Ghosts Of The Abyss: Chapter 29
ZeldaQueen: Because I will, by God, finish this sporking project up before the night is over
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 29
Katherine
It was all a blur to me, yet when I registered where I had gone, I found myself upon a familiar deck, though it was not of the Pearl. Surrounding me were nightmarish creatures, cursed hybrids.
ZeldaQueen: Um, those guys were everywhere. How is that an indicator of anything?
I was aboard the Dutchman.
ZeldaQueen: How did you fail to notice moving from one ship to the other? It's not like there was a bridge to use. Did you teleport?
I withdrew my cutlass just as an officer of the Navy charged towards me, and I parried his attack with one of my own across his throat. He sank to the deck, convulsing as blood gushed violently forth from his neck. I hurried from him, fighting my way across the deck. I did not know where I was heading, but for some reason unknown to me, I knew my destination.
ZeldaQueen: Fantastic. Another Sue with a Deus Ex Machina feeling. Like Zoey Redbird wasn't bad enough. At least she had the excuse that a goddess was guiding her!
The battle grew into a blur once again of metal scraping, gunfire, thundrous roars, and pelting rain. I whirled about, my cutlass still drawn, only to cross blades with none other than the Sea Devil himself. I realized then that I was standing at the helm with him.
ZeldaQueen: You were on the head of a suit of armor? Sounds like a playing board for Mario Party
He stared at me for a moment, as if uncertain of what to say or do.
ZeldaQueen: (Jones) "The Sue's alone and no one will notice. Now's my chance to kill her!"
His eyes widened, however, and he immediately pushed me to the side, just as a stray roundshot rushed past my head, missing it by a scant inch.
ZeldaQueen: ...
That's amazing. That's what happened with Syrena and Philip in On Stranger Tides. Except in that movie it wasn't, you know, stupid
He looked down at me again. "What in the bloody hell are you doing here?"
ZeldaQueen: (Jones) "And why am I talking like I'm British when I'm of a dubious Scottish/Dutch background?"
"I'm...not certain."
ZeldaQueen: (Kate) "This unsigned note gave me awfully specific directions and told me to stand on this "X". Hey, did you just hear a canon firing?"
I rose to my feet. "Thank you."
He snorted. "Your thanks is not needed."
ZeldaQueen: (Jones) "It's an honor to save the life of M'lady the Sue!"
Suddenly I felt a pair of hands grasp me from behind, one arm across my front, while the other grasped a pistol aimed at Davy, his finger upon the trigger. I did not dare to struggle.
ZeldaQueen: Oh of course you don't, because the instant you're in danger and there's a Big Strong Man to save you, you become even more useless than Jiggleypuff in Super Smash Brothers
And yes, I know that's a low blow. Jiggleypuff does have her strengths, after all
"Give me the key, Jones," said a gruff voice from behind me.
Davy's eyes flashed. "I can't be killed simply by a shot!"
ZeldaQueen: And why, may I ask, would he think that this dude is going to try to shoot him? If he was planning on shooting Jones, why would he grab Kate, who potentially could struggle and throw off his aim and make it more difficult to threaten Jones? I mean yes, I know she's just hanging there like a jellyfish, but he didn't know that's how she'd react!
"You can't," replied the voice, which I recognized as belonging to Mercer. "Yet your paramour can."
ZeldaQueen: Lord. This woman is made the center of more deals and wagers than Christine Daea
The cold metal of the pistol pressed against my temple.
"Let her go," Davy demanded.
"Give me the key, and I will let her go."
ZeldaQueen: Yeah Jones, you're rather stupid there. He asks you for the key and then says he'll shoot Kate if you don't, and your response is to just stand there and say "Let her go". I don't think he's going to
With startling, lightening swiftness, Davy attacked, and I was thrown aside in the confusion as the Captain grabbed hold of Mercer.
ZeldaQueen: How does that work? Kate is presumably close in size to Mercer and Jones is all big and clunky with an exoskeleton. Wouldn't Kate have been smushed between Jones and Mercer? Anyway, why wouldn't Mercer shoot her as Jones leaps forward? The gun was already pointed at her temple! I...GAH!
I could not see what was being done, yet, when Davy released him, Mercer sank to the deck in a lifeless heap, his neck bent at an odd, unnatural angle.
ZeldaQueen: Oh fantastic. Gethesemane continues to emulate Stephenie Meyer by skipping the action because her Sue sneezed and blinked at the most inconvenient time. Bite me
"Don't thank me again," said Davy as he glanced at me. "I'm thinking that it's a jinx."
ZeldaQueen: No, she's a Sue. She's naturally a danger magnet
I smiled and embraced him, a gesture which, to my surprise, he returned.
ZeldaQueen: IS THERE A BATTLE GOING ON HERE OR NOT???
"So it is true!"
Davy and I glanced over to find Calypso standing before us, a pulsing, blood-covered object in her hand, while in her other she held a glinting dagger.
ZeldaQueen: Um, how did she get that? Didn't Mercer have the chest if he also wanted the key? How did she get that from the two guards? How did she get it open without the key? How did she know Kate was knocked up but didn't know that she did the nasty with Jones? Why would -
You know what? The Kool-Aide Man is red. There's my answers. They make about as much sense as anything
The heathen glared at the both of us with deadly fury, the dagger poised above the heart in her hand.
"I hold your life in my hands, Davy Jones," she hissed to him. "I control you now. Your heart belongs to me!"
ZeldaQueen: Oh no, joke's on you, Calypso! Gethesemane says that Kate really holds Jones' heart because their love is so Just and Pure and...shit, I'm sorry! *vomits*
I ran from him and withdrew my cutlass to attack, yet she turned her attention to me.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, why is that "yet" in there? That suggests that she ought to have done something besides turn her attention to the crazy lady trying to stab her
By some sort of unseen force, I felt as if I were thrown backwards. I landed upon the helm's stairwell with a dull, sickening thud. Dazed, I slowly pulled myself into a sitting position, then lunged at her again.
ZeldaQueen: How do you lunge from a sitting position?
"If I cannot have you," she declared, "no one can!"
ZeldaQueen: Go Calypso! *whistles*
My attack was successful,
ZeldaQueen: WHAT attack? Kate somehow lunged from a sitting position and then she somehow gave an extremely hammy line after or while Kate was lunging instead of oh, I don't know, MOVING OR BLOCKING KATE? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
and I knocked her to her feet, the heart no longer in her grasp.
ZeldaQueen: How do you knock someone "to" their feet? Do you, perchance, mean "off of" her feet? And considering how the heart fit pretty well in one's hand, Calypso must have a serious case of butterfingers
She possessed some surprising strength, however, and she soon had me against the mast, the dagger to my throat.
ZeldaQueen: So Calypso is knocked on her ass by Kate, hard enough to drop the heart it seems, and somehow is on her feet and has pushed Kate against the mast with a dagger to her throat in one sentence? Gethesemane, your action scenes suck. I mean, your writing in general sucks, but this is particularly bad
I was able, however, to lift my leg and
ZeldaQueen: - pee on her.
What? Don't pretend you all weren't thinking the same thing
kick her in the abdomen.
ZeldaQueen: If Calypso is so close that she could pin Kate and hold a dagger to her throat, how could Kate get her leg up high enough to kick her there? Calypso's legs, I could see. Her abdomen though? Or did Calypso thoughtfully take a few steps back to give Kate more room?
She reeled backward, surprised and breathless, and I soon retrieved both the heart and the dagger.
ZeldaQueen: Which is impressive, seeing as the heart presumably rolled squishily off some distance away and we weren't even told that Calypso dropped the dagger. If Calypso's so powerful, I find it hard to believe that she'd be winded long enough for Kate to have an extensive search unbothered
She was still dazed, but she was able to block me from thrusting the dagger into her heart. She grabbed my wrist in a vice-like grip, yet, by some sort of divine providence, I was able to parry the grip
ZeldaQueen: HOW DO YOU PARRY A GRIP, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ALREADY ARE IN A VICE-LIKE GRIP?
and, before I had registered what had happened, plunge the dagger into her chest.
She cried out with such an inhuman wail that the entire battle ceased, and all fell silent as the warriors paused to stare, witnessing the death of a goddess. The dark skin melted from her bones, beginning with the stab wound and radiating outward, dripping from her as if it were dark water. Her wails still echoing throughout the sea, the storm grew in its fury, the maelstrom growing larger. Her bones began to quiver, her skull's jaw still open in that unholy shriek, and at length she fell backward to the deck, the bones no longer a human structure, but one of many tiny craps that transformed into droplets of bloody water that dripped into the sea one by one.
ZeldaQueen: Right. I didn't break that up because I wanted to have a look at it as a whole.
Kate just killed Calypso. Kate, the self-insert for Gethesemane, just killed the canon love interest of a guy that Gethesemane has perverse lust interest in. And given Gethesemane's track record with her "romantic rivals" in these fics, it's pretty obvious what was up. Gethesemane wanted her Sue to get into Jone's pants as well. She wanted the Sue to be his One and Only. Clearly that couldn't work with Calypso in the picture though, so she took what was a tragic love story and tweaked it to go the way she wanted. So she could be justified in essentially writing herself as killing said love interest off.
You know, I think this might be the lowest she's stooped yet.
In her Sweeney Todd series, she just let canon finish off Lucy and Mrs. Lovette as it normally would have. She just had to have her Sue shed a few tears and spend a few years boning Sweeney to justify him claiming to no longer love either.
In her Phantom of the Opera fanfiction, she killed off Christine before the story began and she could stick her Sue in. She could argue that it was a "what came after" sort of experiment and that it meant nothing.
In Seven Days, she killed off Sarah but had the villain do it. Her Sue's hands were clean, Sarah was kept "good" (argument with the Sue and Jareth aside), it provided Audra with a chance to angst, and she could tell anyone who called her out on it that hey, the Bad Guy did it, so clearly she didn't agree with it! After all, why would the Bad Guy do something she smiled upon?
This though? This is just twisted. She had the heroine of the story kill off the love interest and justified it by twisting the love interest to be so unbelievably evil that it's sick.
On a separate note, I'm pretty sure that Gethesemane meant to rip off canon and have Calypso fall apart into tiny crabs. Otherwise... *snorts with laughter*
At length, the storm ceased into deathly silence, the sky still dark as night. I glanced round to find that Davy was no longer standing behind me, but upon the deck in a lifeless heap.
ZeldaQueen: And why would he have died? The heart wasn't pierced
"No!" I screamed. "No, please!"
I hurried to his side, no longer caring who witnessed,
ZeldaQueen: And why would anyone care, besides the fact that they'd see you weren't paying attention to the battle and get an opportunity to kill you
and knelt beside him, taking his hand in my own. It was numbingly cold, and the rest of his body looked as if it were slowly growing weaker.
He opened his eyes, and I smiled slightly as his startling turquoise met my own eyes.
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* "Startling turquoise". Is that like "chocolate orbs"?
"Katherine," he whispered hoarsely.
I smiled. "I'm here, love. I'm here."
"You've broken the curse," he continued. "After centuries...her tyranny is over."
ZeldaQueen: Two things.
First of all, wasn't Calypso's stupid curse that he and his crew began to mutate? According to this fic, just like with canon, he willingly removed his own freaking heart! Hell, the exact same backstory was given in Heart of the Sea! In no way was it ever stated that Calypso was the one keeping Jones immortal! FAIL!
Second of all, yep, Gethesemane missed what Calypso represented in the movie. Darling, you just showed your ass. For all Kate blathered on about saving the ocean and stopping the colonization of the East India Trading Industry, you just had her outdo them in that all. The entire point, which was also the point that Jack and Barbossa talked about when they saw the dead Kraken, was that as the world advanced, the elements of magic and mystery were fading. The sea was no longer huge and mysterious. The Kraken was dead. The one shining bit of hope in the movie was that the goddess of the sea had returned, so there was at least that bit of magic left to keep the world fresh and protect pirates.
You just had your Sue kill the goddess of the sea. Yeah, that will really slow down the end of the golden age of piracy and the magic of the ocean. Nice going there!
Of course, this all happened because a goddess got in the way of what Kate wanted. In other words, Kate's sense of entitlement is clearly so big that she has no problem offing a goddess to get what she wants. Hey, we already had the scene of the death of the Kraken be a Great Thing because it nearly killed Kate and we can't have that, can we? Kind of implies that Gethesemane things that Kate is more important than the great and legendary and divine beings of the ocean. Can't be that of course. That would be far too conceited for a person to think of, especially since by extension, it would be Gethesemane thinking that she was more important to that world than a goddess and the Kraken *spits*
I could feel the strength slowly fading from him, and I could not help but feel tears stream upon my face as I witnessed this. He gently brushed my tears away with his thumb.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, I suppose that would be the hand with the long tentacle then?
"Don't cry," he said softly.
"I...I don't want you to leave," I murmured. "I can't bear it."
ZeldaQueen: Of course! Who would she have harlequin tentacle sex with?
"You don't need me," he said. "You need your rightful husband."
ZeldaQueen: I suppose not needing a man at all is too much to ask of a pirate?
I could not reply, so strong was the tidal wave of tears. I knew that, in breaking the curse, I had returned to him his mortality. He could not survive much longer; the years were beginning to take their toll.
"I love you, Kate," he murmured to me.
"I love you, Davy," I answered him softly, gently caressing his cheek with my free hand.
ZeldaQueen: *tunes up the World's Tiniest Violin and has at it*
His body stilled, and his eyes closed. I allowed the tears to flow freely down upon my cheeks as I threw myself upon him, sobbing and trembling.
ZeldaQueen: FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHOW A SENSE OF DIGNITY, YOU SPINELESS BINT!!!
And is it just me, or was that a total rip-off of the "death" of Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast?
I did not know how long I lay upon his body, sobbing, but it soon began to wither, and I felt a pair of warm hands gently draw me away from him, despite my struggles. The familiar scent of rum, sea, and pure masculinity
ZeldaQueen: Gethesemane, that description of Jack's scent is stupid and it doesn't get better with age
filled my senses, and I immediately buried my head against him, feeling his arms tighten around me.
"Shh," Jack whispered. "Look."
I glanced up at him, and found him pointing to some sort of bright light across the deck. I looked in the direction of the light, and found Sirena, Davy, now a rather handsome human man, and a little boy standing together; I could see through them ever so slightly.
ZeldaQueen: Oh fuck. Strap in
"The curse has been lifted," said Sirena, her voice an ethereal whisper in the stillness as she came towards me. "I am grateful for all you have done for my husband."
ZeldaQueen: By "all you have done", does that include boning him?
She smiled as she looked at me. "You are a good woman, Katherine Sparrow, and a heroine."
ZeldaQueen: *eyetwitch*
To quote the Nostalgia Critic, that's a lie and you know it
Davy came behind her and placed his hand upon her shoulder, and smiled at me as well, then glanced at Jack, his brows furrowed. Jack gulped.
ZeldaQueen: Why would Jack be afraid? Jones is dead
"Sparrow," said Davy, "that is one hell of a woman you have. Treat her well, or else I will return you to the Locker."
ZeldaQueen: Apparently Jones enjoyed the sex as much as Katherine did. That's the only...erm noteworthy thing I can think of that she's done in this fic
I smiled at him. "I'm certain that is something you need not concern yourself about."
The three smiled at us, and continued up to the helm. Sirena placed her hand upon the wheel, and an almost blinding flash of light enveloped the ship, returning it to its former glory. It was no longer a ghost ship, but a ship nigh matching the grandeur of the Pearl. I glanced around and found that the crew, like their Captain, were no longer hybrids, but normal men.
ZeldaQueen: I'm sorry, I can only laugh at that, because of this wanky quote from Gethesemane
"Johnny should be getting Orlando and Keira's money too, because [...] Orlando really fucked up the FD by turing into the Flying Pansy"
Ignoring the spelling mistakes *cough*turing*cough*, apparently Gethesemane thought that the canon way the Flying Dutchman was released from the curse was more silly than her version.
Let us look at that. Gethesemane's version has the ghost of a Mary Sue, cheesily reunited with the ghosts of her child and husband, instantly fix the Dutchman in a flash of light.
The movie's version has this
That is seriously sillier than the cheesy wand-waving pixie solution?
"It is time you returned to your own ship," said Sirena to Jack and me.
We nodded, and carried out her order. We soon found ourselves back upon the deck of the Pearl.
"We're not finished," I said as I glanced out starboard.
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, so they remembered that Beckett exists
I glanced at Jack, who nodded, and hurried up to the helm. I began to shout orders, and the crew rushed to obey those orders, as I made my way up to the helm to stand at my husband's side.
ZeldaQueen: That's seriously pissing me off, how she keeps going on about how she's always at Her Man's Side
"Prepared for what's next?" Jack asked me, his hands on the wheel.
I nodded. "Yes."
He maneuvered the ship about, and the wind began to blow, impelling the ship forward until we were within range of Beckett's flagship. Jack and I gave the order, and simultaneously every cannon upon the ship was fired, each blow ripping into the hull of the enemy with unabashed fury. Davy and his crew had, it seemed, decided to stay for one last battle, as he gave the order for his own crew to fire.
There was no escape from the violent barrage of cannonfire, and, after only a few deafening moments, there was nothing left of the flagship but floating debris. Jack and I glanced over at our ally, and found that the Flying Dutchman had dived beneath the still waves for the final time.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, you can tell that Gethesemane got bored by this point and skipped over it
(Author's Note: Forgive me for the LONG hiatus, but I've had an intense case of writer's block. Please don't hate me...)
ZeldaQueen: Too late
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Onward to: Chapter 30
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Chapter 29
Katherine
It was all a blur to me, yet when I registered where I had gone, I found myself upon a familiar deck, though it was not of the Pearl. Surrounding me were nightmarish creatures, cursed hybrids.
ZeldaQueen: Um, those guys were everywhere. How is that an indicator of anything?
I was aboard the Dutchman.
ZeldaQueen: How did you fail to notice moving from one ship to the other? It's not like there was a bridge to use. Did you teleport?
I withdrew my cutlass just as an officer of the Navy charged towards me, and I parried his attack with one of my own across his throat. He sank to the deck, convulsing as blood gushed violently forth from his neck. I hurried from him, fighting my way across the deck. I did not know where I was heading, but for some reason unknown to me, I knew my destination.
ZeldaQueen: Fantastic. Another Sue with a Deus Ex Machina feeling. Like Zoey Redbird wasn't bad enough. At least she had the excuse that a goddess was guiding her!
The battle grew into a blur once again of metal scraping, gunfire, thundrous roars, and pelting rain. I whirled about, my cutlass still drawn, only to cross blades with none other than the Sea Devil himself. I realized then that I was standing at the helm with him.
ZeldaQueen: You were on the head of a suit of armor? Sounds like a playing board for Mario Party
He stared at me for a moment, as if uncertain of what to say or do.
ZeldaQueen: (Jones) "The Sue's alone and no one will notice. Now's my chance to kill her!"
His eyes widened, however, and he immediately pushed me to the side, just as a stray roundshot rushed past my head, missing it by a scant inch.
ZeldaQueen: ...
That's amazing. That's what happened with Syrena and Philip in On Stranger Tides. Except in that movie it wasn't, you know, stupid
He looked down at me again. "What in the bloody hell are you doing here?"
ZeldaQueen: (Jones) "And why am I talking like I'm British when I'm of a dubious Scottish/Dutch background?"
"I'm...not certain."
ZeldaQueen: (Kate) "This unsigned note gave me awfully specific directions and told me to stand on this "X". Hey, did you just hear a canon firing?"
I rose to my feet. "Thank you."
He snorted. "Your thanks is not needed."
ZeldaQueen: (Jones) "It's an honor to save the life of M'lady the Sue!"
Suddenly I felt a pair of hands grasp me from behind, one arm across my front, while the other grasped a pistol aimed at Davy, his finger upon the trigger. I did not dare to struggle.
ZeldaQueen: Oh of course you don't, because the instant you're in danger and there's a Big Strong Man to save you, you become even more useless than Jiggleypuff in Super Smash Brothers
And yes, I know that's a low blow. Jiggleypuff does have her strengths, after all
"Give me the key, Jones," said a gruff voice from behind me.
Davy's eyes flashed. "I can't be killed simply by a shot!"
ZeldaQueen: And why, may I ask, would he think that this dude is going to try to shoot him? If he was planning on shooting Jones, why would he grab Kate, who potentially could struggle and throw off his aim and make it more difficult to threaten Jones? I mean yes, I know she's just hanging there like a jellyfish, but he didn't know that's how she'd react!
"You can't," replied the voice, which I recognized as belonging to Mercer. "Yet your paramour can."
ZeldaQueen: Lord. This woman is made the center of more deals and wagers than Christine Daea
The cold metal of the pistol pressed against my temple.
"Let her go," Davy demanded.
"Give me the key, and I will let her go."
ZeldaQueen: Yeah Jones, you're rather stupid there. He asks you for the key and then says he'll shoot Kate if you don't, and your response is to just stand there and say "Let her go". I don't think he's going to
With startling, lightening swiftness, Davy attacked, and I was thrown aside in the confusion as the Captain grabbed hold of Mercer.
ZeldaQueen: How does that work? Kate is presumably close in size to Mercer and Jones is all big and clunky with an exoskeleton. Wouldn't Kate have been smushed between Jones and Mercer? Anyway, why wouldn't Mercer shoot her as Jones leaps forward? The gun was already pointed at her temple! I...GAH!
I could not see what was being done, yet, when Davy released him, Mercer sank to the deck in a lifeless heap, his neck bent at an odd, unnatural angle.
ZeldaQueen: Oh fantastic. Gethesemane continues to emulate Stephenie Meyer by skipping the action because her Sue sneezed and blinked at the most inconvenient time. Bite me
"Don't thank me again," said Davy as he glanced at me. "I'm thinking that it's a jinx."
ZeldaQueen: No, she's a Sue. She's naturally a danger magnet
I smiled and embraced him, a gesture which, to my surprise, he returned.
ZeldaQueen: IS THERE A BATTLE GOING ON HERE OR NOT???
"So it is true!"
Davy and I glanced over to find Calypso standing before us, a pulsing, blood-covered object in her hand, while in her other she held a glinting dagger.
ZeldaQueen: Um, how did she get that? Didn't Mercer have the chest if he also wanted the key? How did she get that from the two guards? How did she get it open without the key? How did she know Kate was knocked up but didn't know that she did the nasty with Jones? Why would -
You know what? The Kool-Aide Man is red. There's my answers. They make about as much sense as anything
The heathen glared at the both of us with deadly fury, the dagger poised above the heart in her hand.
"I hold your life in my hands, Davy Jones," she hissed to him. "I control you now. Your heart belongs to me!"
ZeldaQueen: Oh no, joke's on you, Calypso! Gethesemane says that Kate really holds Jones' heart because their love is so Just and Pure and...shit, I'm sorry! *vomits*
I ran from him and withdrew my cutlass to attack, yet she turned her attention to me.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, why is that "yet" in there? That suggests that she ought to have done something besides turn her attention to the crazy lady trying to stab her
By some sort of unseen force, I felt as if I were thrown backwards. I landed upon the helm's stairwell with a dull, sickening thud. Dazed, I slowly pulled myself into a sitting position, then lunged at her again.
ZeldaQueen: How do you lunge from a sitting position?
"If I cannot have you," she declared, "no one can!"
ZeldaQueen: Go Calypso! *whistles*
My attack was successful,
ZeldaQueen: WHAT attack? Kate somehow lunged from a sitting position and then she somehow gave an extremely hammy line after or while Kate was lunging instead of oh, I don't know, MOVING OR BLOCKING KATE? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
and I knocked her to her feet, the heart no longer in her grasp.
ZeldaQueen: How do you knock someone "to" their feet? Do you, perchance, mean "off of" her feet? And considering how the heart fit pretty well in one's hand, Calypso must have a serious case of butterfingers
She possessed some surprising strength, however, and she soon had me against the mast, the dagger to my throat.
ZeldaQueen: So Calypso is knocked on her ass by Kate, hard enough to drop the heart it seems, and somehow is on her feet and has pushed Kate against the mast with a dagger to her throat in one sentence? Gethesemane, your action scenes suck. I mean, your writing in general sucks, but this is particularly bad
I was able, however, to lift my leg and
ZeldaQueen: - pee on her.
What? Don't pretend you all weren't thinking the same thing
kick her in the abdomen.
ZeldaQueen: If Calypso is so close that she could pin Kate and hold a dagger to her throat, how could Kate get her leg up high enough to kick her there? Calypso's legs, I could see. Her abdomen though? Or did Calypso thoughtfully take a few steps back to give Kate more room?
She reeled backward, surprised and breathless, and I soon retrieved both the heart and the dagger.
ZeldaQueen: Which is impressive, seeing as the heart presumably rolled squishily off some distance away and we weren't even told that Calypso dropped the dagger. If Calypso's so powerful, I find it hard to believe that she'd be winded long enough for Kate to have an extensive search unbothered
She was still dazed, but she was able to block me from thrusting the dagger into her heart. She grabbed my wrist in a vice-like grip, yet, by some sort of divine providence, I was able to parry the grip
ZeldaQueen: HOW DO YOU PARRY A GRIP, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ALREADY ARE IN A VICE-LIKE GRIP?
and, before I had registered what had happened, plunge the dagger into her chest.
She cried out with such an inhuman wail that the entire battle ceased, and all fell silent as the warriors paused to stare, witnessing the death of a goddess. The dark skin melted from her bones, beginning with the stab wound and radiating outward, dripping from her as if it were dark water. Her wails still echoing throughout the sea, the storm grew in its fury, the maelstrom growing larger. Her bones began to quiver, her skull's jaw still open in that unholy shriek, and at length she fell backward to the deck, the bones no longer a human structure, but one of many tiny craps that transformed into droplets of bloody water that dripped into the sea one by one.
ZeldaQueen: Right. I didn't break that up because I wanted to have a look at it as a whole.
Kate just killed Calypso. Kate, the self-insert for Gethesemane, just killed the canon love interest of a guy that Gethesemane has perverse lust interest in. And given Gethesemane's track record with her "romantic rivals" in these fics, it's pretty obvious what was up. Gethesemane wanted her Sue to get into Jone's pants as well. She wanted the Sue to be his One and Only. Clearly that couldn't work with Calypso in the picture though, so she took what was a tragic love story and tweaked it to go the way she wanted. So she could be justified in essentially writing herself as killing said love interest off.
You know, I think this might be the lowest she's stooped yet.
In her Sweeney Todd series, she just let canon finish off Lucy and Mrs. Lovette as it normally would have. She just had to have her Sue shed a few tears and spend a few years boning Sweeney to justify him claiming to no longer love either.
In her Phantom of the Opera fanfiction, she killed off Christine before the story began and she could stick her Sue in. She could argue that it was a "what came after" sort of experiment and that it meant nothing.
In Seven Days, she killed off Sarah but had the villain do it. Her Sue's hands were clean, Sarah was kept "good" (argument with the Sue and Jareth aside), it provided Audra with a chance to angst, and she could tell anyone who called her out on it that hey, the Bad Guy did it, so clearly she didn't agree with it! After all, why would the Bad Guy do something she smiled upon?
This though? This is just twisted. She had the heroine of the story kill off the love interest and justified it by twisting the love interest to be so unbelievably evil that it's sick.
On a separate note, I'm pretty sure that Gethesemane meant to rip off canon and have Calypso fall apart into tiny crabs. Otherwise... *snorts with laughter*
At length, the storm ceased into deathly silence, the sky still dark as night. I glanced round to find that Davy was no longer standing behind me, but upon the deck in a lifeless heap.
ZeldaQueen: And why would he have died? The heart wasn't pierced
"No!" I screamed. "No, please!"
I hurried to his side, no longer caring who witnessed,
ZeldaQueen: And why would anyone care, besides the fact that they'd see you weren't paying attention to the battle and get an opportunity to kill you
and knelt beside him, taking his hand in my own. It was numbingly cold, and the rest of his body looked as if it were slowly growing weaker.
He opened his eyes, and I smiled slightly as his startling turquoise met my own eyes.
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* "Startling turquoise". Is that like "chocolate orbs"?
"Katherine," he whispered hoarsely.
I smiled. "I'm here, love. I'm here."
"You've broken the curse," he continued. "After centuries...her tyranny is over."
ZeldaQueen: Two things.
First of all, wasn't Calypso's stupid curse that he and his crew began to mutate? According to this fic, just like with canon, he willingly removed his own freaking heart! Hell, the exact same backstory was given in Heart of the Sea! In no way was it ever stated that Calypso was the one keeping Jones immortal! FAIL!
Second of all, yep, Gethesemane missed what Calypso represented in the movie. Darling, you just showed your ass. For all Kate blathered on about saving the ocean and stopping the colonization of the East India Trading Industry, you just had her outdo them in that all. The entire point, which was also the point that Jack and Barbossa talked about when they saw the dead Kraken, was that as the world advanced, the elements of magic and mystery were fading. The sea was no longer huge and mysterious. The Kraken was dead. The one shining bit of hope in the movie was that the goddess of the sea had returned, so there was at least that bit of magic left to keep the world fresh and protect pirates.
You just had your Sue kill the goddess of the sea. Yeah, that will really slow down the end of the golden age of piracy and the magic of the ocean. Nice going there!
Of course, this all happened because a goddess got in the way of what Kate wanted. In other words, Kate's sense of entitlement is clearly so big that she has no problem offing a goddess to get what she wants. Hey, we already had the scene of the death of the Kraken be a Great Thing because it nearly killed Kate and we can't have that, can we? Kind of implies that Gethesemane things that Kate is more important than the great and legendary and divine beings of the ocean. Can't be that of course. That would be far too conceited for a person to think of, especially since by extension, it would be Gethesemane thinking that she was more important to that world than a goddess and the Kraken *spits*
I could feel the strength slowly fading from him, and I could not help but feel tears stream upon my face as I witnessed this. He gently brushed my tears away with his thumb.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, I suppose that would be the hand with the long tentacle then?
"Don't cry," he said softly.
"I...I don't want you to leave," I murmured. "I can't bear it."
ZeldaQueen: Of course! Who would she have harlequin tentacle sex with?
"You don't need me," he said. "You need your rightful husband."
ZeldaQueen: I suppose not needing a man at all is too much to ask of a pirate?
I could not reply, so strong was the tidal wave of tears. I knew that, in breaking the curse, I had returned to him his mortality. He could not survive much longer; the years were beginning to take their toll.
"I love you, Kate," he murmured to me.
"I love you, Davy," I answered him softly, gently caressing his cheek with my free hand.
ZeldaQueen: *tunes up the World's Tiniest Violin and has at it*
His body stilled, and his eyes closed. I allowed the tears to flow freely down upon my cheeks as I threw myself upon him, sobbing and trembling.
ZeldaQueen: FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHOW A SENSE OF DIGNITY, YOU SPINELESS BINT!!!
And is it just me, or was that a total rip-off of the "death" of Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast?
I did not know how long I lay upon his body, sobbing, but it soon began to wither, and I felt a pair of warm hands gently draw me away from him, despite my struggles. The familiar scent of rum, sea, and pure masculinity
ZeldaQueen: Gethesemane, that description of Jack's scent is stupid and it doesn't get better with age
filled my senses, and I immediately buried my head against him, feeling his arms tighten around me.
"Shh," Jack whispered. "Look."
I glanced up at him, and found him pointing to some sort of bright light across the deck. I looked in the direction of the light, and found Sirena, Davy, now a rather handsome human man, and a little boy standing together; I could see through them ever so slightly.
ZeldaQueen: Oh fuck. Strap in
"The curse has been lifted," said Sirena, her voice an ethereal whisper in the stillness as she came towards me. "I am grateful for all you have done for my husband."
ZeldaQueen: By "all you have done", does that include boning him?
She smiled as she looked at me. "You are a good woman, Katherine Sparrow, and a heroine."
ZeldaQueen: *eyetwitch*
To quote the Nostalgia Critic, that's a lie and you know it
Davy came behind her and placed his hand upon her shoulder, and smiled at me as well, then glanced at Jack, his brows furrowed. Jack gulped.
ZeldaQueen: Why would Jack be afraid? Jones is dead
"Sparrow," said Davy, "that is one hell of a woman you have. Treat her well, or else I will return you to the Locker."
ZeldaQueen: Apparently Jones enjoyed the sex as much as Katherine did. That's the only...erm noteworthy thing I can think of that she's done in this fic
I smiled at him. "I'm certain that is something you need not concern yourself about."
The three smiled at us, and continued up to the helm. Sirena placed her hand upon the wheel, and an almost blinding flash of light enveloped the ship, returning it to its former glory. It was no longer a ghost ship, but a ship nigh matching the grandeur of the Pearl. I glanced around and found that the crew, like their Captain, were no longer hybrids, but normal men.
ZeldaQueen: I'm sorry, I can only laugh at that, because of this wanky quote from Gethesemane
"Johnny should be getting Orlando and Keira's money too, because [...] Orlando really fucked up the FD by turing into the Flying Pansy"
Ignoring the spelling mistakes *cough*turing*cough*, apparently Gethesemane thought that the canon way the Flying Dutchman was released from the curse was more silly than her version.
Let us look at that. Gethesemane's version has the ghost of a Mary Sue, cheesily reunited with the ghosts of her child and husband, instantly fix the Dutchman in a flash of light.
The movie's version has this
Click to viewThat is seriously sillier than the cheesy wand-waving pixie solution?
"It is time you returned to your own ship," said Sirena to Jack and me.
We nodded, and carried out her order. We soon found ourselves back upon the deck of the Pearl.
"We're not finished," I said as I glanced out starboard.
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, so they remembered that Beckett exists
I glanced at Jack, who nodded, and hurried up to the helm. I began to shout orders, and the crew rushed to obey those orders, as I made my way up to the helm to stand at my husband's side.
ZeldaQueen: That's seriously pissing me off, how she keeps going on about how she's always at Her Man's Side
"Prepared for what's next?" Jack asked me, his hands on the wheel.
I nodded. "Yes."
He maneuvered the ship about, and the wind began to blow, impelling the ship forward until we were within range of Beckett's flagship. Jack and I gave the order, and simultaneously every cannon upon the ship was fired, each blow ripping into the hull of the enemy with unabashed fury. Davy and his crew had, it seemed, decided to stay for one last battle, as he gave the order for his own crew to fire.
There was no escape from the violent barrage of cannonfire, and, after only a few deafening moments, there was nothing left of the flagship but floating debris. Jack and I glanced over at our ally, and found that the Flying Dutchman had dived beneath the still waves for the final time.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, you can tell that Gethesemane got bored by this point and skipped over it
(Author's Note: Forgive me for the LONG hiatus, but I've had an intense case of writer's block. Please don't hate me...)
ZeldaQueen: Too late
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Onward to: Chapter 30
Back to: Chapter 28
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