Tool's The Grudge has been in my mind a lot lately. It took a few recent listenings to realize how relevant the song is to me. I have a grudge. I carry it with me like a stone. I keep it with that chip on my shoulder. This grudge has become so ingrained into who I am as a person I don't know that I can ever let it go. It has altered my philosophy ( Read more... )

Been awhile since I've been 'round here ( Read more... )

Lately everything has been feeling like a burden. Sometimes I just wanna do my own thing, but obligations to friends, family, and work and such keep what I want on the back burner. I suppose it's an unfortunate part of growing older and actually being mature and responsible. For example, if I wanted to say take a spontaneous road trip to, I don't ( Read more... )

  I like who I am. I am who I am today because of everything I've ever been through. Everything I've ever said or not said, everything I've heard, everything I've remembered, everything I've forgotten, everything I've done. All those things make me who I am today. Which means that my mother is also part of who I am. So should I be thankful for what ( Read more... )

   What does it mean to be an adult? I mean actually an adult, a grown, mature person, not just recognized as one by the state because you have been alive for 21 years. I think truly being an adult has nothing to do with your age, because honestly, some people will never mentally be adults. They are just children in adult bodies. It's fucking ( Read more... )

Once it's gone wrong, it can never be right again.

I think I've finally been able to control my dreams, to an extent that is. Lucid dreaming is when you become 'aware' during your dream but you don't wake up. I had trouble getting to that state for a while. Pretty much any time I would realize I'm in a dream I would wake. Just last night though I had a very interesting dream involving my brother ( Read more... )

Past couple weeks it felt like the stress was catchin' up with me. I had a lot goin' on and it felt for a while that it was snowballing on me. Luckily I've got father who still helps me out when I'm in a bind. Pretty solid at this point as far as things that needed taking care of. And after spending some time with friends at the City Museum I feel ( Read more... )

  I wish I could understand people better. I really do, but I doubt that I ever will. I'm not even angry at this point. I think this is how parents feel when they're past the angry stage and just disappointed with you. I'm disappointed with people. Even some I know. Maybe because logic, reason, intelligence, and common fucking courtesy are part of ( Read more... )

I pretty much knew I wouldn't want to work there very long, but I had no idea how it really was. Working in the pharmacy is like getting repeatedly slapped in the face while someone keeps telling you to just smile about it. I've never been told that I'm wrong so many times and in so many ways in such a short period. Wal-mart customers already suck ( Read more... )