Shadows of the Past

[xena_warrior]

Solan laid on the bed in darkness, trying to fall asleep. But excitation because of the day which has been spend with family was too bright, and he could not relax, continuing to reflect about events that happened today. The toys presented to him, conversations with mum and her husband

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[_call_me_snake_]

Snake had just woke from his own nightmares and the scream pushed him to run up the stairs. A quick glance at his sleeping daughter and he was running for the guest room.

Solan?

Snake threw the door open. He could hear Xena at the other end of the hall. The scream had probably woke her. Snake saw the boy tossing and crying. Instinct took him and he sat on the bed pulling the boy into his arms.

SHhhh... It's alright.

[xena_warrior]

Xena could not fall asleep this night. Conversation with Snake all time span in her head, and she decided to talk to the son alone. Xena slowly went on steps, trying to not rustle. Despite of that confidence which she felt after their conversation, it disappeared with each step. Xena as if felt, as her foots grow heavy. The fear held down her body. Fear and remorses. Yes, she asked a pardon for the son when has met him in Illusia. She wanted to believe, that Solan forgiven her. But one thing still was here. She could not forgive herself. And it burnt her from within

[_call_me_snake_]

Snake loosened his grip in case Solan wanted to go to his mother.

Nightmares, I think.

Snake took Xena's hand gently and held the boy with the other.

[xena_warrior]

She lied, it is a lie, my mum was not able to do it!..
Solan sobbed, still being between dream and a reality.
Xena pulled him to herself and pressed to the breast, calming, stroking his back.
Solan, wake up. Its only a nightmare. We are near to you, and you have nothing to be afraid...
She kissed him on a nape.
Boy opened the eyes still obscured by a recent nightmare and looked at her, obviously not understanding where he is
Tell me, that she has told a lie, mum... However, its no matter. I love you... And I'll wait for you there...anyway...

[xena_warrior]

looks at him thoughtfully
I did not think, that it will be interesting to you to listen to my stories about Borias. Even because I have a habit to not talk about my former lovers. But its not the basic excuse.
She spoke frankly now.
The truth is that I do not like to recollect that time. Hardly it is pleasant to recollect own stupidity, whether not so?

nods absent-mindly, trying to not think about Borias.
Yes, perhaps, we can find more suitable weapon.

[_call_me_snake_]

Snake was very serious when he wrapped his arm around her. You and I both carry a lot of guilt about things we've done. Bottling it all up isn't going to help either of us. I'm here if you want to try and work through things. I don't want to force you to remember the past but I can't understand you without it.

Snake smiled. I think it's worth a try.

[xena_warrior]

I doubt, that my dark past will make your own burden more easy...
Bites a lip, looking to him in eyes some time
All right. Borias was my ally during our campaign on the East. Though we were lovers, I always tried to think of him only as about the ally and the partner. Caesar taught me to separate feelings from reason very well. At least, I thought so then. I believe, we had the successful union.He had numerous army, I had a plan of action and a lot of impudence. I have intentionally seduced him and withdrawn him from the family to realize my plans. With my broken legs I hardly have managed to conquer all these lands alone. Certainly, I never allowed Borias to realize this fact. He was very dangerous man and for certain would take advantage of my weak spot. However, I think, he was clever enough to guess it himself. Borias was ambitious, as well as I, that is why we continued to battle together, even when we have ceased to pretend, that we are madly in love in each other.
She grinned cynicallyI think, we have dumped our masks a

[_call_me_snake_]

Snake smiled listening very carefully to what she said. There is one thing that sharing our past will do. It can help us understand each other, why we do crazy shit sometimes.

I've always told you, I want to know you and I mean that. I hope you want to know who I really am too.