Something seems familiar about this...

[old_man_ganon]

[There is a stone statue in the deserted garden of Hyrule Castle. It is a depiction of a large man kneeling with an expression of exquisite pain and embarrassment on his face. There is a sword in the man's forehead that is not made of stone, almost as if the sword doesn't belong.]

[ooc: Sometime while I was away, xblueswordx  managed to stick

Comments

[xblueswordx]

[A certain someone is pointing and laughing. That's right. POINTING AND LAUGHING.]

[old_man_ganon]

[Not funny, young man. Not funny in the slightest. Oh, if only he could move to kill or maim....]

[xblueswordx]

[Right, if only wishes were fishes--

--then Ganon would still be a big fat rock, LOL. Watch the evil boy laugh even harder, old man.]

[old_man_ganon]

[Infuriating little kid. Ganon recalls teaching him fire magic in a very selfless fashion. And what does he do to repay him? Ungrateful little toe-headed bastard... he didn't even do it to seal away evil. He just did it for laughs.]

[jewel_of_hyrule]

[Jewel, who has long since wondered what became of her sort-of friend, eyes the statue with a mixture of amusement and resignation.]

Well, that explains that. Don't say I never did anything for you, stone-face.

[Though most people would call her crazy for it, she gets a chair on which to stand and, with only some difficulty, pulls the sword free of its confinement.]

[old_man_ganon]

[He is momentarily disoriented -- he's been a statue for a few weeks, now. Gathering his tattered dignity up in the folds of his robes, he turns away from her, glaring sideways.]

That was remarkably foolish of you.

[jewel_of_hyrule]

[She regards him placidly, if somewhat wryly, with the sword held up to rest the blade against her shoulder.]

Well, if that's all the gratitude I can expect, perhaps I should put it back.

[There's a challenge in those dark blue eyes. Go on, Ganon. Do your worst.]

[old_man_ganon]

[His lip curls as he spits:] You expect gratitude? How amusing. [He does not look amused in the slightest.]

You always forget the fact that we are enemies at the strangest times. It would have behooved you to leave the sword there. It would have solved all of your problems.

brief hijack

[jewel_of_hyrule]

Brb, loling forever.

[old_man_ganon]

[...

...

...Wallmasters can... sing...?

If Ganondorf had known about this, he would have set them all to sing in his dungeons instead of grabbing people. It's much, much, much, much more annoying.]

[cyan_princess]

[THIS. THIS IS KARMA.

BRB, LAUGHING FOREVER.]

omg omg omg iconnnn ilu forever

[old_man_ganon]

[UGH THE FISH.

EVEN WHEN HE ISN'T AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, THERE'S STILL FISH.

THIS IS NOT KARMA.

THIS IS AWFUL.]

XXD ♥

[cyan_princess]

[RUTO WOULD BE OBJECTING TO BEING CALLED A FISH IN THE NARRATION OF THAT TAG, BUT SHE IS TOO BUSY LAUGHING AT YOU, GANON. :3c]

See? That's what happens when you're a castle-stealing jerk!

[old_man_ganon]

[GO AHEAD AND LAUGH. GANON'S JUST THANKING HIS LUCKY STARS THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A HAMMERHEAD-HEAD.]

[The King of Evil would have liked to object to the "castle-stealing" part of that accusation, as the castle had been deserted when he'd taken it over and therefore fair game. The "jerk" part, while a little unkind, is patently true.]

[sorcerer_vaati]

[Do his eyes deceive him? He pauses and rubs his eyes, blinking a few times. Surely this is an illusion, yes?

[Someone turned to stone, and not by his hand? And not just anyone, but the great and powerful Ganondorf? This is too perfect. He walks up to the statue, head held high, and reaches out to trace the edge of one of the statue's sleeves with a slender finger.]

Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

You have quite the knack for getting yourself into trouble, don't you, great king? Which hero did this to you, hmm?

[He laughs.]

[old_man_ganon]

[The King of Evil mentally bites his tongue at some of his immediate responses to the sorcerer: "Go jump in a lake" sounded too juvenile, "The blue boy -- I actually had no idea he was one of the heroes; since when do they not wear green?" revealed way too much information, and "Find a way to help me or leave, but stop badgering me" was a thousand shades too pathetic.

So, instead of responding, he contents himself with aiming wave after wave of mental hatred at Vaati.]

[ooc: edited to say OMG VAATI I MISSED HIM SO MUCH XDD]

[sorcerer_vaati]

[Yes, yes, mental hatred. Vaati is quite used to being glared at, so it doesn't bother him. Still, this presents a rather unique opportunity, and he decides to take it. He teleports onto Ganon's stone shoulder, looking around.]

So, this is what the world looks like from on high.

[He raises an eyebrow at the sword.] That certainly looks painful.

[ooc: I've missed you, too, Ganon. <3 <3 <3 Cocky little purple bastard at your service?]

[old_man_ganon]

Yes, you wouldn't know what things look like from any kind of height, would you?

[The insult is only to distract himself from the creepy-crawly feeling of being helplessly climbed on. The King of Evil doesn't respond to the Wind Sorcerer's second trite observation, mostly because it was idiotically rhetorical and partly because asking sarcastically, "Tell me, have you ever had a magical, holy sword stuck this deeply inside your body and kept living?" is a little too unconsciously Freudian.]