sold off all my CDs and i still can't find any work and i've been living on top ramen and popcorn for so long i can't feel my tongue anymore Where are all these people my age getting the time and money to pseudo-slum it in Eurotrash clubs and then post on Facebook about all the art openings they're going to? Seriously pissing me off.

Somebody stole my Ralph Nader bumper sticker. Who would do such a thing? I can't imagine it was a politically motivated act. Everybody around here is so conservative that they are generally of the "fine, you liberal idealist wiener, throw your vote to us" attitude. I can't imagine it was the work of some shithead kid because what shithead kid has ( Read more... )

I didn't get exploded from the package from China. It was a boxed set of seasons 1-4 of "Boston Legal" on DVD ( Read more... )

Also, tell them I was a cowboy. I got a package today from China, requiring special pick-up at the post office at 7.15 am, which is approximately the size and shape of a kilo of...something. I am not expecting any mail from China. I have emailed Amazon and asked them if my one outstanding order from them was, for some reason, supposed to originate ( Read more... )

My mom was looking for something in her jewelry box (don't get any ideas, it's wooden and painted pea green) and found an engraved commemorative buck knife my dad bought for me in 1986 (because every five year old needs a commemorative buck knife) and which she wisely stowed away for me. She let me have it now after I convinced her I am now old ( Read more... )

I bought them for my aunt for Christmas, because she will like the pictures, but before I thought that she is a 60 year old woman and does not create her identity out of buttons stuck on hoodies...she'll have to find something else to do with them. If I mention that I bought some buttons/badges at the place where I bought the buttons/badges (www. ( Read more... )

Have any of you actually ever seen a billion dollar baby? It is a dark and spooky night in the soul of Em Dashing. The last two nights I had dreams about dead animals. The first night, it was dead fish: dead sea creatures, little anemone type sea donuts and actual goldfishes all flopping out of there water container, and I could never manage to ( Read more... )

One of the things I need to learn to do before I die is tie a necktie. Today, I learned how to tie a fundoshi. (If you learn better by video, you're in luck.)

I feel very bummed and bored despite the fundoshi. There seems to be nothing else on the internet to capture my attention for any long period of time, or anything in any place that isn't the ( Read more... )

I WANT AL SHARPTON IN THE WHITE HOUSE. I spent part of the day (the part not sleeping, so essentially "spent the day") looking up quotations. The best ones were Mark Twain, and the best Twains were:

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

and

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would ( Read more... )

Apparently Viennese charlatan "psychiatrist" Franz Mesmer "used to put his patients in a darkened room with music playing, then entered wearing a flamboyant outfit and pressed the 'infected' body areas with a stick." I read this on Wikipedia, and I really hope it's true, even though I can't find any way of verifying it, because all books about ( Read more... )