"Cleaning" [Xaldin/Xigbar, PG]
Title: "Cleaning"
Pairing: Xaldin/Xigbar
Written For: arson_attrition - finally! T_T
Type: your butt.
Rating: PG (@_@ WHAT.)
"...Dude. What the hell are you doing?"
Xaldin straightened up and flicked a dreadlock over his shoulder. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Destroying my sanity! Disrupting the order of the universe! Desecrating my place of zen!" Xigbar gestured wildly.
"..." Xaldin raised an eyebrow.
"...You're cleaning."
"Yes, Braig. I'm cleaning. How very observant of you." Xaldin tossed a pile of miscellaneous Xigbar-crap onto the bed so he could, you know, see the floor.
"But..." Xigbar flopped onto the bed, on top of the crap. "...but it's my room!"
"Yes." Xaldin rolled his eyes. "I was looking for a book I lent you, and when I couldn't find it by simply looking, I decided to look more thoroughly."
"And that involves cleaning?!!" Xigbar bolted up into a sitting position, suddenly full of energy again.
"Yes, it does!" Xaldin folded his arms across his chest and glared down at the other. "That's the only reasonable way to find something."
"No it's not!" Xigbar realized he was whining, and sighed. "It's... disrespectful. This is my room."
"Oh, and what do you call leaving your clothes scattered all over my room?"
Xigbar had no good response to this. He frowned and looked away. "But..."
"But nothing. Now shut up and help me."
"WHAT?! Why??" Damnit, if Xaldin wanted to expend his energy cleaning Xigbar's room, well that was all well and good... but he damn well wasn't going to help him!!
"Unless you want to come running to me because you don't know where I put your hairties..." Smirk.
"FINE!" Xigbar threw his hands up and pushed off the bed. "I'll help, I'll help! So, what should I do?"
Xaldin gave him a deadpan look. "This is your room. You figure it out."
"But I don't know how to clean!"
ARGH. Xaldin threw a bag at him. "HERE. This is a bag. You put your dirty clothes in it, then we go and wash them. Can you handle that?"
Xigbar thought about saying no, just to see the look on his face, but decided he'd rather live to see another day. "Yeah, sure."
A minute later, Xaldin peered around the corner into the closet. "Are you still - what the hell are you doing?"
"Uh." Xigbar looked up, guiltily. "Reading?"
"I can see that."
"I got distracted." He frowned and tried to stuff the magazine away. "I'll get back to cleeaaaning..."
"You'd better." He turned back to the desk, then stopped. "Why were there magazines in your closet?"
"No good reason..." There were hasty shuffling sounds coming from the closet.
"Right..." Xaldin narrowed his eyes. "Sure. Do I want to know?"
"No." Xigbar poked his head out and grinned. "Unless you reeeaaally want to. Then I'd be happy to show you!"
Xaldin shook his head. "I'll pass."
"Come on! It's much more interesting than cleaning!"
"What, showing me your porn is better than cleaning?"
"Yes! I mean..." Xigbar sighed. "Xaldiiin! Can't you just leave it?"
"No. I still haven't found my book." Xigbar's desk was now clean, functional, and organized. Not that he would ever actually use it...
"Oh, that. I lent it to Demyx."
"You WHAT?!"
"He wanted to read it!"
"...It was a book about the differences in atmospheric conditions between the Land of Dragons and Wonderland. Not exactly the sort of thing that..."
"OKAY, okay, I get the picture! I lost it, all right?" Xigbar was still hiding in the closet. "Don't kill me."
"Well, if you lost it, it's probably somewhere in all this junk, right?"
"..."
"So..." Xaldin pointed out with agonizing slowness, just to rub it in. "If we clean your room, perhaps we'll be able to find it." Damnit, he liked that book.
"Okay, let's make a deal." Xigbar stepped out from the closet, and found himself face-to-face with Xaldin, rather surprisingly. "Er. Hello there. Right, let's make a deal."
"I'm listening." Xaldin scowled.
"We make out for..." he checked the clock on the wall. "Fifteen minutes."
"All right..."
"...And then we clean my room."
Xaldin thought about this. "Fifteen minutes? And then you'll spend however long it takes to clean this mess?"
"Absolutely."
"...Done."
Three hours later, Xigbar pulled back thoughtfully. "Hey, weren't we going to clean my room like... three hours ago?"
Xaldin glared every kind of death at him. "...Don't you ever shut up?"
"Of course n - "
Pairing: Xaldin/Xigbar
Written For: arson_attrition - finally! T_T
Type: your butt.
Rating: PG (@_@ WHAT.)
"...Dude. What the hell are you doing?"
Xaldin straightened up and flicked a dreadlock over his shoulder. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Destroying my sanity! Disrupting the order of the universe! Desecrating my place of zen!" Xigbar gestured wildly.
"..." Xaldin raised an eyebrow.
"...You're cleaning."
"Yes, Braig. I'm cleaning. How very observant of you." Xaldin tossed a pile of miscellaneous Xigbar-crap onto the bed so he could, you know, see the floor.
"But..." Xigbar flopped onto the bed, on top of the crap. "...but it's my room!"
"Yes." Xaldin rolled his eyes. "I was looking for a book I lent you, and when I couldn't find it by simply looking, I decided to look more thoroughly."
"And that involves cleaning?!!" Xigbar bolted up into a sitting position, suddenly full of energy again.
"Yes, it does!" Xaldin folded his arms across his chest and glared down at the other. "That's the only reasonable way to find something."
"No it's not!" Xigbar realized he was whining, and sighed. "It's... disrespectful. This is my room."
"Oh, and what do you call leaving your clothes scattered all over my room?"
Xigbar had no good response to this. He frowned and looked away. "But..."
"But nothing. Now shut up and help me."
"WHAT?! Why??" Damnit, if Xaldin wanted to expend his energy cleaning Xigbar's room, well that was all well and good... but he damn well wasn't going to help him!!
"Unless you want to come running to me because you don't know where I put your hairties..." Smirk.
"FINE!" Xigbar threw his hands up and pushed off the bed. "I'll help, I'll help! So, what should I do?"
Xaldin gave him a deadpan look. "This is your room. You figure it out."
"But I don't know how to clean!"
ARGH. Xaldin threw a bag at him. "HERE. This is a bag. You put your dirty clothes in it, then we go and wash them. Can you handle that?"
Xigbar thought about saying no, just to see the look on his face, but decided he'd rather live to see another day. "Yeah, sure."
A minute later, Xaldin peered around the corner into the closet. "Are you still - what the hell are you doing?"
"Uh." Xigbar looked up, guiltily. "Reading?"
"I can see that."
"I got distracted." He frowned and tried to stuff the magazine away. "I'll get back to cleeaaaning..."
"You'd better." He turned back to the desk, then stopped. "Why were there magazines in your closet?"
"No good reason..." There were hasty shuffling sounds coming from the closet.
"Right..." Xaldin narrowed his eyes. "Sure. Do I want to know?"
"No." Xigbar poked his head out and grinned. "Unless you reeeaaally want to. Then I'd be happy to show you!"
Xaldin shook his head. "I'll pass."
"Come on! It's much more interesting than cleaning!"
"What, showing me your porn is better than cleaning?"
"Yes! I mean..." Xigbar sighed. "Xaldiiin! Can't you just leave it?"
"No. I still haven't found my book." Xigbar's desk was now clean, functional, and organized. Not that he would ever actually use it...
"Oh, that. I lent it to Demyx."
"You WHAT?!"
"He wanted to read it!"
"...It was a book about the differences in atmospheric conditions between the Land of Dragons and Wonderland. Not exactly the sort of thing that..."
"OKAY, okay, I get the picture! I lost it, all right?" Xigbar was still hiding in the closet. "Don't kill me."
"Well, if you lost it, it's probably somewhere in all this junk, right?"
"..."
"So..." Xaldin pointed out with agonizing slowness, just to rub it in. "If we clean your room, perhaps we'll be able to find it." Damnit, he liked that book.
"Okay, let's make a deal." Xigbar stepped out from the closet, and found himself face-to-face with Xaldin, rather surprisingly. "Er. Hello there. Right, let's make a deal."
"I'm listening." Xaldin scowled.
"We make out for..." he checked the clock on the wall. "Fifteen minutes."
"All right..."
"...And then we clean my room."
Xaldin thought about this. "Fifteen minutes? And then you'll spend however long it takes to clean this mess?"
"Absolutely."
"...Done."
Three hours later, Xigbar pulled back thoughtfully. "Hey, weren't we going to clean my room like... three hours ago?"
Xaldin glared every kind of death at him. "...Don't you ever shut up?"
"Of course n - "