Christmas Lists - Love Them or Hate Them?

[wraithgirl]

I love giving presents. I love thinking about what the exactly right thing would be and then watching the recipient open it. When times are tough, like they are now, this is much harder as sometimes the perfect gift is out of reach financially, but still, somehow, I try my best to find something that will be appreciated. And I like to think that

Comments

[karmaqueenie]

I hate making them myself, as I feel greedy. But if there's someone I know who is going to waste money on something I'd totally hate, because they just don't get it (my mother, for example, has spent my entire lifetime trying to impose her taste on me instead of learning what I like) then I will give some direction. But rather than listing actual items, I might say something like "I like classic swing jazz, ukuleles, antique-y things, and jewel tones. I don't wear sweatshirts or large jewellry". At least it narrows things down for them

[wraithgirl]

Calling the parents is a good policy; it sucks to have to be your kid's Christmas registry, but it works and everyone is happy. Caution with the gift substitutes though - kids want what they want - similar is usually not good enough.

[gmajor]

That's an interesting point. How do you feel about wedding gift registries?

[wraithgirl]

I hate them too, but they are so part of the wedding culture now, they're hard to avoid. Once upon a time, they were needed as the new couple needed to be outfitted for their life together with an 18-piece tablesetting and matching wine glasses - both red and white please.

Now, I think they're Dodos, or should be. When couples marry, they are often blending two households full of stuff and they really, really don't need another toaster.

[mystery_diva]

Great post :) Lists...yeah. There are times when I wish people would give me lists, but overall I suppose they're not the most fun. D *hates* them, including wedding registries. He's the "off the registry" guy. I don't mind registries when they're not over the top. I do wish my mother would a) have internet and b) make a wish list on Amazon. It would be much easier. I agree that it probably is best to have them for kids, because they're so specific about what toys they want* and people without kids really have no idea.

*still a bit bitter about getting a weird pink bunny when I was little instead of the Thumper doll I wanted.

[seal_clubber]

Man, that's the worst. When you want a specific thing, and someone gets you something different but /close/ (by their reckoning). Because then you can't go out and get the thing you wanted, because you already have something close.

And it's a million tims worse, as you said, when you're a kid. "No, it's not a GI Joe like all your friends have, but it's an Action Figure! That's just as good!"

[seal_clubber]

I also dislike lists, for the reasons you specify, and one other bonus hatred factor: my family instantly e-mails one another with messages like "Dibs on the book for Warren" or "I got Don the Wolf Sweatshirt, nobody else get him that". It neatly removes all the surprise on Christmas day; I have already recieved an itemized roster of who is getting what from whom. It blows

[wraithgirl]

I feel your pain. I either have to provide detailed instructions on the item with a list of possible purchase locations or accept that I need to stop being so damn picky. But I can't help it - I like what I like. Once you hit 40, I think, you pretty much have all the bugs worked out of the things you use regularly. You like a particular food, brand of shirt, type of towel or whatever, because you've tried a bunch of others and they disappointed you. *This* one is the best

[seal_clubber]

I forgot to mention that I have been actively punished for not providing a list. One year I simply refused to give anyone lists, and told them to surprise me. My parents bought me a wrought iron frog playing a trumpet; it was designed to go in a garden. The fact that I have always lived in an apartment did not deter them. It came with a note that said, "Well you said to surpise you..."

It was the ugliest thing I have ever owned (even moreso than Bobo The Unfortunate Monkey). It either meant that my parents know me so little that they had literally no idea what to get me, and so got me the first piece of crap they could find, or that they really objected to me not providing them with easy-to-follow instructions on what to get me, and so punished me by getting me the first piece of crap they could find. Either way, lesson learned: I now give my parents a list of things they will never get me (DVDs, video games, cars, etc), with one Reasonable Gift Idea salted in the middle for them to seize upon. Thisyear, a wallet.

[wraithgirl]

I remember that frog. You're right, other than the Jesus nightlight, which was at least kitsch, it was the ugliest thing I'd ever seen.

I think that somewhere your parents and my in-laws have missed the boat on the true meaning of Christmas gift-giving.

What do they do on your birthday?

[starfishchick]

Belatedly ... I like lists. If I don't see people enough to see their bookshelves or DVD shelves, I don't know what they own, and I don't want to buy them something they already have. (And I don't want duplicates so I also make lists of things I want to avoid that.)

I can see why some people dislike them, but I find them useful.