Christmas Lists - Love Them or Hate Them?
I love giving presents. I love thinking about what the exactly right thing would be and then watching the recipient open it. When times are tough, like they are now, this is much harder as sometimes the perfect gift is out of reach financially, but still, somehow, I try my best to find something that will be appreciated. And I like to think that the same amount of consideration happens on the other side: the side of the person who is shopping for me.
Lists take all the fun out of it. Getting a list from someone for Christmas gifts isn't any more fun than a grocery list: toilet paper, eggs, bread, batteries, GI Joe with Kung-Fu Grip... And what if you think of something not on the list? Is it okay to get it for them anyway? And how many things on the list do you get? All of them? Only one?
I have a love/hate relationship - no, more like a hate/tolerate relationship with lists. I have been asked to write up Christmas lists for a long time. My family used them and my husband's family also uses them. Lately though, I have become increasingly disillusioned with these lists.
On the one hand, you should know someone well enough to be able to choose a gift for them that they will like. If you don't, why the heck are you buying them a present? And if it's a family member or friend, shouldn't you be ashamed that you don't know them well enough to find them a gift they'd like without being provided with specific instructions?
But we're all busy and overwhelmed and no one wants to drag themselves around a mall and get something that will be the wrong size or wrong colour or a duplicate. Still, I think a lot of the time, lists create or encourage duplication. So what do you do? Write a *different* list for each person? What a huge responsibility!
And isn't it all inherently greedy? It assumes that a gift is coming, that one is deserved. It *demands* presents. What about naughtly or nice? And what about price-point? For some family members, we now customize these lists, based on price, ease of access and availability, nothing too complex, nothing too personal. (This must be the reason that this year's Christmas list has double A batteries.)
Add kids to this mix and you have a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. Following the Great Telescope Condundrum of 2010, I am terrified of these dreaded lists. What if there is duplication? What if they buy the wrong thing? These are excellent opportunities for GMinor to learn graciousness and tact, yes, but somewhat frustrating for family who *all* want to be the one to buy the PERFECT gift. And it's super hard to teach a 9-year-old the difference between tact and lying when they are being pressed for positive reaction: "Do you like it, dear?" "It's very nice, thank you." "Is it your favourite present ever"? "Well....no."
When there are grandparents and other family who live in another city and who are older or busy or whatever, they may need help keeping up with the needs and wants of little kids, or even big kids. Lists are helpful for this. Who the heck can keep track of how many WebKinz a kid has or what the heck a ZhuZhu Pet is when you're 75 years old? This is where lists can really help.
But duplication is rampant, overgifting in compensation takes over, and pretty soon, Mom and Dad feel like they're generals in the Battle of Waterloo. "No Grandpa, you cant get her that, Auntie Susan is getting her that. Why don't you try the Holly Hobby Paint Gun? No wait, Grandma Major is getting that. What about the Marshmellow Tomahawk?"
So this year, I'd really like some rechargeable double A batteries please. We all would.
(But if you really loved me, you'd pick up that great necklace I saw in the gift shop in October. The one with all the bright colours. Because I've been extra-specially good this year.)
Lists take all the fun out of it. Getting a list from someone for Christmas gifts isn't any more fun than a grocery list: toilet paper, eggs, bread, batteries, GI Joe with Kung-Fu Grip... And what if you think of something not on the list? Is it okay to get it for them anyway? And how many things on the list do you get? All of them? Only one?
I have a love/hate relationship - no, more like a hate/tolerate relationship with lists. I have been asked to write up Christmas lists for a long time. My family used them and my husband's family also uses them. Lately though, I have become increasingly disillusioned with these lists.
On the one hand, you should know someone well enough to be able to choose a gift for them that they will like. If you don't, why the heck are you buying them a present? And if it's a family member or friend, shouldn't you be ashamed that you don't know them well enough to find them a gift they'd like without being provided with specific instructions?
But we're all busy and overwhelmed and no one wants to drag themselves around a mall and get something that will be the wrong size or wrong colour or a duplicate. Still, I think a lot of the time, lists create or encourage duplication. So what do you do? Write a *different* list for each person? What a huge responsibility!
And isn't it all inherently greedy? It assumes that a gift is coming, that one is deserved. It *demands* presents. What about naughtly or nice? And what about price-point? For some family members, we now customize these lists, based on price, ease of access and availability, nothing too complex, nothing too personal. (This must be the reason that this year's Christmas list has double A batteries.)
Add kids to this mix and you have a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. Following the Great Telescope Condundrum of 2010, I am terrified of these dreaded lists. What if there is duplication? What if they buy the wrong thing? These are excellent opportunities for GMinor to learn graciousness and tact, yes, but somewhat frustrating for family who *all* want to be the one to buy the PERFECT gift. And it's super hard to teach a 9-year-old the difference between tact and lying when they are being pressed for positive reaction: "Do you like it, dear?" "It's very nice, thank you." "Is it your favourite present ever"? "Well....no."
When there are grandparents and other family who live in another city and who are older or busy or whatever, they may need help keeping up with the needs and wants of little kids, or even big kids. Lists are helpful for this. Who the heck can keep track of how many WebKinz a kid has or what the heck a ZhuZhu Pet is when you're 75 years old? This is where lists can really help.
But duplication is rampant, overgifting in compensation takes over, and pretty soon, Mom and Dad feel like they're generals in the Battle of Waterloo. "No Grandpa, you cant get her that, Auntie Susan is getting her that. Why don't you try the Holly Hobby Paint Gun? No wait, Grandma Major is getting that. What about the Marshmellow Tomahawk?"
So this year, I'd really like some rechargeable double A batteries please. We all would.
(But if you really loved me, you'd pick up that great necklace I saw in the gift shop in October. The one with all the bright colours. Because I've been extra-specially good this year.)