turns out i can't sleep at night anymore. at this juncture in my life, i really need someone to talk to if im going home alone, and yet all i have is a drunk, belligerent asshole who just wants to 'fuck shit up'. awesome. and i can't be sad about all this because it's of my own doing...even though im doing what i think is right, and yet im terribly ( Read more... )

contrary to any belief, im not happy, im not ok with what i felt like i had to do, i feel utterly alone and i feel like i lost my best friend. i dont know if you can go on without me in your life at all but i can't. im just trying to do whats right, to be fair to someone i love. this fucking sucks.

i am the most miserable ive been in a while and a may serously cut my wrist or buy a shotgun and shoot myself in the head. im not crazy, ive been thinking about it, and these are the conclusions i decided on. that is all

empty and cold waiting to be told when the warmth will drift and unfold to my wandering eyes and my heart and my soul i just wish i could bring an end to this mold that has crept inside seeming to wait and to hide until the time comes to burst and unfurl on my tongue in a language i've never known but still seem to understand and ill wait for this ( Read more... )

My friends try to live, and they die ( Read more... )

do not know what to do.
do not know how to figure out what to do.
do not want to make a decision i'll regret.
do not want to be unhappy.
i guess these are the things that make up life.

..and i thought i've been doing a really good job of being nice and thoughtful lately. guess not.

i don't quite know what to say, i don't quite know what to do, about anything, or about anyone. this isnt a disguised post about anyone in particular, i just feel incredibly lost and alone. luckily ive got friends (certain ones) who truly love me and rally around me, but i still feel disconnected to everything. i don't know whats wrong with me. i ( Read more... )

everything's groovy man. i must say, things are shaping up.

adjusting. weird. awesome. and weird.