Comments | writing_samsara: [POTC series fic] - KINGDOMS OF THE SWAN, Installment Two, "The Lost"

writing_samsara

[POTC series fic] - KINGDOMS OF THE SWAN, Installment Two, "The Lost" - rated R

Sep 23, 2007 00:00

Series: KINGDOMS OF THE SWAN
Installment: 2/???
Segment Title: "The Lost"
Timeframe: Post AWE
Pairing: J/E, shades of W/E
Rating: R - strong R for sexual innuendo and some nudity
Word Count: 6,238
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. All rights belong to Disney, etc.
Acknowledgements: Many, many thanks and squishes are owed to djarum99 ( Read more... )

potc, kingdoms of the swan, fic, series

Comments 35

artaxastra September 23 2007, 12:07:38 UTC

You show so beautifully that he does love her. That he does enough to give her what she needs, not what he needs, for the second time that day. I hope that he at least found some comfort in her presence. After all, he's not had the best day either!

Your description of the undercity is wonderful, spooky and a bit surreal as all underworld journeys are, and at the same time a vital and real place. I love your description of Jack's room and his things. Of course he has the posters of himself! And his bed is a wonderful warm rat's nest, or perhaps I should say a sparrow's nest. A magpie's nest.

This is wonderful, and I'm looking forward so much to the next part!

writing_samsara September 24 2007, 00:58:46 UTC

So glad that his love of her - a somewhat reluctant/angry/tired love, but love nonetheless - came through convincingly. He's sort of loving her despite himself at this point ( ... )

hereswith September 23 2007, 16:06:42 UTC

It's great to read something new from you. This is wonderful, as always, I love your use of language, you know that, and you write the tension between these two so very, very well, I'm practically holding my breath during those moments.

writing_samsara September 24 2007, 01:00:56 UTC

Oh, thanks so, so much, love! :) I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the tension - it's always such a gamble as to whether the scenes will come off to the audience as they do in my head. I'm glad that it's working.

*squishes*

salr323 September 23 2007, 16:57:51 UTC

Oh, what did he say to her? I am dying to know! Talk about leaving the readers wanting more.

This was wonderful, of course. I adore your Jack, bruised and suffering yet still compelled to help Elizabeth despite his own hurt. *sigh*

This bit I adored: Posters of Jack, describing his myriad crimes and the significant sums offered for his capture, were pinned in uneven rows above the bed.

LOL! Brilliant little detail that rings so perfectly true. Love, love, love. :) More soon?

writing_samsara September 24 2007, 01:05:24 UTC

Hey love! Thanks so much for reading and leaving such wonderful comments! :)

And yay for the posters! I had this vision of Jack stealing them whenever he comes across one, and of course he's not going to toss them out. *g*

As for what he said, I'd tell you, but Jack said I'd have to walk the plank. ;)

More is on the way. I hoping to post the thrid installment this weekend, but it's all going to depend on the craziness level at work. I really want to get a few more done before we close on our house at the end of October, as I know once we move I'll be MIA for awhile.

Thanks again! *hugs*

fried_flamingo September 23 2007, 18:02:21 UTC

Just perfect. You've really captured the complexities of their relationship.

I think though the line that really brought a tear to my eye was her crying for 'her father in his little boat'. For some reason this image is just so sad.

Wonderfully done. Can't wait for more.

writing_samsara September 24 2007, 01:10:35 UTC

"Just perfect. You've really captured the complexities of their relationship."
--- Thank you so much! There relationship has such potential for twists and turns - is so mutlilayered - that I always feel that I've missed some facet after writing a story. I'm so excited to know they read true to you.

And poor Weatherby. AWE really swept him under the rug a bit, and it just breaks my heart to think of him in that boat. Elizabeth was his world, and he really died without closure, without knowing she survived. It's terribly sad.

Thanks so much for commenting! More should be on the way this weekend, hopefully.

vis_venti September 23 2007, 19:16:53 UTC

I am so very happily reading this new story of yours! There is an amazing idiosyncrasy of the characters, quite natural no faking anything, very sentimental and eventually near to one's heart. Well done luv, you 've amazed me once again, not that I would expect less from you.

writing_samsara September 24 2007, 01:13:51 UTC

Thanks so much, darlin! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the series - it's been a long while in the making (at least in my brain).

And I'm super-happy that it seems natural to you. As much as Jack and Elizabeth (and the rest of the cast) can be archetypes, they are so heartbreakingly human beneath that.

Thanks again! *squishes*