One Word Series:Healing
Title: Healing
Author: x_tired_crazy_x
Sumary: Joel's finally taken a step outside. The sun is bright, the birds are chirping. It's absolutely beautiful. So how come he still feels broken?
Sequel to Sedated.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Sedated
1
2
3-10
I just can't get comfortable when I'm surrounded my strangers. It just doesn't work for me. Sure, I can relax as long as I've got Benji by my side, but sometimes that's not enough. Not when the receptionist at the front desk and checking me out, or when every person that walks by me and looking at me like "Why are you here?" They're not saying it, but I can tell that they're thinking it. Benji and I can't hold hands, but he's standing as close to me as possible so I know that I'm not alone. Well, so I don't forget that I'm not alone. Benji would never leave me. I need to reassure myself of that, especially now that I'm getting better. We were just talking about this last night. Benji admitted that the thought had crossed his mind once or twice. I kind of made him admit it. He started crying, and I felt really bad, but I just needed to know the truth. It didn't make me angry if anything it made me appreciate him that much more for having thought about it and still, he stuck by my side. That shows true commitment and love beyond anything else.
Still, walking around a recording studio is not one of my favorite things. There are two kinds of people here. There are these kids that run around with their arms full of papers and books and other random shit I suppose 'stars' want to get their creative flow going and then there are the people that walk around like they own the fucking place. I suppose they're the managers, artist, singers, producers, whateverers. There’s so many people in the music industry... I don't even know. Paul was talking to Benji about it earlier on the phone, trying to explain the 'biz.' To me, that shit went in one ear and directly out the other. Not that I wasn't listening, but why can't shit be simple. You write a song, you record the song; you put the song on a CD, repeat process and then distribute. Nope, there's got to be copyrights and demos and advertising shit and by the time Paul got to the distribution process I was 5 steps from passing out on Benji's lap and taking a midday nap.
"Hey guys!" I look up to see Billy, greeting us with smiles and hugs. I'm getting used to this whole hugging thing. I'm not so pathetic where I mentally have to freak out. No, I kind of got that under control.
That thought hits me kind of hard. I smile and I think Billy misinterprets it as I’m happy to see him, but it's not like it matters. Either way, Benji's side glancing me... He always side-glances me when I smile. It's like he never wants to miss seeing my happiness. Billy leads us to a door and opens it. Once inside I see Paul sitting in a chair with headphones on. There’s no one else in the studio. Benji immediately envelops me in a hug from behind.
"Don't tell me you were that happy just to see Billy. I might get jealous," he jokes whispering in my ear. I smile wider then I did before.
"Shut up, you know you’re the only one that can make me smile like this," I tell him quietly, still not a hundred percent on the... intimate stuff in front of other people. Benji notices and slowly backs off of me, though he's unable to d so without moving in for a small kiss on the cheek. I place a hand on his face and let my thumb stroke his cheek.
"I love you..." he tells me which is random.
"I know," I reply cockily with a smirk. He shakes his head and shoves me further into the room. I hadn't noticed Paul has taken off the headphones and is waiting to say hi.
"Always nice to see you out and about," he says while wrapping his arms around me.
"I couldn't agree more. It's nice to be out and about." I look back at Benji.
"I couldn't do it with out you," I tell him.
"Yes you could," he assures me. I laugh, because in all honestly. I really couldn't. But I smile anyway. Jesus. What's up with all the smiling... on my part. I’m not used to this. But I can’t say I don’t like it.
"So. Wanna get started. You guys got a lot to learn!" Billy cuts in. I laugh.
"I'm just here to observe, but Benji's all ears," I admit. Billy frowns.
"Fine, fine, fine. I'll let it go this time, but next time you get recording 101, whether you like it or not."
Next time? I look over to Benji with a panicked expression.
"Um..." is all he can think to say.
"What? You didn't tell him you agreed to be the new guitarist?" Paul asks him.
Benji looks down to the ground. "Guess I never got around to it," he answers quietly.
----
I'm trying really hard to catch up! Please review as always! -Jess
Author: x_tired_crazy_x
Sumary: Joel's finally taken a step outside. The sun is bright, the birds are chirping. It's absolutely beautiful. So how come he still feels broken?
Sequel to Sedated.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Sedated
1
2
3-10
I just can't get comfortable when I'm surrounded my strangers. It just doesn't work for me. Sure, I can relax as long as I've got Benji by my side, but sometimes that's not enough. Not when the receptionist at the front desk and checking me out, or when every person that walks by me and looking at me like "Why are you here?" They're not saying it, but I can tell that they're thinking it. Benji and I can't hold hands, but he's standing as close to me as possible so I know that I'm not alone. Well, so I don't forget that I'm not alone. Benji would never leave me. I need to reassure myself of that, especially now that I'm getting better. We were just talking about this last night. Benji admitted that the thought had crossed his mind once or twice. I kind of made him admit it. He started crying, and I felt really bad, but I just needed to know the truth. It didn't make me angry if anything it made me appreciate him that much more for having thought about it and still, he stuck by my side. That shows true commitment and love beyond anything else.
Still, walking around a recording studio is not one of my favorite things. There are two kinds of people here. There are these kids that run around with their arms full of papers and books and other random shit I suppose 'stars' want to get their creative flow going and then there are the people that walk around like they own the fucking place. I suppose they're the managers, artist, singers, producers, whateverers. There’s so many people in the music industry... I don't even know. Paul was talking to Benji about it earlier on the phone, trying to explain the 'biz.' To me, that shit went in one ear and directly out the other. Not that I wasn't listening, but why can't shit be simple. You write a song, you record the song; you put the song on a CD, repeat process and then distribute. Nope, there's got to be copyrights and demos and advertising shit and by the time Paul got to the distribution process I was 5 steps from passing out on Benji's lap and taking a midday nap.
"Hey guys!" I look up to see Billy, greeting us with smiles and hugs. I'm getting used to this whole hugging thing. I'm not so pathetic where I mentally have to freak out. No, I kind of got that under control.
That thought hits me kind of hard. I smile and I think Billy misinterprets it as I’m happy to see him, but it's not like it matters. Either way, Benji's side glancing me... He always side-glances me when I smile. It's like he never wants to miss seeing my happiness. Billy leads us to a door and opens it. Once inside I see Paul sitting in a chair with headphones on. There’s no one else in the studio. Benji immediately envelops me in a hug from behind.
"Don't tell me you were that happy just to see Billy. I might get jealous," he jokes whispering in my ear. I smile wider then I did before.
"Shut up, you know you’re the only one that can make me smile like this," I tell him quietly, still not a hundred percent on the... intimate stuff in front of other people. Benji notices and slowly backs off of me, though he's unable to d so without moving in for a small kiss on the cheek. I place a hand on his face and let my thumb stroke his cheek.
"I love you..." he tells me which is random.
"I know," I reply cockily with a smirk. He shakes his head and shoves me further into the room. I hadn't noticed Paul has taken off the headphones and is waiting to say hi.
"Always nice to see you out and about," he says while wrapping his arms around me.
"I couldn't agree more. It's nice to be out and about." I look back at Benji.
"I couldn't do it with out you," I tell him.
"Yes you could," he assures me. I laugh, because in all honestly. I really couldn't. But I smile anyway. Jesus. What's up with all the smiling... on my part. I’m not used to this. But I can’t say I don’t like it.
"So. Wanna get started. You guys got a lot to learn!" Billy cuts in. I laugh.
"I'm just here to observe, but Benji's all ears," I admit. Billy frowns.
"Fine, fine, fine. I'll let it go this time, but next time you get recording 101, whether you like it or not."
Next time? I look over to Benji with a panicked expression.
"Um..." is all he can think to say.
"What? You didn't tell him you agreed to be the new guitarist?" Paul asks him.
Benji looks down to the ground. "Guess I never got around to it," he answers quietly.
----
I'm trying really hard to catch up! Please review as always! -Jess