SPN/SV Fic: How to Save a Life (6/?)

[xtremeroswellia]

Title: How to Save a Life
Authors: X_tremeroswellian and Shadow_One
Disclaimer: Not ours. Don’t sue. Thanks.
Rating: R for language and violence.
Author’s Note: This story follows two others, the first titled, “Everything Will Be…” and the second, “Sweet Sacrifice.” If you haven’t read those, you’ll be lost with this one.
Author’s Note 2: The title was obviously inspired by the song “How to Save a Life” by the Fray.
Spoiler warnings: Up through and including “Freak” for Smallville and “Born Under a Bad Sign” for Supernatural.

Previous Parts: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight |



He turned to Chloe, "The one and only."

Tears welled up in her eyes and one streaked down her pale cheek.

Crouching down to her level, he longed to touch her face, "Hey, no crying."

"I miss you," she whispered, trying to reach out to touch him.

"I believe we discussed this last night." He whispered back.

Her eyes widened in surprise at his words, her mouth dropping open slightly. "But..."

He smiled, "Yeah, I found a loophole into getting into places I shouldn't be..."

"You would," she said with a half-sob, half-chuckle.

"Hey, can't go on without seeing you."

Swallowing hard, Chloe gazed at him. "You left," she said quietly.

"I didn't mean to." He whispered sadly.

"I know." Another tear trickled down her cheek. She slowly turned to look at Sam, who was every bit as pale as she was.

Following Chloe's gaze, Dean settled on Sam and glared at him, "And you...you are an ass."

His eyes widened. "What did I do?" he asked in confusion.

Dean sighed in exasperation, "And you wonder why I threw sandwiches at you."

Sam shook his head, bewildered. "I shoulda known it was you just from that."

"Yeah, but you've always been slow..."

"It's good to see you," he whispered, gazing at his brother with sad eyes.

"Believe it or not, I've been keeping a close eye on you, little brother."

"I believe it," Sam said quietly.

"So, really, what's with you bringing another girl in here?"

"Oh, come on, man, she's just a friend!" Sam protested.

"Yeah...okay."

Feeling uncomfortable, Chloe shifted her weight from one foot to the other, staring down at the floor.

Standing back up, Dean looked at the salt circle around him, "So, can I come out or...am I in trouble?"

Without hesitating, Chloe reached out and wiped some of the salt away, looking up at him once more.

He smiled at her, "Thanks."

God, she'd missed that smile. That smile that made one of her own stretch across her face. "Welcome," she whispered.

"So a little birdie has been telling me things." Dean said causally.

"What things?" Sam asked, glancing at Chloe and then back at the apparition of his brother.

"Oh, the fact that someone scared the *hell* out of another someone by not leaving the house when he shoulda."

"Oh come on, Dean. You woulda done the same thing!" he protested.

Dean held a hand up, "Well, you were just being stupid."

He snorted, folding his arms across his chest in a defensive posture before remembering what was going on. "Well, you scared the hell out of everyone by moving glasses through the air."

"I was just helping...though I knew something like that was going to happen." He smiled, "Speaking of everyone..." He turned in a full circle, "Where's Matthew and Michael?"

"I took them next door," Chloe whispered, rubbing her forehead. "We thought...well, that you were evil."

"Yeah, I know." He said, smiling, "It's all good. You were just being cautious."

"I should go get them." She rose to her feet.

Dean nodded, "That'd be cool. Oh, and Chloe?"

"Yeah?" She gazed at him intently.

"Michael's new friend...don't worry about him."

It only took her a second to put the pieces together. "It was you all along," she whispered.

He smiled, "Yeah."

Tears welled in her eyes, this time for a different reason. "I'll be right back."

"Hurry back." He said softly.

Nodding, she quickly headed out the front door, leaving the brothers alone.

Sam let out a breath, watching her go before turning his eyes back to Dean.

Dean looked back at his brother, "I'd ask if you missed me but...I think I know the answer to that."

"Man, you have no idea," he whispered.

"Well...I'm here for now."

"For how long?" Sam asked anxiously.

Dean shrugged, "Dunno."

He grinned involuntarily. "Man, we've all missed you."

"I know."

Sam gazed at him for a long moment. There was so much he wanted to say, but didn't even have the words.

Rocking back and forth on his heels, Dean let the silence take over for a minute before speaking again, "Mom...says hi."

He sucked in a breath, surprise registering on his face. "What about Dad?" he whispered.

"I think he woulda said hi...but..." Dean made a face, "You know what? You don't wanna know."

He stared at Dean. "Wha do you mean? Of course I wanna know!"

"Him and mom were all over each other."

Sam stared at him slightly in horror.

Dean laughed at the look, "Told ya."

He started to say something else when the front door open and Chloe reappeared, holding onto Michael and Matthew's hands.

Turning toward the door, he smiled as he saw the boys walk in, "Well would ya look at that."

Both boys froze in their tracks, staring at him for a long moment before looking up at their mom.

Chloe knelt down between them. "It's okay, guys. You know who he is," she whispered.

Matthew shook his head and clung to her.

She hugged him. "Mathew, it's okay, sweetheart," she whispered into his ear.

"But...I'm scared, Mommy." He whispered back.

Torn, she looked over at Dean, and then at Sam, unsure of what to do.

At Chloe's look, Dean walked over to where the three were standing and crouched down, "You know, your brother's talked to me before, Matthew."

Michael eyed him warily, a hint of confusion on his face.

Matthew buried his face in Chloe's shoulder and she closed her eyes momentarily.

Dean looked at Michael, "You can know my name now, game's over."

Surprise flickered over his features. "That was you?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"But...Mommy said you were in heaven," he said in confusion.

"Well, I came back for a while." He said softly.

Hesitantly he reached his hand out toward Dean.

Dean took his hand and smiled.

Chloe's eyes widened in surprise and she stared at Dean, her heart beating quickly in her chest.

"Cool," Michael whispered, his eyes still wide.

Pulling Michael closer to him, he picked him up and stood, "That's exactly what I'd say."

Hugging him fiercely, Michael closed his eyes.

A tear slipped down Chloe's face as she picked up Matthew, meeting Dean's gaze.

Dean hugged him back, "God, I haven't held you since you were a baby..." He looked up at Chloe and Matthew, "And I've never held you."

Sam felt tears prickle at his own eyes at the sight of his brother holding his oldest son. It was a sight he never thought any of them would see, and one he would never forget. "Hey, Matthew. Come here, buddy." He reached out and took the boy from Chloe's arms, pressing a kiss to his head. "This is my brother," he whispered. "Your daddy."

Matthew turned a shy gaze toward Dean, "Daddy?"

Michael smiled at his little brother, one arm flung around Dean's shoulders.

Still a little weary, Matthew still just continued to stare at Dean and his brother.

"It's alright Matthew, I'm not gonna hurt you." Dean said quietly.

"Daddy won't hurt you," Michael agreed quickly. "'member? Mommy said he was the best daddy in the world."

He nodded, "Yeah, I 'member..."

"And Mommy never lies."

Casting one more look at Sam, Matthew moved toward his dad, who quickly took him in his free arm, "Hey there."

"Hi." He said shyly.

Feeling overwhelmed, Chloe pressed a hand to her mouth, swallowing hard. God, she wished she had a camera.

"Camera's in your nightstand drawer." Dean said quietly, looking over at Chloe.

Her eyes widened a little and she quickly moved past them, needing a moment to herself and retrieve the camera.

Looking between his sons, Dean smiled, "So, you gotta tell me all about yourselves. Okay?"

Sam gazed after Chloe, a worried expression on his face.

"Okay!" Michael said with a grin.

"Yes!" Matthew nodded.

"Okay." He put the boys down, "Can you guys hold on for a minute though?"

Michael nodded, looking up at him intently.

Matthew nodded as well.

"Alright, I'll be right back." With that, Dean turned down the hallway and into the bedroom, where Chloe was standing over the nightstand, trembling. "Hey." He said quietly.

She turned toward him, hesitantly reaching out to touch his face. When she made contact with skin, a soft sob escaped her and she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

He responded to her touch, wrapping his own arms around her, "I miss this."

Chloe pressed her face against his neck. "God, me too. So much," she whispered, her voice strained.

He put his face into her hair, "I love you."

"I love you too. I've never stopped...I don't know how," she whispered, crying softly.

"Shhh..." he began swaying back and forth with her, "I know it's hard."

"You have to stay."

"I...can't."

"But you're here," she whispered, shaking her head.

"I won't be here forever."

"Why not?" She pulled away to look at him, eyes filled with tears.

He looked down, "I just...it's not possible."

Her throat burned along with her eyes as she lifted a hand to his cheek again.

He put his hand over hers, "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she whispered.

Leaning forward, he captured her lips in his.

Closing her eyes, she returned the kiss without hesitation. *

The kiss lasted for several minutes, before Dean pulled back, "I've missed that even more."

"I can't believe you're really here," she whispered, unable to pull her hand away from his cheek.

"You need me." He whispered back. *

"Always." She leaned her forehead against his.

"You need to learn to let Sam in." He said, running a hand through her hair.

Chloe shut her eyes. "Dean..."

He shook his head, "He needs you to let him in."

"I'm trying, I just..."

"Miss me."

She nodded wordlessly.

He sighed, "It's been five years..."

"There's no time limit on grieving," she said quietly, looking at the floor.

Reaching out, he began to rub her shoulders, "I know. But you need someone to grieve with."

She rested her head against his as he massaged her shoulders.

"See, the thing about being...what I am now, is I can sense emotions, read things at times." He took what was supposed to be a breath, "Sam's hurting bad Chloe. He hasn't healed at all."

She winced. "I don't know how to help him," she whispered.

"Let him in. It's all he wants." He whispered back.

Drawing in a breath and letting it out slowly, she kissed him softly.

He kissed her back, pulling her close again.

"Ew! Mommy's kissing Daddy!"

A grin tugged at her lips and she turned to see their youngest son standing in the doorway, making a face. "Yes, she is."

"That's gross Mommy." He said, giggling.

Michael smacked his little brother lightly in the back of the head. "Come on."

Matthew brought his hand to his head and glared, "Mommy! Michael hit me!"

She sighed softly, looking at Dean. "Like I said. He's just like you."

Dean grinned, "That's my boy."

"Come here, Matthew. Michael, don't hit your brother," she said, giving him a look.

Michael pouted, "He deserved it..."

Chloe raised an eyebrow and hugged Matthew. "No, he didn't." She looked at Dean.

Dean crouched down beside Michael, "She's right dude. Even if little brothers get annoying, they don't always deserve to be hit."

She cleared her throat and gave him a stern look.

Dean shrugged at her look, "I'm just sayin'..."

She sighed softly. "You know, Michael, one day Matthew may turn out to be bigger than you."

"Don't listen to her." Dean whispered when Michael began to pout. "Just remember, you're always the big brother."

Sam smirked from the doorway. "Yeah, but look who's taller."

"Still older....well, maybe not now...technically..."

The smirk faded off his face and he looked down at the floor.

Dean winced, "Ah...sorry dude. That came out wrong."

"Yeah," he murmured, trying to shrug it off.

"Sam..."

"It's all right." He picked up Matthew. "You guys want me to watch these two for awhile?" He didn't look at Dean or Chloe.

She bit her lower lip.

Dean stood up, "Actually...You and me need to talk."

"I agree," Chloe said quickly, taking Michael's hand. "And these two need to clean up their room."

Both boys groaned at that.

She rolled her eyes. "I know, I'm so mean," she teased, leading him out of the room and taking Matthew from Sam.

"You are Mommy." Matthew said, nodding.

"I know." She kissed his cheek. "But one day your future wives will appreciate it."

"She right." Dean piped up, winking at his sons.

Grinning, she turned and winked at him before disappearing into the boys' room with them.

After Chloe had left, he folded his arms and looked at his brother, "Alright, you're telling me what's on your mind, and you're not avoiding this."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "What, *now* you want a chick flick moment?" A smile tugged at his lips.

Dean smirked, "You forget, I can actually disappear."

He snorted. "Sounds about right."

"Seriously, talk to me."

He blew out a breath, glancing down the hallway. The door to the boys' room was shut and he slowly stepped into Chloe's room and closed the door. "What do you wanna know?"

"Well, I wanna know a lot of things. But I'm gonna let you pick out what's bothering you the most."

He shut his eyes, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "It shouldn't have been like this," he whispered.

"It should." Dean said, sitting down next to his brother.

"No, man." He shook his head. "This is *your* family and you're the one who should be here."

"You're my family too, or did you forget?"

"Dean, that's not--"

"Yeah, it is the point." Dean said, cutting him off. "I saved you."

"You shouldn't have," Sam responded, standing up and turning to look at him. "Dammit, they need *you*! Not me, YOU!"

"You're in love with her."

He winced and looked away. "That's so not the point."

Dean tilted his head to the side, "Really? Because I think it is."

"Dean, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about them needing *you* now." He said, sighing, "You love her, and you love those boys."

"And I always will, man. That's not gonna change the fact that you're the one they're always going to need."

"Those boys don't know me like they know you." Dean said, smiling sadly, "They need you the most."

"And what about Chloe?" he whispered, shaking his head.

"It'll be hard, but you know what? She already loved you to begin with."

Sam stared at him in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"I mean..." Dean tried to place his words carefully, "She loved you almost like she loves me."

If his brother had just announced that heaven was actually filled with demons, he couldn't have been more surprised. "No..."

He nodded, "Oh yeah."

He swallowed hard, shutting his eyes as his mind reeled from that information.

"And I know you love her back." Dean whispered.

Sam turned away. "And you're actually okay with that?"

He shrugged, "How can I not be?"

"Because she's the love of your life?"

He looked away, not wanting to show his brothers the tears that had just welled up in his eyes, "Well, I'm not alive anymore. Takes care of that."

Sam flinched, resting his head against the wall. "Maybe we could..."

"You say 'bring you back' I'll kick your ass."

"Make a trade," he whispered.

"No." He paused, "You know what? HELL no."

"Why not?" He turned to look at Dean once more. "Dean...all right you saved me. I got five years I wouldn't have had. But...this..." He motioned around. "This is supposed to be *your* life, man. Not mine."

"Well, five years, for one. And, two, I don't want to trade. Forget it."

"You can't tell me you don't wanna be here with Chloe. That you don't wanna see your kids grow up," he whispered.

Dean sighed in defeat, "I do, but my time's done. It's your turn to live it up."

"Not if we can find a way around this." His voice was quiet, determined.

"Sam. No. I won't let you."

Sam looked away, staring at the door.

"Sammy, look at me."

Drawing in a breath, he slowly shifted his gaze to look at Dean once more.

"It's dark magic. Promise me you won't do it." He whispered.

"Dean--"

"Please. Promise me." Dean's voice became a pleading tone.

He shut his eyes. "I promise." His voice was pained.

Slowly walking over to his brother, Dean put his arms around him.

Tears welling in Sam's eyes, he hugged him back tightly. "I miss you, man."

He pat his back, "I miss you too, man. But you've gotta live for both of us now. You need to."

"I don't know how to do that," he whispered, his voice strained.

"Watch my boys. And make Chloe your girl." He whispered back, trying to keep his own tears at bay.

"Dean..."

He shook his head, "Sammy, don't argue."

"It feels like..." He looked at the floor.

"Like what?"

"Betraying you."

"It's not. I'm telling you to do it."

He blew out a breath, shutting his eyes once more.

Dean ached for his brother. He wished that damn demon had never come into their lives, then they'd both still be alive...and safe.

"Look, I really wish it could be different." Dean offered, putting his hands in his pockets." *

"Me too," he said quietly. He turned toward the door as it opened. *

Dean turned as well and watched as Chloe walked back into the room, "Did you get them to do as you commanded?"

"They're cleaning their room, yes." She smiled faintly and looked between them.

"That's good." Dean said casually.

She was silent for a moment. "I'm gonna...go clean up the kitchen. Someone made a mess," she said with a small smile, looking at him.

Looking down, he scuffed his shoe on the ground, "Yeah...I'll come help."

"It's okay. You guys should talk." She glanced at Sam, biting her lower lip, then quickly ducked out the door again.

Dean bit his lip as he looked back at his brother, not quite knowing what to say.

Sam looked back at him, feeling awkward. "We should go help."

"Yeah, we should."

He was silent for a moment, then slowly turned and opened the door.

Walking through the door, he went into the kitchen, where Chloe was kneeling on the floor, "Chloe...stand up."

She looked up at him. "What?"

"You heard me."

Giving him a look, she slowly rose to her feet, raising her eyebrows.

He smirked as she stood, "Watch this."

Chloe watched with amazement as the sandwiches flew by themselves over to the trash can. "Whoa," she murmured.

"Cool, huh." He said, smiling.

She grinned. "Any chance you can teach me that trick? Would make cleaning up much faster."

"Sorry...trade secret."

"Damn." Her eyes were sparkling.

"Maybe one day." He came closer to her, and held her in his arms.

Closing her eyes, she rested her head on his shoulder, melting into his embrace.

Rubbing her back, Dean said no more.

Sam smiled faintly and disappeared down the hall.

"I don't know how I'm gonna get through his thick skull." Dean sighed, watching his brother leave.

"What do you mean?" Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she pulled away to look at him.

He shook his head, "Nothing."

"Oh, come on. Don't hold out on me now. What's going on, Dean?" she asked worriedly.

"He's just...His mind isn't in a good place."

Growing more concerned by the minute, Chloe searched his eyes. "How so?"

"He's thinking about trading places with me."

Her face drained of all color. "What?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"He thinks this whole thing is his fault...that he should be the one dead." He whispered sadly.

Tears prickled at her eyes and she swallowed hard. She didn't even know how to respond to that.

He held her to him again, "I don't know what to say to him anymore."

Chloe shut her eyes tightly. "What can I do?" she whispered.

"Talk to him."

"You mean talk him out of it."

"That too."

She bit her lip. "What if I can't?"

"You don't want to know." He said, looking away.

"Dean." There was alarm in her voice. "Tell me."

He shook his head, "I can't."

"Why not?" she demanded softly.

"Just trust me Chloe." He pleaded.

She gazed at him. "You know I do."

"Then talk him out of it."

Chloe shut her eyes tightly for a moment. "I'll do what I can."

Giving her shoulder a squeeze, Dean smiled, "Thanks."

She managed a faint smile, then glanced over her shoulder toward the hallway. She just hoped she could get through to Sam.

Sam sighed as he put his arms under his head and stared up at the ceiling. There had to be a way to get Dean back, and he knew his dad had to have some kind of spell or something. As he thought of places to look, he didn't hear the door open, and someone step in.

"Sam?" Chloe's voice was quiet, almost inaudible.

He blinked and looked over at the door, "Hey. Why aren't you with Dean?"

"He's with the boys." She gazed at him intently, her heart beating quickly in her chest.

"Oh." He turned his gaze back to the ceiling.

She bit her lower lip and shut the door behind her quietly before moving over to sit on the edge of his bed, gazing at him.

"Let me guess." He said, not bothering to look at her, "Dean sent you in here."

"He didn't have to. He told me what you were thinking about."

"Ah. Well, I guess that'd be a reason."

"You can't do it, Sam," she whispered.

"Why not? It's not like I deserve to be here." His voice was flat.

Chloe flinched at his tone. "Who does?" she asked sharply.

He finally turned to her, "Dean does. And you know it."

She held his gaze. "And what about me, Sam?" she asked quietly.

"You deserve to be here more than anyone else." He whispered.

"Really? Because if I had just made the trade to start with you and Dean would both still be here."

"And Michael wouldn't know his mom." He said, "No one should have to grow up without a mom."

She winced and looked away. She knew that pain all too well. "Dean saved you because he loves you. Because he's your brother. You even...contemplating this..." She shook her head.

"Michael and Matthew need their dad. Not me."

"And you are the only dad they have ever known," she whispered, looking back at him.

His eyes watered and he looked away, "It's not right."

"Life isn't right, Sam. It isn't always fair, but...I believe that everything happens for a reason." A tear streaked down her cheek.

His eyebrows furrowed as more tears built up in his eyes, "And what reason did Dean have to die?"

"To save you." She reached out and touched his arm. "Maybe to save all of us."

He pulled away, "Whatever."

Another tear slid down her cheek. "Promise me you won't do this."

"Dean needs to be here."

"Sam." She looked at him with fright in her eyes. "There's no guarantee it would even work! You can't just--"

"Why not?" He asked, voice shaking with tears and fury, "Why the hell can't I get my brother back?!"

"Because that's not how it works!" Her voice was strained. "Don't you think I've thought about the same thing a hundred times?"

"He shouldn't be like this. He shouldn't be a fucking ghost that his kids are afraid of!"

She stared at him with tear-filled eyes. "Sam, I know how much it hurts," she whispered. "And I'm sorry I've kept you at a distance. I shouldn't have." She dropped her head.

He sniffed back the tears before talking again, "I'm fine. You did what you had to do."

"You're not fine. And neither am I."

"I've got to be fine." He whispered.

"Why?" She shook her head a little.

"I just...I have to."

"Because of me? Because of the kids?" She whispered, looking at him.

He nodded, and looked away from her.

"Sam..." Chloe hesitantly reached out and touched his cheek. "The kids are all right. And you don't have to be strong for me anymore."

He closed his eyes at her touch, "Yes I do."

"No you don't," she whispered, slowly lying down beside him. "I just need you here with me."

"You need Dean."

She shut her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder. "As hard as it was...as much as it hurts...Dean's gone. And I don't think that I could make it through losing you too. Please don't leave me," she whispered, her voice strained.

"You'd have Dean back. It wouldn't make much difference." He said darkly.

Chloe felt fresh tears well in her eyes and a soft sob escaped her.

Sighing, Sam rolled over and pulled her into his arms, "It won't be long. Then you'll have Dean. And you can get on with your lives."

She pulled away from him. "You honestly think...that it would just be okay?" she whispered, her eyes red-rimmed from crying. "That we could be happy at the expense of your life?"

"I do." He said brokenly.

"Well it wouldn't be." Her voice broke, more tears spilling down her cheeks. "That would never be okay, Sam. It would kill the boys if they lost you. Dean wouldn't wanna be here without you." She pressed a hand to her face, another sob escaping her.

"They're still young. They'd forget. And Dean would be fine. He always is."

"I wouldn't forget," she whispered brokenly. "And I wouldn't be fine."

"You'd have Dean."

"You don't get it, do you?"

There's nothing to get."

"I love you." Her voice was almost inaudible.

"You love Dean more." He whispered.

Another tear slipped down her face as she gazed at him, saw the pain and sorrow in his eyes. And she did the only thing she could think of. Touching his cheek, she leaned closer and kissed him softly.

He was surprised at her action, but didn't pull away and kissed her back.

Leaning her forehead against his, she rested a hand over his heart, slowly deepening the kiss, hesitant that he would push her away.

He wrapped his arms more fully around her, sinking into her kiss, not wanting to pull away.

She lifted her hands to touch his face, breaking their kiss long enough to breathe before kissing him again.

His mind went blank at the intensity of her kiss. And for a moment, he forgot all his worries.

"I love you," she whispered against his mouth.

"I love you too." He whispered back, kissing her again.

Chloe shifted closer to him, sliding one hand through his shaggy hair. "So you're not interested in Rachel?"

He shook his head, "She's just a friend."

"I was jealous," she whispered, swallowing hard.

"I know...you had every right to be."

"What do you..." Her eyes widened a little in surprise. "You wanted to make me jealous?"

"No. No." He said quickly, "I never wanted to make you jealous."

A smile touched her lips.

Sighing, Sam sat up, "You should go be with Dean."

"Only if you come with me," she whispered, gazing at him intently.

He shook his head, "No, you two need time alone."

Chloe dropped her head once more, hurt washing over her. Hurt she knew she didn't have a right to feel. It wasn't like Sam had any reason to believe her. She'd kept him at arm's length for almost the entire length of their relationship.

"Go have fun, I'll be out for dinner."

Tears stung her eyes and she slowly rose to her feet, heading for the door with slumped shoulders.

As Chloe walked out the door, Sam went to grab his dad's journal. Her talk hadn't done much to change his resolve, and he'd sure as hell find a way to make this all right again.