I want it. I didn't want just sex. I want us. Are you happy now?"
"I…I don't know," Dino admitted. He just felt…like a coward. Dino didn't dare to ask Tsuna or Hibari to leave, but he was too scared to ask them to stay because if they refused, then he would feel stupid because he would know that he was the only one having feelings, and he didn't want to be the only pathetic one having feelings, and he would be damned if the other two found out that he had feelings when they didn't, and then they would leave him because of course they wouldn't want someone who wanted more than what they could give, someone who was way too old to be asking for special privileges.
"What do you want?" Hibari asked, and Dino had it at the tip of his tongue.
"I…" Dino began, and it should be easy to say it, to admit that he wanted that thing, but he didn't exactly know how to say it, not as well as Hibari did. To be honest, he didn't exactly know what that thing was or whether he really wanted it.
"I don't know," Dino blurted out because he didn't know anything else better to say.
Hibari looked disappointed, and it hurt Dino to look at him.
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