say you'll stay
say you'll stay
myungsoo/suzy, pg-13, au/romance/drama, 1822w
Suzy Bae had the luxury of having the house to herself for the week before heading off to college while her parents were off gallivanting across Europe. Her family owned the loveliest residency on the block and it was one of the very few kept gated in the area, making outsiders believe that they had some sort of animal locked up. All they had was a whimsical girl who enjoyed waking up early and dropping pennies faced up on the streets.
Suzy kept the promise she made to her parents and didn’t pull a cliché by not throwing one of those over the top parties. She had a small group of friends over for movies and drinks instead. Some of them stayed a few nights and in the morning, they would walk over to the diner in their pyjamas and got bloated on waffles, whipped cream and strawberries.
Her boyfriend (although she preferred to call him otherwise) Myungsoo showed up at her door around noon as her friends were leaving the premises. They waved and smiled at him sheepishly as he nodded back. He let himself into the house and kicked his shoes off to the side of the welcome mat.
He was no stranger to the lush house. As a matter of fact, he didn’t have to sneak over the past seven days to fool around with the Bae’s only daughter. Not that it was a challenge or anything before. It saved him from hurting his crotch on the way up to the second floor.
“Suzy?’
He inspected the living room, finding empty bowls of chips and bottles of alcohol on the glass coffee table. DVD cases were sprawled open near the refreshments. Pillows were thrown in a sloppy manner on the leather sofa and fluffy duvets dressed the hardwood floor.
“Suzy?” Myungsoo called out again, making his way into the newly renovated kitchen. He grabbed a fresh croissant from the bowl on the island and did a loop around. He stopped when he heard soft thumps from the second floor, realizing she was in her room.
He went back down the hall, grabbed the railing and padded up the stairs with the croissant in his mouth. He breezed by the possible in-laws’ room, the linen closet, the powder room and a few spares until reaching Suzy’s suite at the nose of the house.
Suzy cracked the door open just enough for him to view her eyes, nose and a part of her mouth. “Can you wait? I’m half naked.”
A smirk tugged at his lips. He shrugged. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
She scoffed and shut the door on him. He chuckled, turning his back to finish the plain croissant. He listened to her scrounge for the right clothes and remembered recent events when he would come over for time in the sack and clothes were the last things on her mind.
Suzy had decided to study literature abroad while he was already at a nearby college focusing on music. She had not responded the way he expected her to and he never had the chance to put a word in because of her constant good moods. He couldn’t bring himself to tear that beauty from her. He went along with it, as if she would only be an hour away for the next four years. But enough was enough. His stomach hula-hooped when he thought about her - and not the way it should have.
The door clicked open. “Come in.”
“Are you decent?”
“I guess,” she said. “I noticed you’ve been snacking.”
“Where did you get them?” He asked, attempting to warm her up before shooting out serious questions.
“Gas station.” She pulled at her denim skirt before taking his hands. “Bed.”
“Bed?”
“Bed.” She smiled cheekily.
Myungsoo fell back on the queen size first, burying the side of his face into one of the dozen pillows. He inhaled slowly, absorbing the flowery smell of Suzy’s dark hair.
She grabbed something off her desk before hopping on to the other side of the mattress. “Here. Listen.”
Suzy never had songs to share with him. It was never the other earphone he expected her to hand him. She presented him with the strangest knick-knacks: mini M&Ms in their original tube, cassette tapes, hour glasses, plastic figurines lying around in their containers and her shell collection.
She handed him a shell again. It was new to him and it spanned from his wrist to the tip of his fingers. He watched her as she waited for him. It reluctantly went against his ear.
Myungsoo never liked the feeling that crept into his skull from the beach. He preferred the smooth and rough texture of the shell. Just hearing their insides reminded him of how far the ocean was from their hometown. The cool echo running down the back of his spine made him shiver.
The shell she gave in bed was no different. He still twitched, but that was only because he couldn’t hear anything.
She didn’t seem to notice his pained expression. “It’s pretty, yeah? I found it in a box of old paperbacks.”
“Is it real?”
Suzy nodded, reaching over to stroke his cheek. “Why? What’s wrong?”
He turned over as her fingertips grazed against his temples. “I don’t hear it.”
“You don't hear what?”
“I don’t hear the damn ocean.”
She frowned, placing the shell against her ear. “Well, I do.”
He snorted. “Well, I don’t.”
“I picked it off the beach myself,” she protested to prove its authenticity. “I heard it the same three years ago.”
Maybe it was because he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear the distance. He wanted to avoid any feelings of separation or longing.
“What’s the matter?” She whispered, slowly drawing him out of his thoughts. He was staring up at the ceiling for quite some time until he grabbed the courage to say something.
He sighed shortly. “The reason I don’t think I can hear anything is because you’re leaving.”
Suzy lifted her head from her pillow. “What’s that suppose to mean?”
“You’re the shell,” he murmured, laughing bitterly. “You’re the shell.”
She was taken back. Her brows crossed. “Myungsoo, what are you saying?”
He gazed back at her softly, not minding the harsh beam across her face. The words fell from his lips. “Don’t go.”
What did he expect? She obviously turned away from him, unable to speak full sentences. She inched herself over to the edge of the bed and failed to contain herself. “Oh, no. No, no, no. No.”
He tried again. “Suzy-”
“No,” she snapped, shaking her head. She planned her move overseas months beforehand. She already had things for her loft packed and sealed away. Most of her expenses were paid off thanks to her job and the family. She was ready to go. Myungsoo was her only obstacle.
He slowly shifted over to her from his spot and pushed her hair to one side so he could kiss her shoulder. When he did, she stayed firm. He gradually moved his lips to her neck, and then her ear.
“No. That’s not fair.” She leaped out of her spot and stumbled a few feet away from him on the vintage rug that covered three quarters of her room. “You can’t just do that and and think that will convince me to stay.”
He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. “For fuck’s sake, Suzy. When have we ever talked about this situation?”
She turned her head. “There’s nothing to talking about. I’m going. I can’t stop my life from moving forward just because you don’t want me to go.”
He got up from the mattress and made her look at him. They were either grimacing or shooting daggers at each other with their eyes.
“What is this?” He asked, gesturing back and fourth between himself and her. “An alliance, an affair?
She stood her ground and enunciated, “A relationship.”
He slowly moved his hands to his hips. “How do you expect us to have one if we’re not in the same city? Let alone, the same country.”
“I thought you’d be mature enough to work this out with me,” she huffed, ignoring his question. Her eyes narrowed. “Clearly, I was wrong.”
“Clearly,” he countered. He ran his thumb against his bottom lip and paced slowly around the room while Suzy stayed put.
She played with her hands and moved them as she spoke. “I really want to be on my own, Myungsoo. I want to do my own thing. But I don’t need you in that part of my life because it’s mine.”
He stopped in front of her full length mirror and spun around, not wanting to view his dreary face. “So you don’t need me.”
Suzy shut her eyes and breathed out. “I do, I do need you.” She stepped towards him, wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek against his chest. “It’s hard because I think I love you.”
He exhaled. “Well, I know I love you.”
And that made her look up at him. She covered her mouth, eyes shining. He forced a small smile, or he knew he would be next in the waterworks department.
“But I don’t want either of our reasons to stop me from going,” she said softly, hoping she wasn’t sounding too selfish. “You have your music here. Your friends need you. Let me have my adventure.”
“I need you, too,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.
She shook her head gently and grinned through her tears. “Someday.”
Myungsoo was worried for them and for her safety. Being cooped up at home with her parents for the rest of her life didn’t seem too peachy. He didn’t want to be the interference that stopped her from being herself and her zest for unfamiliar things in the world.
He wasn’t sure what the future had in store for them, but he was glad for the most part that he had her for three years - they had each other for three years. That was more then what many other couples failed to obtain in a lifetime.
So he dipped his head down to kiss her, letting her know that they were fine. It was slow and chaste, but they knew it would last. She held him tightly with his cheek resting on the top of her head. They swayed in that one spot for a while.
Later on that afternoon, they fell asleep on her bed. Suzy’s back curled against Myungsoo’s chest. His nose nuzzled the nape of her neck.
He dreamt of the ocean during the few hours he slept next to her. His feet were at the tide as he listened to the waves rolling forward in the distance.
But Suzy was with him. And that was the reassurance he needed.