I just realized that He-Man and She-Ra having secret identities makes no sense. Adam is a member of the royal family, and Adora is a traitor to the Horde and known member of the Great Rebellion. Their civilian selves are ALREADY targets of their enemies. The secret identity schtick only means that they have to find some place to hide before kicking ( Read more... )

If you like Batman and are not playing this game, you are stupid (unless it's because you're poor...but even then, learn to shoplift).

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is coming to theaters soon, and having bought Shout! Factory's DVD release of volume one of the first season of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, I have absolutely no desire to see the live-action film. This is because of the following reasons (spoilers ahead, if anyone cares):

( Read on...this I command! )

Ryan fucking Reynolds has been signed to play the lead in the Green Lantern movie.

All I can say is that he had better be playing Kyle Rayner.

I'm watching TV, and a pharmaceutical ad comes on. I'm not really paying attention to it, until one line from the disclaimer narration jumps out and grabs my attention:

Pristiq is a prescription medicine proven to treat depression. Pristiq is thought to work by affecting the levels of two chemicals in the brain: seratonin and norepinephrine. ( Read more... )

I am currently dating a woman who is bi, has already greenlit threesomes, and whose favorite actress hotness-wise is Drew Barrymore.

There is now a statistically-less-insignificant-than-before chance of something awesome happening to me.

Let me get this straight:

My Name is Earl has Nadine Velazquez.

Parks and Recreation has Rashida Jones and Aubrey Plaza.

The Office has Jenna Fischer and Mindy Kaling.

30 Rock has Tina Fey, and sometimes just throws in Salma Hayek.

Does NBC want me to laugh and masturbate at the same time?

TO: Harmonix

FROM: Chris

RE: "The Kids Aren't Alright" released for Rock Band 2

IOU: 1 Blow Job

Rorschach's Journal

March 6th, 2009

Saw Watchmen film tonight. Faithful adaptation of comic book. Perhaps too faithful. Tells bare bones story well enough. Adds nothing. Except for obnoxious, ever-present soundtrack that functions with subtlety of sledgehammer. Good example of dialogue working in print not working when spoken. Impressive ( Read more... )

Just in case any of you (and by "you," I of course mean my fellow Americans) were concerned, in the face of the historic election of Barack Obama, that you would have no more opportunities to be embarassed by your country in 2008 ( Read more... )