So here I am

[witshrprthnfang]

 I'm on Ariel's computer after a severe attack of conscience. I keep treating her like she was my girlfriend, and people around campus have seen us holding hands. I still don't feel...it. But if I'm treating her this way, does that mean I want to date her? I had a dream last night that It's Complicated wanted to get back together with me, and I

Comments

[nellasaur]

I...don't see what harm there could be in trying it, personally. If you're treating her like a girlfriend, and she's interested, why not take that last step? Unless she's TOTALLY DEVOTED OMG to you and already thinks you're destined to be together forever omg!!1!!, I think it's fair to both of you to give it a try. If it works, great! If it doesn't, I don't think any college freshman seriously expects their first college relationship to last forever.

If your conscience is still going to be giving you pangs, though, maybe talk to her about it first? See how interested she is in a relationship, especially one right now, and where she might want it to go. That might help you to better judge if she just wants to have something fun and official with you, or if she's a romantic at heart who's going to expect TRU LUV 4EVA out of you...

[bluegenius]

I think that if there's no spark, then there's no spark.
If you don't feel it then you're just treating her like she seems to want to be treated.

But I will note here that I'm terribly biased because I'm more than a little likely to treat close friends halfway like we're dating. That's just me being friendly. And that might just be you being friendly too.

I think if you're going to treat her that way and you don't want to date her... well it sounds like you might need to let her know that you don't mean it that way.

But if you're feeling the lack of companionship and you think there's real potential there (which truthfully, to me, it doesn't sound like you think that) then maybe you should try a date or something that could head towards dating. See if you can feel it.

[witshrprthnfang]

You guys have given me a lot to think about on both sides of the argument (She's hand-feeding me gummy bears, you guys. I think this is relevant, though she wishes to note that I am letting her feed me gummy bears. I think that is relevant too).

One of the reasons I am reluctant to try it is that she, being in my studio, is implicitly off-limits. There's an unwritten rule in the music building "don't date within your section." Emily C learned that the hard way with Heather. If something goes wrong, then there is the potential to ruin the dynamic of the whole section. The flute section is like a family; I'd hate for my mistake to be the cause of tension. I'd feel horrible if a) I hurt her and b) if I ruined the flute section.

So those are my thoughts.