Life goes on, but I'm gone...

[wolfsavard]

I should be studying right now, just like I should've been for the past few days. But I just can't start. Every time I try to be productive I just feel like a failure or just can't even start. *sigh

Comments

[courtknee]

::found the Golden Compass much easier than American Gods, didnt enjoy American Gods that much because it was hard... but also put off reading The Subtle Knife after I finished The Golden Compass because it was so tricky::

[wolfsavard]

Sentence for sentence I feel like American Gods reads easier than Golden Compass but as for overall understanding of the plot, Golden Compass is much more comprehensible. I have no idea what the fuck is going on in American Gods. My roommate was like, "Oh man, so wtf was up with that chick eating that guy with her vajayjay!?" And I'll just be like WTF are you talking about?? because I totally missed it. I'm not really enjoying it but I don't want to give up!

[courtknee]

Yeah, I... had no idea what was happening in that book. I stuck it out, but it killed any desire I had to read Anansi Boys :-(

[bellipotens]

I'd rather just not have the constant reminder. And other times I almost get offended if others aren't constantly thinking about it, like if someone says they had a crappy day or need to be cheered up, I think, "yeah, I bet your day really sucked, poor baby" and then I feel like a self-absorbed asshole.I TOTALLY know how you feel. When my aunt passed away, I had the exact same feelings. I didn't want the constant reminders that she was gone, but at the same time, I didn't want anyone to forget about her and all the things she meant to me. Granted, we didn't live in the same house, but she was very much a parental figure to me. My friends treated me weird too, they knew she was like a second mom to me, so for a while, it was a lot of "how are you coping? Are you alright? Do you need to talk?" ALL - THE - DAMN - TIME. I was like, "NO! I need to get away from it

[wolfsavard]

I just feel like a completely unappreciative bitch because I know that everyone is just trying to help me and make me feel better, but I can't help these thoughts of they're just doing it to make themselves feel better and all the irritation. Why does grieving always have to be so complicated?

It's definitely challenging! I'm still plugging away at it... I have no idea what the fuck is really going on, but I'm hoping I'll catch on by the end of the book. :)

[clarkdreams]

<3 We just all love you so much...l must think about you nearly every minute - but I guess the outpouring of love that has come lets you know that his memory will live on. Despite the tragedy, I know personally I have done a lot of reflecting on life - what it all means, where I am, how I treat others, and where I want to be, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. So I guess the love he had for you has become the love everyone who loves you wants to share with the world.
I know it's all small condolense and prolly makes little sense as my brain wakes up this morning, but I do love you and will do anything I can to help...

[wolfsavard]

I know, dear, and I love you too. <3

[banquier]

I'm definitely praying for you darling. It's tough, and after I lost my grandmother I felt similar emotions, but I can't imagine losing someone that close to me. It just takes time, and tears to get through something like this. I'd keep all those wonderful people really close :]

[wolfsavard]

I don't think I could push all those wonderful people away if I tried... they wouldn't let me. :)

[foreverseenstar]

See and I feel like a huge bitch even mentioning my dad and his antics now. But like, at the same time, I know you don't like being asked if you're okay 4gajillion times over. So. Usually I just go with attempts at distraction. Such as singing the entire production of Rent via LJ comments. Heh.

[athena2483]

Yeah, and um having to leave on Friday to go back to NY to see my dad made me feel like the biggest ass ever. Any happiness I feel now makes me feel guilty, and any sadness makes me feel like a jerk because seriously, my boyfriend possibly breaking up with me can't possibly compare to what Laura's feeling. I wish I were in CT more so as to provide more distraction. And cookies.

[wolfsavard]

No no, you should not be going through these intense emotions, too. Don't ever feel like a jerk or guilty for feeling happy or sad. I do wish you could be in CT more though (even though for someone who lives in NYC you are here a lot) and I <3 cookies.

[athena2483]

<3