Jesus dieted for somebody's sins but not mine

[wringhim]

I live in the cultural centre of the world! It's true!Former Pop Idol winner Michelle McManus is to star in a disco version of the nativity story. The Scottish singer, 27, will boogie on down to Bethlehem as Mary in a panto-style production set to disco music which premieres at Edinburgh’s fringe festival in August.
Would somebody pay me to go see

Comments

[codydan]

Truly, the principal that every user is entitled to an absolutely clean, dry, sanitary, paper lined seat is an inalienable right, and should be in the Constitution...but it's exactly the sort of thing that will never happen in America, and a perfect example of why I despise this country.

[wringhim]

I thought American was a nation of rugged huntsmen and cowboys happy to squat in a ditch. Did George Washington have an electronic infra-red toilet with 3 minutes of recorded speech? Or did he chop it to pieces with an ax?

Clearly you should move to Japan. If that wasn't such a cliche.

[codydan]

Three minutes of recorded speech? Are they instructions, possibly narrated by a celebrity (an American one who's not doing so hot, and therefore has to narrate toilet instruction in Japanese...maybe Kirk Douglass or someone in the Sutherland family), such as in a New York taxi cab?

I've never been a fan of rugged huntsmen, but when I spot some with dirty bottoms, that's the signal for me to move to Holland, or Japan, where boys keep their bottoms neater, but also where they are so sexually repressed that they buy used ladies' underpants out of vending machines.

[wringhim]

The company website suggests you could have advertisements playing while the user is on the toilet, a captive audience I guess, especially if you wait for them to start urinating or whatever before the voice begins.

I have no comment on Japanese people's bottoms. They do like their super electro robo toilets with built-in bidets though.