[ he's surprised - for a number of reasons - that he's not cursed at too. he does wonder though how being normal translates into a bad thing; Lelouch was fine when he was normal, wasn't he? it's not as if he has any right to say anything; Suzaku can wish with all of his might and (still have to live and want to die more) still never be forgiven, much less forgive himself. Suzaku has always been the flattered fool, and that doesn't change.
(not then, and not now that Zero has no other voice or hand that isn't his)
and it's a wonder that he's see this and know ah of course: he's as hated as that Emperor. and, it's fine; all things considered, if Lelouch didn't hate him, then Suzaku would have room to regret and - and, he doesn't want that. redundancy aside, things have fallen apart enough that forgiving even himself is not an option. (even now he thinks, thank god he didn't dream of his mother and Emperor Charles. small miracles.)
and then, finally: ] It seems like every time I see you, you're angry at something or someone.
[ he tries, and perhaps he tries too hard - but he still tries, even if his smile is nonexistent for reasons clearer than most. ]
And do you blame me? Look at the things I have to deal with on a daily basis, the choices I have to make, and the unfortunate dream that was just shown to everybody in Somarium and tell me that you wouldn't feel the same.
[He pauses, narrowing his eyes a bit.]
I'm surprised that you, of all people, have something to say to me after seeing this dream.
You act like you're the only person in the world who has problems. [ but, then again, why is Suzaku surprised about that? Lelouch is insensitive and inconsiderate and Suzaku should not be surprised.
but he is, and tries to cover it up with a shake of his head. ] No. I don't blame you.
[ ... which. might be a heavier statement (because that's what it is: a statement of a fact) that he thought it was, because he's blinking all the same - now surprised with himself. ]
[ no. no, he really doesn't blame Lelouch anymore, does he?
(he's always blamed himself more than he could ever blame Lelouch. it's Suzaku's negligence, Suzaku's mistakes--) ]
To be completely honest with you, I wasn't planning on saying anything at all - for a very long time, if I could help it. But, then I remembered that it's not quite fair that you get to say something after seeing my dream and I can't say anything after yours.
[ Suzaku does remember; and if Lelouch knows him as well as he may think he does, then he should know that this is the way Suzaku punishes himself. Suzaku hates passionately - and it's no less subdued as it is hidden when it comes to hating himself.
he does regret what he did. but, he can't change the past. ]
(not then, and not now that Zero has no other voice or hand that isn't his)
and it's a wonder that he's see this and know ah of course: he's as hated as that Emperor. and, it's fine; all things considered, if Lelouch didn't hate him, then Suzaku would have room to regret and - and, he doesn't want that. redundancy aside, things have fallen apart enough that forgiving even himself is not an option. (even now he thinks, thank god he didn't dream of his mother and Emperor Charles. small miracles.)
and then, finally: ] It seems like every time I see you, you're angry at something or someone.
[ he tries, and perhaps he tries too hard - but he still tries, even if his smile is nonexistent for reasons clearer than most. ]
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[He pauses, narrowing his eyes a bit.]
I'm surprised that you, of all people, have something to say to me after seeing this dream.
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but he is, and tries to cover it up with a shake of his head. ] No. I don't blame you.
[ ... which. might be a heavier statement (because that's what it is: a statement of a fact) that he thought it was, because he's blinking all the same - now surprised with himself. ]
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(he's always blamed himself more than he could ever blame Lelouch. it's Suzaku's negligence, Suzaku's mistakes--) ]
To be completely honest with you, I wasn't planning on saying anything at all - for a very long time, if I could help it. But, then I remembered that it's not quite fair that you get to say something after seeing my dream and I can't say anything after yours.
[ Suzaku does remember; and if Lelouch knows him as well as he may think he does, then he should know that this is the way Suzaku punishes himself. Suzaku hates passionately - and it's no less subdued as it is hidden when it comes to hating himself.
he does regret what he did. but, he can't change the past. ]
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