never had
never had
myungsoo/suzy, pg
au/slice of life, 2792w
Somewhat of a continuation of Say You'll Stay, but can work as a stand alone.
Written for some very special people. You know who you are. Sorry for keeping this from you for so long.
i've been gone for so long now
chasing everything that's new
i have forgotten how i got here
i have not forgotten you
“Oh, sweet pea. It’s good to have you home.”
Suzy reluctantly gets into the passenger seat as Bora tosses the last of her luggage into the trunk of the car. She’s thankful that the air in the vehicle is not as stuffy as the plane was. Her head is still pounding after being in the air for almost twenty-four hours. There weren’t enough books in the world to distract her. She prompts a window open to breathe better.
Bora takes a peek into the mirror and applies another coat of lipstick before starting the car. “Wanna drop your things off at home?”
Suzy shakes her head and Bora pulls away from the airport’s pick up area. She hasn’t spoken to her parents since April, when the semester ended. They argued over - what Suzy still finds - trivial matters. “They don’t even know I’m in town.”
“What?”
Suzy’s mouth twists, a sour expression washing over her face. Clearly, she isn’t ready to face her blood.
“Forget it. It’s cool. You don’t need to tell me. You can stay at my place.” Bora reaches over and rests her hand on Suzy’s knee cap. “It’s okay. Let’s just go to the party.”
She’s not exactly prepared to confront him, either.
Friends from high school bombard Suzy with overdue embraces and questions about her years abroad. She’s overwhelmed with warmth and company. Her time overseas was lonely, especially during her freshman year. Her parents accompanied her and helped her settle in to the new routine. It just made it that more difficult to send them back home. She relied on miniature snickers and TLC. Her roommate became fed up due to her poor English, but Suzy Bae proved to her how quick a learner she truly is and managed to converse properly by sophomore year.
Bora keeps Suzy occupied for the first hour to ease her into the environment. She whispers a few warnings before picking up a beer and leaving Suzy with a few strangers. It’s too late for Suzy to tell her to make good choices. The party girl can’t hold her booze.
She finds Dongo, an old classmate, in the living room amongst another swarm of people she slowly begins to recognize. She nods at the ones who greets her. Dongho’s face brightens at the sight of someone who didn’t shove him into the girl’s washroom during high school.
“Hyosung’s trying to stuff me like a turkey,” she says, hugging him. She offers a quiche from her plate.
He holds his hand up to decline. “I had five already.”
“Trying to fill in your pants size?”
“Okay there, princess.” She elbows his ribs.
And then she sees him, or he notices her being playful with Dongho from across the room. She doesn’t know which because all of a sudden, everything around her slows down. The lights strung on the wall become soft, yet nostalgic. It hits her when he waves. Dongho takes it as a signal to grab a crab cake.
Suzy gives Myungsoo a tight lipped smile and swallows. It’s unlike him to be forward or to even cast the first move. People gravitate toward him, not the other way around. She has to hold back a laugh because his tie is noticeably crooked, but she can’t because they can’t play that way anymore.
He’s with another girl, but Suzy doesn’t cower. She slaps a on a brave face and slips over to where he’s seated by the stereo. He catches her approaching him and gets to his feet.
Myungsoo’s face is still thin. His hair is cut short, the way she prefers it, but remains coarse. His collar is too tight. Perspiration is already glistening across his forehead.
“Hey,” she says timidly. The same greeting slips from his mouth, almost in unison with hers.
He pats her shoulder awkwardly. His eyes wander over her head before asking, “When did you get in?”
“An hour ago.”
The sides of his lips curl up. It’s strange how he can read her better than he did almost four years ago. “You’re exhausted.”
She laughs, tilting her head because the ounce of wine she’s already consumed is making her lightheaded. “I’ve been better.”
“You look good, though.”
Suzy blinks and turns gently to give moment to her sequined skirt. “You too.”
He introduces the female tagging behind him. Naeun. He doesn’t give her a title. Naeun excuses herself, similarly to Dongho, obviously sensing tension that needs to be sorted out.
Wow. We’ve scared off two of them, Suzy thinks to herself. She glances at Myungsoo. His face is petrified at the idea of being alone with her. Internally, he’s grateful for the privacy.
They sit down and exchange words as the Christmas celebrations continue around them. The main dinner course is finally being served and the girls are whipping up strawberry daiquiris in the kitchen.
Certain questions are expected from one another. The mood is apprehensive, yet inviting and engaging. It’s hard to pick up where they left off.
Myungsoo doesn’t look at her while he speaks. He plays with his hands or fumbles with the red plastic cup Woohyun shoved at them at the start of dinner. Suzy’s gaze softens, noticing a faint rash developing on the fringe of his cheek. She hasn’t seen that reaction since he first applied to college. The nerves got the best of him.
She has to restrain from touching him or taking his hand to soothe him. She doesn’t want to fool him or herself. That was them in the past. This is them now.
Neither of them had hoped for this.
It’s only me, she wants to say as he gives her a summary of his current job, which lacks in variety and excitement for him. He’s still striving towards music. She’s glad to know that some aspects haven’t changed.
So when he asks her if she’s seeing anyone, she is prepared. She’s embarrassed by the pause she takes. Myungsoo’s question still cuts her, but she understands that he’s only curious.
“No,” she says. She shakes her head and has to stifle a giggle at the sight of him feeling awful for even asking. “I’m not a city girl, and there were only city boys who were interested in other things rather than me.”
His face locks in place at the statement. She shrugs, a hint of sadness glistening over her chocolate eyes. He’s too slow and shocked to respond, proving to the Suzy that he’s still somewhat of the naive, young man she left behind.
A sober group from the dinner party leaves the house for a bit to go for a few rounds at the ice rink by the community centre, Suzy and Myungsoo included. The bunch speed walk down sidewalks in the blistering cold, holding onto each other or themselves. Suzy’s a few steps ahead because she’s the only logical one who didn’t step into heels.
Suzy slips a large bill to the employee at the rental shop. She insists he keep the change, thrilled to make someone’s day worthwhile.
She goes around the rink a few times on her own, careful not to hobble over any dents on the ice. She’s rusty. Luckily, she isn’t the only one.
Myungsoo has Naeun on his arm and they both appear equally petrified to glide on the slippery surface. Naeun glances at him constantly in desperate need of confidence. He attempts to look like he knows what he’s doing. It shows that he hasn’t done this in a while.
Suzy remembers taking him out onto a frozen pond by her house in her last year of high school and his freshman year of university. She didn’t have to beg as much as she thought she would have. She recognizes the fear and recalls the argument they had on the route to the coffee shop. It worked out in the end when they returned to the pond a few weeks later because he attained balance - literally and metaphorically.
Her mind slips out of that period in her life as she hears cackling not too distant from her spot on the ice. She whirls around, not surprised to find Myungsoo on his bottom. He lets out a groan and falls on his back. Dongwoo’s on his knees, clutching his stomach with laughter.
Suzy sighs. He’s lost it.
She’s cold when they return to the house. The returning group indulge in the shortbread cookies and tiramisu set on the table. She doesn’t feel worthy of buttery treats so she seats herself on the leather couch and covers her legs with someone’s puffy jacket.
Bora slides next to her with a creamy cup of Irish liqueur for the younger girl. Suzy takes it and feels Bora head fall on her shoulder.
“I’m gonna stay here tonight,” she says with a red face. “Sorry.”
Suzy nods and finishes off the thick beverage. She runs her tongue over her teeth and lets the liqueur burn slowly down her throat.
Her face becomes warm. She blinks continuously to keep herself awake, but the novelty drink takes over and her eyes eventually close.
The last person she sees is Myungsoo sitting far across from her. This time he’s alone.
She crashes before figuring out if his face is filled with concerned or if it’s just her imagination.
The scent wafting around her nose is familiar. It’s a medley of laundry detergent and men’s facial cleanser. The fringe she tries so hard to keep away from her face are flared delicately over her forehead. She rests her hand there.
The mattress beneath her is welcoming. A fleece duvet keeps her tucked into the stranger’s bed. There’s a window to her left. It’s still dark out.
There’s a glow on the other side of the dark room. She sits up slowly and leans over to find a lamp towering over a sleeping Myungsoo. He’s seated in a plush chair. His head is tossed to the side and he’s dressed in what Suzy assumes are his pajamas.
She lets out a yelp when his body twitches him conscience. He hears her and startles himself. His eyes roll back at his own shock. Neither of them say anything until Myungsoo’s breathing settles.
“Fell off a building. Happens every Monday,” he murmurs.
She exhales. “That’s new.”
“Yeah, well.” He gestures vaguely around the apartment and sighs. “Are you feeling better?”
Myungsoo tells her that Eli carried her back from the party because he stuck around to clean up the house with Hyosung and a few other stable guests. Suzy believes him because she knows he’s not physically strong. She use to refuse letting him give her piggybacks because she feared his spine would snap like a Kit Kat.
“Her house is literally five minutes away, so don’t worry,” he yawns, rubbing his eyes.
She nods, figuring she should get going despite having the urge to stay. She starts devising a plan in her head, but what comes out of her mouth is a daring question.
“Is Naeun okay with this?”
His brow furrows. He doesn’t miss a beat. “What about her?”
“I’m in her boyfriend’s bed,” she deadpans, throwing the duvet off her body. She’s ready to make a run for it. “I think she has a right to know.”
His eyes narrow. Suzy wonders if it’s disappointment.
“We’re not..we’re not seeing each other,” he puts simply, but still drags on the sentence. “One of the guys introduced us last week, but I don’t see it going anywhere.”
“Why’s that?”
Myungsoo inhales nervously. He scratches his head, gets up, tucks her back into his bed without a word, and secures a longing gaze with her. “Because I’ve been waiting for someone for a long time.”
Suzy rolls out of her slumber quite early that morning. Her throat is dry to the bone, but a smile still graces her lips. She contains her joy while making the bed and then pulls back the curtains in the bedroom.
He was gonna sleep next to her while the sun was still down, but she kneed him. “It’s weird! This is happening too fast.”
He smirked in response and grabbed another sheet from his closet. “Go to sleep.”
The snow comes alive behind the window. The flakes tumble down. She heeds the tinkling the snow makes when it comes in contact with the marshmallow surface hugging the ground below.
Tiptoeing out of his room, she grabs her coat resting on the kitchen counter. She steps into her boots and spins around to steal a glance at Myungsoo. He’s dozed off in front of the television. One leg peeks out from under the cover to steal some cool air.
Charming.
She bows her head in content, thinking she will never need a city boy.
Suzy returns an hour later with goodies in hand. She’s sporting loose pants and a holiday sweater. She tosses a paper bag on the table and keeps something else hidden in her jacket. Her face is raw and cold, but her excitement is inevitable.
Myungsoo’s awake. The gunk is out of his eyes and there’s a black coffee in front of him. He’s still being a lazy bum on the couch.
“Hey you,” she offers, more kindly than at the dinner.
“‘Morning,” he says. “Where’d you go?”
She takes two croissants out of the paper bag and treads over to him. He takes one and bites into it while she briefly explains.
“I had to run a few errands... and take care of a few things,” she utters. Her heartbeat is steady after calling her parents. She made a trip to her old neighborhood, and the house she grew up in was empty. She didn’t want to make the twenty-fifth of December a miserable one for her family. Her mother gave her an earful on the other line
He senses the release in her voice and reaches over for her wrist, gently tugging her to speak up. She shakes her head and his hand away and unveils a wrapped gift from under her jacket.
He stares. “What’s this?”
“Merry Christmas,” she says, smiling. She places the box on the middle cushion.
Myungsoo gives her an incredulous look, watching her cross her legs on the other side of his couch.
“Do you want me to open it?” she asks, gesturing to the the gift in his lap.
His mouth opens, stunned and speechless. He has nothing for her. He had nothing for her for the past three years except meaningless conversation. But she’s finally here and now his dialogue is impaired.
Suzy leans back against the cushion. “Take your time.”
A smirk manages to escape his lips at the sound of her patronizing him. His face becomes crimson as he murmurs, “thanks.” The feeling is all too familiar when he and Suzy first became acquainted.
He pulls apart the white bow and tears at the tape on the side. The snowman print wrapping paper feels soft and outdated as he rips it off the box. There’s more tape and he goes at it with his fingernail. He lifts the lid up and discovers a black, matte, ski helmet resting in it.
His eyes widen. “Suzy.”
“Try it on.” Her voice is gentle, masking anticipation.
As she fastens the buckle under his chin, he asks, “When did you get this?”
She snagged it from her closet during her quick visit to her parent’s house. It had been stuffed away on the top shelf of her closet for the longest time. It collected dust, to say the least.
“I was going to give it to you four Christmases ago,” she began, “but things happened. You don’t have to wear it.”
“No, no. I’m gonna wear it. I love it.” He sets the helmet on the carpet by their feet and shakes out his already sweaty hair. “You didn’t have to give this to me.”
She laughs at the thought of him ever stepping onto the ice again. “You’re a clutz. It’s mandatory.”
She looks as if she’s about to protest as he continues to stare at her, but he leans in and crushes his lips against hers. She lets out a short gasp when he pulls away, relieved that he didn’t react how she pictured he would. She became terrified over the years, worrying that he would slowly transform into someone who couldn’t accept her for leaving.
But when he looks at her again and pecks the top of her head, she cannot ask for anything more. She runs her hand over his thick mane and presses her cheek to his.
Her breath is on his as he says, “It’s been a while.”
But they made it.
They’re home.
myungsoo/suzy, pg
au/slice of life, 2792w
Somewhat of a continuation of Say You'll Stay, but can work as a stand alone.
Written for some very special people. You know who you are. Sorry for keeping this from you for so long.
i've been gone for so long now
chasing everything that's new
i have forgotten how i got here
i have not forgotten you
“Oh, sweet pea. It’s good to have you home.”
Suzy reluctantly gets into the passenger seat as Bora tosses the last of her luggage into the trunk of the car. She’s thankful that the air in the vehicle is not as stuffy as the plane was. Her head is still pounding after being in the air for almost twenty-four hours. There weren’t enough books in the world to distract her. She prompts a window open to breathe better.
Bora takes a peek into the mirror and applies another coat of lipstick before starting the car. “Wanna drop your things off at home?”
Suzy shakes her head and Bora pulls away from the airport’s pick up area. She hasn’t spoken to her parents since April, when the semester ended. They argued over - what Suzy still finds - trivial matters. “They don’t even know I’m in town.”
“What?”
Suzy’s mouth twists, a sour expression washing over her face. Clearly, she isn’t ready to face her blood.
“Forget it. It’s cool. You don’t need to tell me. You can stay at my place.” Bora reaches over and rests her hand on Suzy’s knee cap. “It’s okay. Let’s just go to the party.”
She’s not exactly prepared to confront him, either.
Friends from high school bombard Suzy with overdue embraces and questions about her years abroad. She’s overwhelmed with warmth and company. Her time overseas was lonely, especially during her freshman year. Her parents accompanied her and helped her settle in to the new routine. It just made it that more difficult to send them back home. She relied on miniature snickers and TLC. Her roommate became fed up due to her poor English, but Suzy Bae proved to her how quick a learner she truly is and managed to converse properly by sophomore year.
Bora keeps Suzy occupied for the first hour to ease her into the environment. She whispers a few warnings before picking up a beer and leaving Suzy with a few strangers. It’s too late for Suzy to tell her to make good choices. The party girl can’t hold her booze.
She finds Dongo, an old classmate, in the living room amongst another swarm of people she slowly begins to recognize. She nods at the ones who greets her. Dongho’s face brightens at the sight of someone who didn’t shove him into the girl’s washroom during high school.
“Hyosung’s trying to stuff me like a turkey,” she says, hugging him. She offers a quiche from her plate.
He holds his hand up to decline. “I had five already.”
“Trying to fill in your pants size?”
“Okay there, princess.” She elbows his ribs.
And then she sees him, or he notices her being playful with Dongho from across the room. She doesn’t know which because all of a sudden, everything around her slows down. The lights strung on the wall become soft, yet nostalgic. It hits her when he waves. Dongho takes it as a signal to grab a crab cake.
Suzy gives Myungsoo a tight lipped smile and swallows. It’s unlike him to be forward or to even cast the first move. People gravitate toward him, not the other way around. She has to hold back a laugh because his tie is noticeably crooked, but she can’t because they can’t play that way anymore.
He’s with another girl, but Suzy doesn’t cower. She slaps a on a brave face and slips over to where he’s seated by the stereo. He catches her approaching him and gets to his feet.
Myungsoo’s face is still thin. His hair is cut short, the way she prefers it, but remains coarse. His collar is too tight. Perspiration is already glistening across his forehead.
“Hey,” she says timidly. The same greeting slips from his mouth, almost in unison with hers.
He pats her shoulder awkwardly. His eyes wander over her head before asking, “When did you get in?”
“An hour ago.”
The sides of his lips curl up. It’s strange how he can read her better than he did almost four years ago. “You’re exhausted.”
She laughs, tilting her head because the ounce of wine she’s already consumed is making her lightheaded. “I’ve been better.”
“You look good, though.”
Suzy blinks and turns gently to give moment to her sequined skirt. “You too.”
He introduces the female tagging behind him. Naeun. He doesn’t give her a title. Naeun excuses herself, similarly to Dongho, obviously sensing tension that needs to be sorted out.
Wow. We’ve scared off two of them, Suzy thinks to herself. She glances at Myungsoo. His face is petrified at the idea of being alone with her. Internally, he’s grateful for the privacy.
They sit down and exchange words as the Christmas celebrations continue around them. The main dinner course is finally being served and the girls are whipping up strawberry daiquiris in the kitchen.
Certain questions are expected from one another. The mood is apprehensive, yet inviting and engaging. It’s hard to pick up where they left off.
Myungsoo doesn’t look at her while he speaks. He plays with his hands or fumbles with the red plastic cup Woohyun shoved at them at the start of dinner. Suzy’s gaze softens, noticing a faint rash developing on the fringe of his cheek. She hasn’t seen that reaction since he first applied to college. The nerves got the best of him.
She has to restrain from touching him or taking his hand to soothe him. She doesn’t want to fool him or herself. That was them in the past. This is them now.
Neither of them had hoped for this.
It’s only me, she wants to say as he gives her a summary of his current job, which lacks in variety and excitement for him. He’s still striving towards music. She’s glad to know that some aspects haven’t changed.
So when he asks her if she’s seeing anyone, she is prepared. She’s embarrassed by the pause she takes. Myungsoo’s question still cuts her, but she understands that he’s only curious.
“No,” she says. She shakes her head and has to stifle a giggle at the sight of him feeling awful for even asking. “I’m not a city girl, and there were only city boys who were interested in other things rather than me.”
His face locks in place at the statement. She shrugs, a hint of sadness glistening over her chocolate eyes. He’s too slow and shocked to respond, proving to the Suzy that he’s still somewhat of the naive, young man she left behind.
A sober group from the dinner party leaves the house for a bit to go for a few rounds at the ice rink by the community centre, Suzy and Myungsoo included. The bunch speed walk down sidewalks in the blistering cold, holding onto each other or themselves. Suzy’s a few steps ahead because she’s the only logical one who didn’t step into heels.
Suzy slips a large bill to the employee at the rental shop. She insists he keep the change, thrilled to make someone’s day worthwhile.
She goes around the rink a few times on her own, careful not to hobble over any dents on the ice. She’s rusty. Luckily, she isn’t the only one.
Myungsoo has Naeun on his arm and they both appear equally petrified to glide on the slippery surface. Naeun glances at him constantly in desperate need of confidence. He attempts to look like he knows what he’s doing. It shows that he hasn’t done this in a while.
Suzy remembers taking him out onto a frozen pond by her house in her last year of high school and his freshman year of university. She didn’t have to beg as much as she thought she would have. She recognizes the fear and recalls the argument they had on the route to the coffee shop. It worked out in the end when they returned to the pond a few weeks later because he attained balance - literally and metaphorically.
Her mind slips out of that period in her life as she hears cackling not too distant from her spot on the ice. She whirls around, not surprised to find Myungsoo on his bottom. He lets out a groan and falls on his back. Dongwoo’s on his knees, clutching his stomach with laughter.
Suzy sighs. He’s lost it.
She’s cold when they return to the house. The returning group indulge in the shortbread cookies and tiramisu set on the table. She doesn’t feel worthy of buttery treats so she seats herself on the leather couch and covers her legs with someone’s puffy jacket.
Bora slides next to her with a creamy cup of Irish liqueur for the younger girl. Suzy takes it and feels Bora head fall on her shoulder.
“I’m gonna stay here tonight,” she says with a red face. “Sorry.”
Suzy nods and finishes off the thick beverage. She runs her tongue over her teeth and lets the liqueur burn slowly down her throat.
Her face becomes warm. She blinks continuously to keep herself awake, but the novelty drink takes over and her eyes eventually close.
The last person she sees is Myungsoo sitting far across from her. This time he’s alone.
She crashes before figuring out if his face is filled with concerned or if it’s just her imagination.
The scent wafting around her nose is familiar. It’s a medley of laundry detergent and men’s facial cleanser. The fringe she tries so hard to keep away from her face are flared delicately over her forehead. She rests her hand there.
The mattress beneath her is welcoming. A fleece duvet keeps her tucked into the stranger’s bed. There’s a window to her left. It’s still dark out.
There’s a glow on the other side of the dark room. She sits up slowly and leans over to find a lamp towering over a sleeping Myungsoo. He’s seated in a plush chair. His head is tossed to the side and he’s dressed in what Suzy assumes are his pajamas.
She lets out a yelp when his body twitches him conscience. He hears her and startles himself. His eyes roll back at his own shock. Neither of them say anything until Myungsoo’s breathing settles.
“Fell off a building. Happens every Monday,” he murmurs.
She exhales. “That’s new.”
“Yeah, well.” He gestures vaguely around the apartment and sighs. “Are you feeling better?”
Myungsoo tells her that Eli carried her back from the party because he stuck around to clean up the house with Hyosung and a few other stable guests. Suzy believes him because she knows he’s not physically strong. She use to refuse letting him give her piggybacks because she feared his spine would snap like a Kit Kat.
“Her house is literally five minutes away, so don’t worry,” he yawns, rubbing his eyes.
She nods, figuring she should get going despite having the urge to stay. She starts devising a plan in her head, but what comes out of her mouth is a daring question.
“Is Naeun okay with this?”
His brow furrows. He doesn’t miss a beat. “What about her?”
“I’m in her boyfriend’s bed,” she deadpans, throwing the duvet off her body. She’s ready to make a run for it. “I think she has a right to know.”
His eyes narrow. Suzy wonders if it’s disappointment.
“We’re not..we’re not seeing each other,” he puts simply, but still drags on the sentence. “One of the guys introduced us last week, but I don’t see it going anywhere.”
“Why’s that?”
Myungsoo inhales nervously. He scratches his head, gets up, tucks her back into his bed without a word, and secures a longing gaze with her. “Because I’ve been waiting for someone for a long time.”
Suzy rolls out of her slumber quite early that morning. Her throat is dry to the bone, but a smile still graces her lips. She contains her joy while making the bed and then pulls back the curtains in the bedroom.
He was gonna sleep next to her while the sun was still down, but she kneed him. “It’s weird! This is happening too fast.”
He smirked in response and grabbed another sheet from his closet. “Go to sleep.”
The snow comes alive behind the window. The flakes tumble down. She heeds the tinkling the snow makes when it comes in contact with the marshmallow surface hugging the ground below.
Tiptoeing out of his room, she grabs her coat resting on the kitchen counter. She steps into her boots and spins around to steal a glance at Myungsoo. He’s dozed off in front of the television. One leg peeks out from under the cover to steal some cool air.
Charming.
She bows her head in content, thinking she will never need a city boy.
Suzy returns an hour later with goodies in hand. She’s sporting loose pants and a holiday sweater. She tosses a paper bag on the table and keeps something else hidden in her jacket. Her face is raw and cold, but her excitement is inevitable.
Myungsoo’s awake. The gunk is out of his eyes and there’s a black coffee in front of him. He’s still being a lazy bum on the couch.
“Hey you,” she offers, more kindly than at the dinner.
“‘Morning,” he says. “Where’d you go?”
She takes two croissants out of the paper bag and treads over to him. He takes one and bites into it while she briefly explains.
“I had to run a few errands... and take care of a few things,” she utters. Her heartbeat is steady after calling her parents. She made a trip to her old neighborhood, and the house she grew up in was empty. She didn’t want to make the twenty-fifth of December a miserable one for her family. Her mother gave her an earful on the other line
He senses the release in her voice and reaches over for her wrist, gently tugging her to speak up. She shakes her head and his hand away and unveils a wrapped gift from under her jacket.
He stares. “What’s this?”
“Merry Christmas,” she says, smiling. She places the box on the middle cushion.
Myungsoo gives her an incredulous look, watching her cross her legs on the other side of his couch.
“Do you want me to open it?” she asks, gesturing to the the gift in his lap.
His mouth opens, stunned and speechless. He has nothing for her. He had nothing for her for the past three years except meaningless conversation. But she’s finally here and now his dialogue is impaired.
Suzy leans back against the cushion. “Take your time.”
A smirk manages to escape his lips at the sound of her patronizing him. His face becomes crimson as he murmurs, “thanks.” The feeling is all too familiar when he and Suzy first became acquainted.
He pulls apart the white bow and tears at the tape on the side. The snowman print wrapping paper feels soft and outdated as he rips it off the box. There’s more tape and he goes at it with his fingernail. He lifts the lid up and discovers a black, matte, ski helmet resting in it.
His eyes widen. “Suzy.”
“Try it on.” Her voice is gentle, masking anticipation.
As she fastens the buckle under his chin, he asks, “When did you get this?”
She snagged it from her closet during her quick visit to her parent’s house. It had been stuffed away on the top shelf of her closet for the longest time. It collected dust, to say the least.
“I was going to give it to you four Christmases ago,” she began, “but things happened. You don’t have to wear it.”
“No, no. I’m gonna wear it. I love it.” He sets the helmet on the carpet by their feet and shakes out his already sweaty hair. “You didn’t have to give this to me.”
She laughs at the thought of him ever stepping onto the ice again. “You’re a clutz. It’s mandatory.”
She looks as if she’s about to protest as he continues to stare at her, but he leans in and crushes his lips against hers. She lets out a short gasp when he pulls away, relieved that he didn’t react how she pictured he would. She became terrified over the years, worrying that he would slowly transform into someone who couldn’t accept her for leaving.
But when he looks at her again and pecks the top of her head, she cannot ask for anything more. She runs her hand over his thick mane and presses her cheek to his.
Her breath is on his as he says, “It’s been a while.”
But they made it.
They’re home.