[After taking a while to calm down, Lelouch decides to check his Dreamberry and, unfortunately for him, the first missed call was from his older brother, the one person he doesn't want to talk to, the one person who actually makes him wish Schneizel was still in Somarium.]
Did you think he kept no secrets from you, Clovis?
[1/I promise I'll shut up]forgetsyounotDecember 16 2011, 12:12:29 UTC
[Lulu had been asleep for so long that it's pretty much become routine for Shirley to check the Dreamberry--sometimes just to make sure he's still there, and other times for broadcasts like this. She had not been expecting to see anything of the sort today, just like yesterday and the day before; but she does recognize him--eyes widening, as if she's watching a movie.
For a moment, she forgets that this is simply a dream for him. That these strange phones have this power to show her, for a brief moment what he's seeing. But even when it does occur to her, it doesn't make her feel any better, as she can tell how distressed he is. She's trying desperately to make out who the soldier is that is holding him down, but it's too dark, too blurry. It doesn't matter, though--
Because she can see, she can hear the Emperor talking to him. And his words...she knows what's happening. Or at least, she has a very good guess.]
No...
[...It's the exact same thing Lulu had done to her, isn't it? Erasing her memories, inserting new ones. It's the
( ... )
[2/no really i will]forgetsyounotDecember 16 2011, 12:14:01 UTC
[But is the Emperor capable of such a thing?
It's hard for Shirley to imagine; yet the thought lingers in her mind as Lulu yells, still clearly upset, despite being awake. He doesn't seem to notice her, or anyone else watching. The feed clicks off, and she is left staring at the blackened screen in silence, unsure of what to do. Even though she's regained her memories, she's sure she's just seen something that she wasn't supposed to.
It makes her hesitate. She doesn't want to see him angry, especially not with her. How could she watch something like that, violate his privacy?
...But she can't leave things like that, either. She's got to talk to him. She's got to know he's okay.
[3/3] done <3forgetsyounotDecember 16 2011, 12:15:14 UTC
[...]
Lulu...
[Her voice is soft and cracked, as he appears on her screen again. She's so relieved to see him, and though that dream was confusing for her in more ways than one...it's not important right now. What's important is that he is awake and safe; and if it makes him so uncomfortable to talk about what she'd just seen, then she won't make him. She'll let things go his way. At least...for now, until he's recovered again.]
Thank goodness. I'm...I'm so glad you're awake.
[She forces her lips into something of a smile as she wipes something from her eye; and she lets out a deep breath.
What would sleeping for a month feel like, anyway?]
[Hours have passed since his dream, his past was broadcast for everybody in Somarium to see. It worried him that Shirley and Nunnally could see this and he knew they would eventually call him back to check on him, see if everything was okay, find out more about the dream, or just to welcome him back from the sleep coma that he had been in for the last month.
How could he explain this? How could he possibly tell Shirley that what his father did to him was essentially what he did to her? Who is he trying to fool, though... She's smart enough to figure that out on her own.
Lelouch decides to return her call because he can't avoid her forever, after all. She'll find him, she always does.]
I would have preferred being roused from my month long nap in any manner but this... However, I'm glad I'm awake, too. A month is too long a time to spend away from you, Suzaku, and Nunnally.
[Standing at the window, Dreamberry on the floor near his feet, Lelouch turns when he hears her voice. It is unfortunate that this dream was broadcast, that he had to dream about his father at all, as this particular memory (or any memory involving this man) is something he never wanted to share with anybody else.]
A dream of mine was broadcast.
[With a sigh, he grabs the Dreamberry from the floor and leaves the window, returning to the bed.]
This was something I never wanted to relive, never wanted to share with anybody but you, and, above all else, never wanted my precious sister to know. And for the entirety of Somarium to see it? For Nunnally and Shirley to see this dream, to see that man do that to me?
[He pauses and pounds his fist into the bed before falling back on to the pillow]
I never wanted to see him again, C.C.! That was a day that I never wanted to think about. What that man did to me, what Suzaku did to me... And for everybody in Somarium to see it? I've been in Somarium for over a year and I've never had
( ... )
[ she sits up, looking down at him with a quiet, speculative look on her face. ]
We can't control what happens in this world, Lelouch. If anything, the fact that it happened this late, is almost fortunate. The question is now, what will you do, to those that will inevitably respond?
[ ' Will you use your Geass ' ? Over this? ]
..It's over. Charles is in a place not even I can reach now.
[He looks up at her with an extremely unpleasant look on his face, something that shouldn't come as a surprise to the witch.]
I know we can't control what happens in this world. I'm well aware of that, but I can still be upset that this dream, of all dreams, had to be the one for everybody to see.
[What would he do? What could he do?]
There's nothing I can do but explain what happened should either one of them ask. I've already used my geass on Nunnally and Shirley... but I wouldn't use it over something like this, regardless of whether or not I had already used it. And Clovis? I'm sure he'll see no harm in our father's actions, praising the man's every move, contributing nothing of any actual significance to our conversation concerning the contents of my dream.
[He's thankful Schneizel isn't here, though a bit curious as to what his older brother would say after seeing something like this, after finding out their father was capable of such things.]I know it's over and I know he's gone, but his actions, my actions, Suzaku's
( ... )
[ he's surprised - for a number of reasons - that he's not cursed at too. he does wonder though how being normal translates into a bad thing; Lelouch was fine when he was normal, wasn't he? it's not as if he has any right to say anything; Suzaku can wish with all of his might and (still have to live and want to die more) still never be forgiven, much less forgive himself. Suzaku has always been the flattered fool, and that doesn't change.
(not then, and not now that Zero has no other voice or hand that isn't his)
and it's a wonder that he's see this and know ah of course: he's as hated as that Emperor. and, it's fine; all things considered, if Lelouch didn't hate him, then Suzaku would have room to regret and - and, he doesn't want that. redundancy aside, things have fallen apart enough that forgiving even himself is not an option. (even now he thinks, thank god he didn't dream of his mother and Emperor Charles. small miracles.)
and then, finally: ] It seems like every time I see you, you're angry at something or someone.
And do you blame me? Look at the things I have to deal with on a daily basis, the choices I have to make, and the unfortunate dream that was just shown to everybody in Somarium and tell me that you wouldn't feel the same.
[He pauses, narrowing his eyes a bit.]
I'm surprised that you, of all people, have something to say to me after seeing this dream.
You act like you're the only person in the world who has problems. [ but, then again, why is Suzaku surprised about that? Lelouch is insensitive and inconsiderate and Suzaku should not be surprised.
but he is, and tries to cover it up with a shake of his head. ] No. I don't blame you.
[ ... which. might be a heavier statement (because that's what it is: a statement of a fact) that he thought it was, because he's blinking all the same - now surprised with himself. ]
[ no. no, he really doesn't blame Lelouch anymore, does he?
(he's always blamed himself more than he could ever blame Lelouch. it's Suzaku's negligence, Suzaku's mistakes--) ]
To be completely honest with you, I wasn't planning on saying anything at all - for a very long time, if I could help it. But, then I remembered that it's not quite fair that you get to say something after seeing my dream and I can't say anything after yours.
[ Suzaku does remember; and if Lelouch knows him as well as he may think he does, then he should know that this is the way Suzaku punishes himself. Suzaku hates passionately - and it's no less subdued as it is hidden when it comes to hating himself.
he does regret what he did. but, he can't change the past. ]
[Nunnally watches with a certain horror the dream, and tears fill her eyes. She can't turn away, she can't speak.
Taken away from Lelouch...was that what really happened? Of course, there had been nothing told to her. She had always been kept in the dark, about so many things.
When she sees her brother wake up and get angry, she can't help but jump. She wonders if she should even bother to call him back - it's obvious she couldn't go to his room, since they were separated by stairs.
Useless.
So she does try to say something, even though she's scared and hurting for him.]
Lelouch...Lelouch, is everything okay?
[A stupid question, maybe, but she couldn't think of anything else. There were too many things swirling in her mind right now, after all.]
[This reply is one he knew he couldn't avoid, one he knew would eventually come. Given the contents of the dream, of any dream or message or broadcast he makes, she responds, she always responds and is always concerned because she cares... and he has to remind himself of that.
But, it doesn't make things easier. It doesn't make dealing with this touchy subject any easier.
He knew she would see this dream and he knew she would be upset. Very upset.]
Nunnally...
[He sighs, smiling at the Dreamberry in his hand]
Everything is fine. I'm sorry I've worried you, I had no intention of sleeping the month away, but Somarium had other plans.
[Everything is fine...even though everything was not fine. That dream was not fine at all. That dream...it was so depressing. But he was smiling anyway. He was trying to comfort her, when it should be the other way around.
Why did this always happen...?]
You say everything's fine, but...did that really happen? Your dream, I mean.
[She asks, even though she knows it's very likely to have been a memory. But she's hoping he'll say no. She doesn't want him to lie, but to think that such a thing really happened...]
Comments 34
He does not have any Geass!
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Did you think he kept no secrets from you, Clovis?
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But not something of that nature.
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You're quite mistaken if you think he wouldn't hide something of this nature from you and Schneizel.
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For a moment, she forgets that this is simply a dream for him. That these strange phones have this power to show her, for a brief moment what he's seeing. But even when it does occur to her, it doesn't make her feel any better, as she can tell how distressed he is. She's trying desperately to make out who the soldier is that is holding him down, but it's too dark, too blurry. It doesn't matter, though--
Because she can see, she can hear the Emperor talking to him. And his words...she knows what's happening. Or at least, she has a very good guess.]
No...
[...It's the exact same thing Lulu had done to her, isn't it? Erasing her memories, inserting new ones. It's the ( ... )
Reply
It's hard for Shirley to imagine; yet the thought lingers in her mind as Lulu yells, still clearly upset, despite being awake. He doesn't seem to notice her, or anyone else watching. The feed clicks off, and she is left staring at the blackened screen in silence, unsure of what to do. Even though she's regained her memories, she's sure she's just seen something that she wasn't supposed to.
It makes her hesitate. She doesn't want to see him angry, especially not with her. How could she watch something like that, violate his privacy?
...But she can't leave things like that, either. She's got to talk to him. She's got to know he's okay.
So after a few minutes...]
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Lulu...
[Her voice is soft and cracked, as he appears on her screen again. She's so relieved to see him, and though that dream was confusing for her in more ways than one...it's not important right now. What's important is that he is awake and safe; and if it makes him so uncomfortable to talk about what she'd just seen, then she won't make him. She'll let things go his way. At least...for now, until he's recovered again.]
Thank goodness. I'm...I'm so glad you're awake.
[She forces her lips into something of a smile as she wipes something from her eye; and she lets out a deep breath.
What would sleeping for a month feel like, anyway?]
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How could he explain this? How could he possibly tell Shirley that what his father did to him was essentially what he did to her? Who is he trying to fool, though... She's smart enough to figure that out on her own.
Lelouch decides to return her call because he can't avoid her forever, after all. She'll find him, she always does.]
I would have preferred being roused from my month long nap in any manner but this... However, I'm glad I'm awake, too. A month is too long a time to spend away from you, Suzaku, and Nunnally.
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What is it now..?
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A dream of mine was broadcast.
[With a sigh, he grabs the Dreamberry from the floor and leaves the window, returning to the bed.]
This was something I never wanted to relive, never wanted to share with anybody but you, and, above all else, never wanted my precious sister to know. And for the entirety of Somarium to see it? For Nunnally and Shirley to see this dream, to see that man do that to me?
[He pauses and pounds his fist into the bed before falling back on to the pillow]
I never wanted to see him again, C.C.! That was a day that I never wanted to think about. What that man did to me, what Suzaku did to me... And for everybody in Somarium to see it? I've been in Somarium for over a year and I've never had ( ... )
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We can't control what happens in this world, Lelouch. If anything, the fact that it happened this late, is almost fortunate. The question is now, what will you do, to those that will inevitably respond?
[ ' Will you use your Geass ' ? Over this? ]
..It's over. Charles is in a place not even I can reach now.
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I know we can't control what happens in this world. I'm well aware of that, but I can still be upset that this dream, of all dreams, had to be the one for everybody to see.
[What would he do? What could he do?]
There's nothing I can do but explain what happened should either one of them ask. I've already used my geass on Nunnally and Shirley... but I wouldn't use it over something like this, regardless of whether or not I had already used it. And Clovis? I'm sure he'll see no harm in our father's actions, praising the man's every move, contributing nothing of any actual significance to our conversation concerning the contents of my dream.
[He's thankful Schneizel isn't here, though a bit curious as to what his older brother would say after seeing something like this, after finding out their father was capable of such things.]I know it's over and I know he's gone, but his actions, my actions, Suzaku's ( ... )
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(not then, and not now that Zero has no other voice or hand that isn't his)
and it's a wonder that he's see this and know ah of course: he's as hated as that Emperor. and, it's fine; all things considered, if Lelouch didn't hate him, then Suzaku would have room to regret and - and, he doesn't want that. redundancy aside, things have fallen apart enough that forgiving even himself is not an option. (even now he thinks, thank god he didn't dream of his mother and Emperor Charles. small miracles.)
and then, finally: ] It seems like every time I see you, you're angry at something or someone.
[ he ( ... )
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[He pauses, narrowing his eyes a bit.]
I'm surprised that you, of all people, have something to say to me after seeing this dream.
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but he is, and tries to cover it up with a shake of his head. ] No. I don't blame you.
[ ... which. might be a heavier statement (because that's what it is: a statement of a fact) that he thought it was, because he's blinking all the same - now surprised with himself. ]
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(he's always blamed himself more than he could ever blame Lelouch. it's Suzaku's negligence, Suzaku's mistakes--) ]
To be completely honest with you, I wasn't planning on saying anything at all - for a very long time, if I could help it. But, then I remembered that it's not quite fair that you get to say something after seeing my dream and I can't say anything after yours.
[ Suzaku does remember; and if Lelouch knows him as well as he may think he does, then he should know that this is the way Suzaku punishes himself. Suzaku hates passionately - and it's no less subdued as it is hidden when it comes to hating himself.
he does regret what he did. but, he can't change the past. ]
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Taken away from Lelouch...was that what really happened? Of course, there had been nothing told to her. She had always been kept in the dark, about so many things.
When she sees her brother wake up and get angry, she can't help but jump. She wonders if she should even bother to call him back - it's obvious she couldn't go to his room, since they were separated by stairs.
Useless.
So she does try to say something, even though she's scared and hurting for him.]
Lelouch...Lelouch, is everything okay?
[A stupid question, maybe, but she couldn't think of anything else. There were too many things swirling in her mind right now, after all.]
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But, it doesn't make things easier. It doesn't make dealing with this touchy subject any easier.
He knew she would see this dream and he knew she would be upset. Very upset.]
Nunnally...
[He sighs, smiling at the Dreamberry in his hand]
Everything is fine. I'm sorry I've worried you, I had no intention of sleeping the month away, but Somarium had other plans.
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Why did this always happen...?]
You say everything's fine, but...did that really happen? Your dream, I mean.
[She asks, even though she knows it's very likely to have been a memory. But she's hoping he'll say no. She doesn't want him to lie, but to think that such a thing really happened...]
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