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Grieving
Last night I dreamed of babies who were supposed to be mine and Jake's. I had 2 girls and 1 boy with chubby cheeks, blue eyes and beautiful blonde curls, like God had already made their little souls and were just waiting to be born. It was so real and it BROKE my heart. This morning I got into the shower and held my belly and my heart and cried ( Read more... ) -
I'm that creepy person in the bar.
I love this bar. I spent a lot of time drinking underage here.
I had a phone date with Shawn tonight and wanted to be somewhere where I'd be comfortable. Now I'm that creepy person sitting in a Booth by herself, playing on her phone. There's been so many changes recently that I can't properly make an update from my phone. my next post will be ( Read more... ) -
Sir Veye
PAST ( Read more... ) -
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Can we change the "mood" setting to ask how many glasses of wine I've had? -
Bringing back the ElJay
So I'm bringing back the old Livejournal. I've been traveling around a lot for work (long story that I'm sure I'll get into later), which I feel has put my life on hold. Feels like I'm in neutral. But then I got on this awesome drug, lexapro, so not any more! I wanna do stuff. But I don't want any passengers. If I'm driving I'm riding alone ( Read more... ) -
i'm becoming disillusioned...
and i'm realizing that i need to make a big change, and i'm almost ready to do it. i just need courage, which is something i never thought i lacked. it takes a hellofalot of courage to do something that's going to hurt you and someone else so bad at first, but that you know will be better in the end. i just have to keep on teling myself that ( Read more... ) -
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these past few days have not been good days for school. I've only been to 2 classes so far. I've yet to find my German class, or a decent parking spot. So, this morning I drove around trying to find a place to park, following other cars to steal their ideas when low and behold! a lot with spaces! then, i realized i had no idea where i was. I ( Read more... ) -
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I feel like i have no voice. Like I'm screaming, but no one can hear me. Why can't people be straight forward with things? Just fucking say what you mean, what you want, whatever. A lie of omission is still a lie ( Read more... ) -
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First, I just want to say that I don't know why Gavin's telling you these things, Krystle, but they're not true. I dont know how to get in touch with you, but i've tried all the numbers that i had as soon as i found out what happened. Its a fucked up situation, and I wasn't taking sides. I've left you other messages, so this is all i'm putting ( Read more... ) -
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how can we learn if not by mistake? one's told that the fire is hot, can feel the heat rising from the surface, but is it really as bad as it seems? to others maybe, but to me? we're told and told what's right and what's wrong but how will we ever learn if we never gain experience? without firsthand knowledge everything else is hear-say. Oscar ( Read more... )