CM Fic: Empty Allegience. Em/JJ Ch2&3
Title: Empty Allegience
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG
Author: Carly Carter
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Summary: What could be so important that Emily chooses to sacrifice her career in the BAU? Her decisions threaten to shatter the team forever.
Link to the story so far...
Prologue
http://carlyisnot.livejournal.com/4993.html
Chapter 1
http://carlyisnot.livejournal.com/6163.html
And the updates--
Chapter 2. Hotch. “Out of control.”
You had warned the others to stay away, but you yourself, you couldn’t resist putting in an appearance. Not to pay your respects to Ambassador Prentiss, but because you wanted to catch a glimpse of her daughter. You told yourself it was all you were planning. What else could you offer her really? You just wanted to see or yourself that she was ok. And if she was not…? You shook your head- Agent Prentiss would be fine, former agent Prentiss. Had you ever known her not to be?
“You met my mother, Did you like her?” Emily had asked you almost accusingly, challenging you to speak your mind. Tactfully you had replied that the ambassador was an impressive woman. You had gathered from the passionate way Emily had told you her feelings about politics destroying families, that it had not been easy growing up as the only child of ambassador Prentiss. Still, you recognised respect in Emily’s eyes as she spoke of the woman, and her desire to please her mother. And you knew she would be here today to pay resets to the woman who raised her.
There was nothing you could do for Emily, professionally speaking. You’d gone to the wall to protect her this far. The fact that the entire matter had been swept under the rug after Emily had resigned had cost you dearly. You’d called in favours that you’d spend the rest of your life paying back. Straus would not let you forget this one, for a long time to come. Why had you done it? Because you believed in Emily’s innocence? Then why hadn’t you tried harder to prove it? Because you believed she was guilty but that there must have been a reason? Because you liked her? Because she was one of you? You’d done all you could. You would have done more. If she had come to you, trusted you, told you what the hell was going on. You already did above and beyond what was expected of you. Still you can’t sleep at night. That’s the real reason you’re here.
It frightens you, the entire situation. You call yourself a profiler, think you know people, think you understand behaviour, nothing is supposed to shock you. How could she have been guilty of this, and not one of you noticed a thing? It frightens you that your team could have turned a blind eye, there must have been signs. You racked your brain, you saw nothing. But had you been looking? Did you want to be the kind of man looking twice at his team? His family? You’d never needed to in the past. Maybe now was time for a different approach. But you hadn’t wanted it that way
The mess that was left of the BAU team aside, there was nothing you, Aaron Hotchner, could do for her, Emily Prentiss, professionally speaking. Not now. And you asked yourself, aside from professionally, what could you do for her?
You’d been expecting to see JJ here. It was the other reason you’d made the trip. You knew you had no power to stop her. You couldn’t stop them talking. You just hoped JJ had enough sense not to do anything stupid to jeopardise her own career. Maybe JJ needed this, some kind of closure. Maybe Emily could give her some answers. Something that would satisfy her, allow her to move on, allow your team to function normally again.
At the moment your team is in pieces. There is no trust, no collaboration. And you know that without teamwork, even the most brilliant among you is useless. It’s the sharing of ideas, supporting one another, that made your team something to be proud of. You’d feared for what would become of your team, if Emily had stayed. You could not have let things continue, not someone you could not trust right in the centre of everything. You never dreamed her leaving would be the catalyst of total and complete destruction of anything resembling a team, much less a family. If she had stayed, would have been only her to worry about, just you keeping an eye on her. Simple. Now there was no trust, from anyone. Now it was beyond your control.
You weren’t surprised by the incredibly elaborate service, the hundreds of mourners, You weren’t surprised to see you very own agent Jareau inconspicuously hiding in the back row of the chapel. What did surprise you, immensely, was the absence of ambassador Prentiss’ daughter.
Chapter 3. Garcia. “First to break.”
You’re waiting for JJ to return from the Ambassador’s funeral. You can tell she is surprised to find you sitting on her doorstep.
“Well?” You ask tentatively.
“Well what?” She replies coldly, stepping around you to get to your door as if you were a piece of rubbish, an obstacle in her path.
“Did you see Emily?” You ask quietly, looking around as that name slips from your lips. After weeks of being told you can’t talk about Emily, can’t think about Emily, you suddenly feel like you’re committing a crime just to say her name aloud.
“What do you care?” She calls out harshly, not even turning to look back at you as she fumbles with her key in the lock.
Then it hits you- She’s been to the Ambassador’s funeral, She’s seen Emily, She doesn’t need you anymore. You’re of no use to her in her search, and therefore no value to her. Good thing too, you think. After the weeks of silent treatment and harassment, the torture that she made of your every working day trying to beg you, bully you into joining her crusade, making it clear her friendship and professional resect came with that condition, it’s a good thing she has no use for you now. Because that was the last time you were going to let Jennifer Jareau speak to you like you’re a piece of shit on her shoe.
She has her precious Emily now, There was no need to continue to treat you like this. You’d tolerated it for weeks, telling yourself to be compassionate, to understand the way JJ was feeling. You put yourself in her shoes. Tried the best way you knew how to help her through it. How hurt she must be, how powerless she must feel, you got it, you forgave her. Then. But now she had what she wanted, She’d disobeyed Hotch’s orders and gone to the funeral, She’d seen Emily, found her answers. Why was she still taking it out on you? As if Emily’s disappearance was your sole personal responsibility?
JJ had been harsh with the others too, everyone on the team had copped it lately, but you’d copped the brunt of it. Why? Because she considered you closer to Emily and therefore more obliged to help her? Because you were the one best qualified to find Emily? Because she thought you knew something about the disappearance? Because you were an easy target? She though you’d be the first to break? Well you were. You were the one that ran to the bathrooms crying at the way she treated you, crying because you missed your friends, both her and Emily, who were gone from your life. The others grew quickly irritated with JJ and her attitude over the past weeks, learning to ignore her, but you were the only one she had wounded, or perhaps just the only one who showed it.
Jennifer Jareau had single handedly made life in the BAU a nightmare. No, you correct yourself, not quite single handedly. Emily began this, Taking off like that, not a word to anyone, no explanation, no goodbye. Emily could have found a way to let us know something. If she had cared. At all. It wasn’t just JJ making things hard. At least you understood JJ’s part in it. JJ wanted, needed, so much to find Emily. She just couldn’t get it through her head that you couldn’t help her. It wasn’t even just the two of them causing this. How could Hotch really tell you all to just forget it, no information, no explanation, did he really think it would all go away, swept neatly under the rug? Your respect for the man dwindled each passing day as you watched him watching over his disintegrating fragmented team, and say nothing, do nothing.
All you wanted were answers. You didn’t think it was too much to ask.
You think back to the last time you had spoken with Morgan. Last week. It was the first time since the day Emily went missing weeks ago that you’d heard her name come from his lips. He’d found you crying at your desk after another altercation with JJ. Some stupid argument about some printed data that wasn’t in the correct format she had asked for. It was stupid things like that she attacked you with, and you told yourself to ignore it. Told yourself she was hurting and didn’t mean it. But it still got to you, seeing the coldness in her eyes, being constantly criticised for everything you did
Morgan looked at you, and sighed sympathetically. “Don’t cry baby girl.” He said softly, “Come with me.” And he led you outside, away from the office, away from that place, into the sunshine and fresh air, and for a moment things really did seem better. “Don’t let her get to you, yeah? “ He said. He’d said it to you before, many times. Right from the first say he’d found you crying and asked what was wrong. He looked at you like you had two heads when you told him it was the way JJ treated you that caused those tears. “Look JJ is off the planet, she’s talking crap, no on pays attention to what she says about you or your work, don’t let it get to you.” He didn’t understand at all, and it made you miss JJ all the more. Miss talking to someone who understood you.
“It’s not JJ.” You uttered to him this time. Not just JJ, you silently added.
“Then what’s up?”
For lack of anyone else to confide in, and because you somehow trusted him in that moment, trusted the way he was talking to you so gently, the way his arms hung protectively around your shoulders. You told him.
“I miss my best friends.” You said.
“You still got me.” He replied, and you knew that should make you feel better, but it didn’t. Work was unbearable; you didn’t know how much longer you could stick it out like this. And nights you lay awake wondering about Emily, was she ok, where was she, would you see her again, what would happen to JJ? To the team? Could you have done something to prevent it?
“Yeah,’ You conceded. “But I miss Emily.”
He flinched as you said her name. And something in him snapped, you saw it in your eyes. “Forget it Garcia, Forget all of it. Get your mind back on the job. We have work to do. “
“But it’s Emily! You scream at him “One of us!”
He showed no sign of understanding at all.
‘Grow up Garcia, and pull yourself together.” He told you harshly, and gone was the caring Morgan who had his arm around you moments ago. He as good as called you unprofessional. His words wounded you. And you knew the one person who understood your feelings was JJ. The one person you needed right now, needed each other, and she was freezing you out. You couldn’t take it anymore. None of it. Why were you in the wrong with everyone all the time? With JJ because you didn't care enough, with Morgan because you cared too much?
“Take a look at that.” Morgan commanded you, pointing up to JJ’s office, “You wanna end up a fruit loop like that like that? Let it go.”
How you despised him in that moment. You were infuriated, but disbelieving. “I thought we were family. JJ is right, this is shit. If I disappeared one day you’d just tell everyone to forget me, Oh well Garcia is gone who needs her anyway? Garcia who? Nevermind let it go.”
“That’s not what I’m saying” He softened his tone. “This is the last time we’re gonna talk about this, about anything like this, hear me? Trust Hotch, trust me, for everyone’s good, Prentiss included, let it go ok? Prentiss is gone, she ain’t coming back, and all this crazy talk just gets everyone worked up, the team cant function like this. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Let. It. Go.”
You’re not sure why you hit him. The way he looked you in the eye telling you just forget your best friend, with no answers, the way he insulted JJ when you understood exactly the way she was acting, or just the way you felt like everything was burning inside you, and there was no way out. You were angry at Emily for doing this, angry at JJ for treating you like shit, angry at Morgan for speaking to you like you were 5 years old. You hadn’t deserved that.
He stood a moment looking you in the eye as he rubbed his jaw. Your hands were shanking. As if things weren’t fucked up enough. You wondered if he’d report you for unprofessional conduct. You wondered if there was any way back from this point, for you and Morgan? for you and JJ? for the entire team? It takes you a moment to have courage to return his gaze. And when you do, you realise something. Something you should have realised all along. He knows something. Very probably he knows everything. And he isn’t telling you. And in that moment your fury at him surpasses your fury at Emily and JJ combined. You walked away wordlessly and hadn’t spoken to him since.
It wasn’t fair, You’d done exactly what Hotch asked of you, kept everything to yourself. Told JJ over and over the exact thing Morgan was telling you- let it go. And yet Hotch blamed you somehow for JJ’s irrational behaviour, blamed you for the loss of cohesiveness in the team, As if even though you had said all the right words, JJ was feeding off your unspoken desire to find Emily, your unvoiced desperation for answers to the questions. Hotch had called you in the office, asking you to keep JJ in line, as if she was your responsibility.
And yet you did feel responsible. You wanted to keep her out of trouble, wanted to help her to get through this. You were probably the one who came closest to understanding, and she slammed shut every door in your face. Every time. But you still cared, about JJ, about Emily, it was why you were sitting here waiting on her doorstep.
But this was it. She’s pushed you one step too far. Tonight, You’re done with Jefnnifer Jareau.
You get up to walk away for the last time. You try to think of something hurtful to say as a parting remark, to get under her skin the way she has yours. But you’re crying now and you don’t want her to hear it in your voice, convinced by now that she gets some kind of satisfaction from pushing you to the point of tears. If not, why would she keep doing it? Why now when she has what she wants?
“Garcia, wait.” She calls. You stop, but don’t turn around. Not yet. You wait. “I’m sorry.” She adds softly.
It’s the first time since Emily vanished that you’ve heard those words from her mouth. It’s what makes you turn and look at her. Seeing your tear stained face she apologises again “Garcia I’m so sorry. For everything I took out on you, It’s not your fault. It’s her, she did this, I hate her.” JJ exclaims as she kicks over a pot plant, which loudly crashes to the ground near your feet. You inch closer hesitantly. ‘I hate her!” She repeats angrily.
“It’s ok” You tell her. And you wonder if it’s true. It is ok, you do understand, and you’re relieved beyond words that she called out to you before you’d walked away for good. But you think over the past weeks, all she’s put you through, and you wonder, will it ever be ok between you two again? You resent Emily so much sometimes for doing this to all of you.
“I hate her.” She tells you again, but this time she sounds broken, not angry “I hate her so much, and I’m so sorry I took everything out on you.”
You step forward and embrace her and she tells you again and again. ”I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok.” You reply again, and this time it feels like maybe it can be ok. “Tell me what happened? Did you see Emily?”
“Emily wasn’t there.” She finally tells you, and it takes a moment for that news to sink in. Emily wasn’t at her own mother’s funeral?
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG
Author: Carly Carter
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Summary: What could be so important that Emily chooses to sacrifice her career in the BAU? Her decisions threaten to shatter the team forever.
Link to the story so far...
Prologue
http://carlyisnot.livejournal.com/4993.html
Chapter 1
http://carlyisnot.livejournal.com/6163.html
And the updates--
Chapter 2. Hotch. “Out of control.”
You had warned the others to stay away, but you yourself, you couldn’t resist putting in an appearance. Not to pay your respects to Ambassador Prentiss, but because you wanted to catch a glimpse of her daughter. You told yourself it was all you were planning. What else could you offer her really? You just wanted to see or yourself that she was ok. And if she was not…? You shook your head- Agent Prentiss would be fine, former agent Prentiss. Had you ever known her not to be?
“You met my mother, Did you like her?” Emily had asked you almost accusingly, challenging you to speak your mind. Tactfully you had replied that the ambassador was an impressive woman. You had gathered from the passionate way Emily had told you her feelings about politics destroying families, that it had not been easy growing up as the only child of ambassador Prentiss. Still, you recognised respect in Emily’s eyes as she spoke of the woman, and her desire to please her mother. And you knew she would be here today to pay resets to the woman who raised her.
There was nothing you could do for Emily, professionally speaking. You’d gone to the wall to protect her this far. The fact that the entire matter had been swept under the rug after Emily had resigned had cost you dearly. You’d called in favours that you’d spend the rest of your life paying back. Straus would not let you forget this one, for a long time to come. Why had you done it? Because you believed in Emily’s innocence? Then why hadn’t you tried harder to prove it? Because you believed she was guilty but that there must have been a reason? Because you liked her? Because she was one of you? You’d done all you could. You would have done more. If she had come to you, trusted you, told you what the hell was going on. You already did above and beyond what was expected of you. Still you can’t sleep at night. That’s the real reason you’re here.
It frightens you, the entire situation. You call yourself a profiler, think you know people, think you understand behaviour, nothing is supposed to shock you. How could she have been guilty of this, and not one of you noticed a thing? It frightens you that your team could have turned a blind eye, there must have been signs. You racked your brain, you saw nothing. But had you been looking? Did you want to be the kind of man looking twice at his team? His family? You’d never needed to in the past. Maybe now was time for a different approach. But you hadn’t wanted it that way
The mess that was left of the BAU team aside, there was nothing you, Aaron Hotchner, could do for her, Emily Prentiss, professionally speaking. Not now. And you asked yourself, aside from professionally, what could you do for her?
You’d been expecting to see JJ here. It was the other reason you’d made the trip. You knew you had no power to stop her. You couldn’t stop them talking. You just hoped JJ had enough sense not to do anything stupid to jeopardise her own career. Maybe JJ needed this, some kind of closure. Maybe Emily could give her some answers. Something that would satisfy her, allow her to move on, allow your team to function normally again.
At the moment your team is in pieces. There is no trust, no collaboration. And you know that without teamwork, even the most brilliant among you is useless. It’s the sharing of ideas, supporting one another, that made your team something to be proud of. You’d feared for what would become of your team, if Emily had stayed. You could not have let things continue, not someone you could not trust right in the centre of everything. You never dreamed her leaving would be the catalyst of total and complete destruction of anything resembling a team, much less a family. If she had stayed, would have been only her to worry about, just you keeping an eye on her. Simple. Now there was no trust, from anyone. Now it was beyond your control.
You weren’t surprised by the incredibly elaborate service, the hundreds of mourners, You weren’t surprised to see you very own agent Jareau inconspicuously hiding in the back row of the chapel. What did surprise you, immensely, was the absence of ambassador Prentiss’ daughter.
Chapter 3. Garcia. “First to break.”
You’re waiting for JJ to return from the Ambassador’s funeral. You can tell she is surprised to find you sitting on her doorstep.
“Well?” You ask tentatively.
“Well what?” She replies coldly, stepping around you to get to your door as if you were a piece of rubbish, an obstacle in her path.
“Did you see Emily?” You ask quietly, looking around as that name slips from your lips. After weeks of being told you can’t talk about Emily, can’t think about Emily, you suddenly feel like you’re committing a crime just to say her name aloud.
“What do you care?” She calls out harshly, not even turning to look back at you as she fumbles with her key in the lock.
Then it hits you- She’s been to the Ambassador’s funeral, She’s seen Emily, She doesn’t need you anymore. You’re of no use to her in her search, and therefore no value to her. Good thing too, you think. After the weeks of silent treatment and harassment, the torture that she made of your every working day trying to beg you, bully you into joining her crusade, making it clear her friendship and professional resect came with that condition, it’s a good thing she has no use for you now. Because that was the last time you were going to let Jennifer Jareau speak to you like you’re a piece of shit on her shoe.
She has her precious Emily now, There was no need to continue to treat you like this. You’d tolerated it for weeks, telling yourself to be compassionate, to understand the way JJ was feeling. You put yourself in her shoes. Tried the best way you knew how to help her through it. How hurt she must be, how powerless she must feel, you got it, you forgave her. Then. But now she had what she wanted, She’d disobeyed Hotch’s orders and gone to the funeral, She’d seen Emily, found her answers. Why was she still taking it out on you? As if Emily’s disappearance was your sole personal responsibility?
JJ had been harsh with the others too, everyone on the team had copped it lately, but you’d copped the brunt of it. Why? Because she considered you closer to Emily and therefore more obliged to help her? Because you were the one best qualified to find Emily? Because she thought you knew something about the disappearance? Because you were an easy target? She though you’d be the first to break? Well you were. You were the one that ran to the bathrooms crying at the way she treated you, crying because you missed your friends, both her and Emily, who were gone from your life. The others grew quickly irritated with JJ and her attitude over the past weeks, learning to ignore her, but you were the only one she had wounded, or perhaps just the only one who showed it.
Jennifer Jareau had single handedly made life in the BAU a nightmare. No, you correct yourself, not quite single handedly. Emily began this, Taking off like that, not a word to anyone, no explanation, no goodbye. Emily could have found a way to let us know something. If she had cared. At all. It wasn’t just JJ making things hard. At least you understood JJ’s part in it. JJ wanted, needed, so much to find Emily. She just couldn’t get it through her head that you couldn’t help her. It wasn’t even just the two of them causing this. How could Hotch really tell you all to just forget it, no information, no explanation, did he really think it would all go away, swept neatly under the rug? Your respect for the man dwindled each passing day as you watched him watching over his disintegrating fragmented team, and say nothing, do nothing.
All you wanted were answers. You didn’t think it was too much to ask.
You think back to the last time you had spoken with Morgan. Last week. It was the first time since the day Emily went missing weeks ago that you’d heard her name come from his lips. He’d found you crying at your desk after another altercation with JJ. Some stupid argument about some printed data that wasn’t in the correct format she had asked for. It was stupid things like that she attacked you with, and you told yourself to ignore it. Told yourself she was hurting and didn’t mean it. But it still got to you, seeing the coldness in her eyes, being constantly criticised for everything you did
Morgan looked at you, and sighed sympathetically. “Don’t cry baby girl.” He said softly, “Come with me.” And he led you outside, away from the office, away from that place, into the sunshine and fresh air, and for a moment things really did seem better. “Don’t let her get to you, yeah? “ He said. He’d said it to you before, many times. Right from the first say he’d found you crying and asked what was wrong. He looked at you like you had two heads when you told him it was the way JJ treated you that caused those tears. “Look JJ is off the planet, she’s talking crap, no on pays attention to what she says about you or your work, don’t let it get to you.” He didn’t understand at all, and it made you miss JJ all the more. Miss talking to someone who understood you.
“It’s not JJ.” You uttered to him this time. Not just JJ, you silently added.
“Then what’s up?”
For lack of anyone else to confide in, and because you somehow trusted him in that moment, trusted the way he was talking to you so gently, the way his arms hung protectively around your shoulders. You told him.
“I miss my best friends.” You said.
“You still got me.” He replied, and you knew that should make you feel better, but it didn’t. Work was unbearable; you didn’t know how much longer you could stick it out like this. And nights you lay awake wondering about Emily, was she ok, where was she, would you see her again, what would happen to JJ? To the team? Could you have done something to prevent it?
“Yeah,’ You conceded. “But I miss Emily.”
He flinched as you said her name. And something in him snapped, you saw it in your eyes. “Forget it Garcia, Forget all of it. Get your mind back on the job. We have work to do. “
“But it’s Emily! You scream at him “One of us!”
He showed no sign of understanding at all.
‘Grow up Garcia, and pull yourself together.” He told you harshly, and gone was the caring Morgan who had his arm around you moments ago. He as good as called you unprofessional. His words wounded you. And you knew the one person who understood your feelings was JJ. The one person you needed right now, needed each other, and she was freezing you out. You couldn’t take it anymore. None of it. Why were you in the wrong with everyone all the time? With JJ because you didn't care enough, with Morgan because you cared too much?
“Take a look at that.” Morgan commanded you, pointing up to JJ’s office, “You wanna end up a fruit loop like that like that? Let it go.”
How you despised him in that moment. You were infuriated, but disbelieving. “I thought we were family. JJ is right, this is shit. If I disappeared one day you’d just tell everyone to forget me, Oh well Garcia is gone who needs her anyway? Garcia who? Nevermind let it go.”
“That’s not what I’m saying” He softened his tone. “This is the last time we’re gonna talk about this, about anything like this, hear me? Trust Hotch, trust me, for everyone’s good, Prentiss included, let it go ok? Prentiss is gone, she ain’t coming back, and all this crazy talk just gets everyone worked up, the team cant function like this. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Let. It. Go.”
You’re not sure why you hit him. The way he looked you in the eye telling you just forget your best friend, with no answers, the way he insulted JJ when you understood exactly the way she was acting, or just the way you felt like everything was burning inside you, and there was no way out. You were angry at Emily for doing this, angry at JJ for treating you like shit, angry at Morgan for speaking to you like you were 5 years old. You hadn’t deserved that.
He stood a moment looking you in the eye as he rubbed his jaw. Your hands were shanking. As if things weren’t fucked up enough. You wondered if he’d report you for unprofessional conduct. You wondered if there was any way back from this point, for you and Morgan? for you and JJ? for the entire team? It takes you a moment to have courage to return his gaze. And when you do, you realise something. Something you should have realised all along. He knows something. Very probably he knows everything. And he isn’t telling you. And in that moment your fury at him surpasses your fury at Emily and JJ combined. You walked away wordlessly and hadn’t spoken to him since.
It wasn’t fair, You’d done exactly what Hotch asked of you, kept everything to yourself. Told JJ over and over the exact thing Morgan was telling you- let it go. And yet Hotch blamed you somehow for JJ’s irrational behaviour, blamed you for the loss of cohesiveness in the team, As if even though you had said all the right words, JJ was feeding off your unspoken desire to find Emily, your unvoiced desperation for answers to the questions. Hotch had called you in the office, asking you to keep JJ in line, as if she was your responsibility.
And yet you did feel responsible. You wanted to keep her out of trouble, wanted to help her to get through this. You were probably the one who came closest to understanding, and she slammed shut every door in your face. Every time. But you still cared, about JJ, about Emily, it was why you were sitting here waiting on her doorstep.
But this was it. She’s pushed you one step too far. Tonight, You’re done with Jefnnifer Jareau.
You get up to walk away for the last time. You try to think of something hurtful to say as a parting remark, to get under her skin the way she has yours. But you’re crying now and you don’t want her to hear it in your voice, convinced by now that she gets some kind of satisfaction from pushing you to the point of tears. If not, why would she keep doing it? Why now when she has what she wants?
“Garcia, wait.” She calls. You stop, but don’t turn around. Not yet. You wait. “I’m sorry.” She adds softly.
It’s the first time since Emily vanished that you’ve heard those words from her mouth. It’s what makes you turn and look at her. Seeing your tear stained face she apologises again “Garcia I’m so sorry. For everything I took out on you, It’s not your fault. It’s her, she did this, I hate her.” JJ exclaims as she kicks over a pot plant, which loudly crashes to the ground near your feet. You inch closer hesitantly. ‘I hate her!” She repeats angrily.
“It’s ok” You tell her. And you wonder if it’s true. It is ok, you do understand, and you’re relieved beyond words that she called out to you before you’d walked away for good. But you think over the past weeks, all she’s put you through, and you wonder, will it ever be ok between you two again? You resent Emily so much sometimes for doing this to all of you.
“I hate her.” She tells you again, but this time she sounds broken, not angry “I hate her so much, and I’m so sorry I took everything out on you.”
You step forward and embrace her and she tells you again and again. ”I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok.” You reply again, and this time it feels like maybe it can be ok. “Tell me what happened? Did you see Emily?”
“Emily wasn’t there.” She finally tells you, and it takes a moment for that news to sink in. Emily wasn’t at her own mother’s funeral?