Fic: Inertia - Part 17 [The Closer]
Title: Inertia - Part 17 [The Closer]
Rating: PG - 13
Ship: Brenda/Sharon
Disclaimer: Not mine; never were! No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: With Fritz gone, and her relationship with Sharon growing more serious, Brenda begins to wonder about just how close she's willing to get to the other woman. Sharon, it seems, has already made that choice for them.
Previous Chapters ( One) ( Two) ( Three) ( Four) ( Five) ( Six) ( Seven) ( Eight) ( 9[a]) ( 9[b]) ( Ten) ( Eleven) ( Twelve) ( Thirteen) ( Fourteen) ( Fifteen) (Sixteen)
~
The three women ride up the elevator silently, each lost in thought.
Laura can't help but stare at Brenda's hands, clasped in front of her. They're tinted pink. They stand out agains the rust colored skirt - she knows the skirt was really floral. She had made fun of it this morning, asking if she had borrowed it from Laura Ingalls Wilder. Brenda had simply stuck her tongue out and finished the last of the milk as retaliation. That is her mother's blood. She knows she's staring. She can't help it.
Brenda stands at the other end of the elevator, her mind is a blank. She's waiting for news. She's not thinking about anything, because if she does, all she's going to do is think about bad things like their fight this afternoon or the fact that the last words she ever said to Sharon was something about a broomstick.
Willie Rae is confused. She isn't particularly certain what the correct thing to do is in the situation where your middle age daughter's lesbian lover was shot. That's what they were called now, wasn't it? Lesbians? She doesn't know. She's been meaning to stop by the book store to see about getting a book on this sort of thing, but never quite got around to it. As confusing as this is, she does know a few things, one being she likes Sharon Raydor - she was surprisingly sweet under that hard exterior. She supposed she needed it to do her job - Willie Rae knew many woman like Sharon - women who were on the front lines. She respected her for what she did and was impressed that she was able to do so while raising a family on her own. She reached out her hands and took in Laura's on her left and Brenda Leigh's on her right and gave them a squeeze. They would get through this. She'd make sure.
| | |
"Mrs. Johnson?" Lt. Provenza asks, "What're you doin' here? Chief wasn't hurt too was she?"
"Oh, gentlemen -" She raises her head and sees Brenda Leigh's boys coming down the hall. They take up the whole width, even on their best behavior, they seem out of place, loud and banging into things. She's glad they're here. "Brenda Leigh's just fine - she's in there now."
"Oh good." Lt. Flynn tries to peek into the window, but she moves to stand in front of it. She doesn't know how much the boys know, and would like to give the family a few moments of peace. Family... what an odd thing to think of them ask. "We just wanted to stop by and see how the wit- Captain was doin'."
"She just got out of surgery, she's restin' right now - but she'll be up in a few days." Willie Rae said.
"Hell of a cop." Provenza grunted, "Haven't seen somethin' like that in ages. Just dove right into it."
"Well... I suppose that's a good thing but perhaps it's best not to say that in front of her daughter." Willie Rae smiles at him.
"She has a kid?" Gabriel asks, darting around Flynn.
"Yeah, mouthy little thing -"
"They let out out of the museum, did they?" Laura asked, opened the door and slipping out quietly.
"Yeah, you know, like that movie where they come to life." Provenza nodded at Laura.
"We ah - we brought your mom's purse." Tao said, pushing Provenza forward, from behind he holds up a black purse with a silver buckle. It was her mother's favorite - a gift from her grandparents, a Kelly bag from long before it was the trendy bag to carry. It IS her mother's favorite, Laura corrects herself, one she's still not allowed to borrow. She smiles, she can't help but smile at the image of the scruffy cop carrying the elegant purse.
"It looks good on you, sir." She says, her smile growing into a chuckle. It feels good to get out of the room for a little bit. She needs some space to process what's going on. The surgery went as well as could be expected, according to the doctor - but any number of things can go wrong in a hospital. She won't breathe a sigh of relief until she can take her mother home. She's too scared to say it, but she doesn't want to be an orphan. She knows she's not too young - she knows she's a grown up, capable of living life without her mommy, but it doesn't mean she wants to. That is what it's called, when your parents die - you can be an orphan at any age.
"Nah," Flynn says, watching his partner hand over the purse, "Provenza here's more of a red leather man, wouldn't you say?"
Willie Rae takes this as a chance to see how Brenda Leigh was holding up. She was quiet while they waited for the doctor, sitting in the waiting room, holding onto her hand as if she was six again. She was quiet when the doctor called them into the room, and quiet when Willie Rae excused herself, wanting to give the two women who knew Sharon some time together. Brenda Leigh doesn't hear her come into the room. It's dark in here, and cool. The windows are large and reflect the scene back to her against the dusky sky. It seems like some sort of movie scene, she thinks to herself. The woman in question is lying pale against white sheets, her dark hair spread out - in this light it's reddish. For all of Brenda Leigh's and Clay's work - she hasn't been exposed to hospital visits like this very often. She supposes she's lucky.
She hears Brenda Leigh murmur something - and before she responds, she realizes she's speaking to Sharon. She's holding onto Sharon's heavy hand and rises to smooth out her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "I know you hate when I do that in public," she sits herself back down in the chair set up by the bed, "But I also know you hate when it isn't just so. So..."
"Oh, Brenda Leigh." She sighs, reaching out and touching her own daughter's golden hair. Her heart breaks watching her so unlike herself.
"Mama!" Brenda Leigh jumps up, surprised. "I didn't know you were here."
"I just wanted to see how you two were doin'." She pulls up a chair and joins her daughter.
"Laura's handlin' it better than I am. You know sometimes I swear she's twenty somethin' goin' on forty somethin' She's just like her mama." She laughs, but her heart's not into it.
"And you?"
"I'm doin' just fine Mama."
"I'm sure." She could always tell when Brenda Leigh lied to her. The C.I.A. could train you to fool just about everyone but your own mama. She'd let her take her time. She'd be here for her daughter when she needed her.
| | |
"Excuse me, Miss. Visiting hours are over...close family only, so..." The nurse stood and gently made a couple of small sweeping motions towards the exit.
"Well, they are family." Laura explained deadpan to the nurse.
"Close family." Flynn confirmed.
"Oh really?" The nurse challenged. Not that he really cared, he'd be heading off for his weekend soon.
"Yeah, uncles. All of them." She lied. She watched as his eyebrow raised as a challenge when he took in the ragtag group of men in front of him. "I'm adopted."
"Whatever." He muttered, shrugging and back down the hall, he had better things to do than argue with a bunch of middle aged trigger-happy cops.
| | |
This wasn't how she thought she'd be spending her first night visiting Brenda Leigh. She had thought she'd be able to cook some dinner, take a shower, and if the nice people of Los Angeles could refrain from acting like damn fools, maybe even enjoy a conversation with her daughter. Instead, here she was - loitering outside of the Good Samaritan hospital at 9.36 pm, her arms crossed over her chest and her head swimming with questions.
Ever since Willie Rae had gotten the call from her daughter, all she could think of was what this meant. She had never called her before to tell them she was seeing someone. That alone meant this woman was special. Yes, everybody was special - but making sweet potato casserole beside the woman didn't reveal anything particularly spectacular or remarkable about this person. She was a co-worker of Brenda Leigh's. One who the rest of the staff mocked and openly teased with some name she couldn't quite remember, but who was rather nice. She had a biting sense of humor, Willie Rae remembered, and she was polite. She had mentioned her children and her parents - it wasn't much, but they were busy. She remembers the other woman pulling her aside as they were cleaning up afterwards to say 'thank you' for being included, Willie Rae thought it was sweet, the way she was almost embarrassed like, ducking behind her hair.
She wished now she had talked to her more.
"Mrs. Johnson?"
"Yes?" She turns her head to see Fritz, his hands deep in his pockets.
"Mrs. Johnson - what, what are you doing here? Is it Brenda? Is everything alright?"
"Fritz! Oh, Fritz, she's fine! She's just fine! What are you doin' here?" She asks. She wishes she had stopped by the book store now, certainly there'd be a book on the proper etiquette on dealing with your daughter's ex-husband while she was in the hospital visiting her lesbian ... friend. She started to laugh to herself - this is what she and Clay had warned their daughter about when she moved to Los Angeles. This messy way of living life.
"I was checking up on a friend, thought it was a heart attack, turned out to be angina. I told him he can't eat the crap he eats every night." He shrugs. He was always such a sweet man. She wished it would've worked - she knew, meeting him for the first time it wouldn't - but she still wished. "Occupational hazard, I guess. How 'bout you?"
"I just came into town - Brenda Leigh's inside visitin' with a friend. Shot. I suppose that's an occupational hazard too."
"The jewelry store hold up... yeah, I heard about it. Who was it, not one of the guys?"
"No, no." She doesn't know if he knows. About Brenda Leigh and Sharon. Maybe it's common knowledge? "It was Captain Raydor."
"How bad off is she?"
"I don't know." She shrugs. "She was shot to the chest -"
"Geeze."
"She's asleep, they're keepin' her under for the next few days."
"Wow. Brenda upstairs? I should go up. Shouldn't I?" He looks at her with a very confused look in his eyes. "I don't know what the right thing to do is. I mean, she's my ex, but she's always going to be..." He looked so lost, she realized, looking at him.
"I know," She pats his arm, sighing. "She has a way, doesn't she? Charms like a flower and stings like a bee. I don't think there is a right thing, Fritz honey. I do know Brenda Leigh's upstairs hurtin' and I'm sure she'd like to see a friend."
"Well then, shall we?" He turns to go back inside, offers her his arm. She laughs and takes it.
"Now then Fritz, a little bee told me you're seein' someone new-"
"Oh no, she didn't!"
"She did, she said she's a perfectly lovely girl!" Willie Rae assures him, patting his arm again as they made their way back into the glaring white building. "Tell me all about her." She could do this, she could be just as west coast as they were. Life was different here, but it was still people living it, the best way they knew how.
"Her name is Katie, and she's nice..."
| | |
"Brenda Leigh?"
"Yes Mama?" She raises her head and turns to see her mother smiling from the door. They whisper to keep from waking Laura who had fallen asleep, her head down at her mother's side.
"Someone's outside to see you."
"Oh Mama, I just sent those boys ho -"
"No, no. It's someone else. Go. I'll stay here with them."
Brenda was about to argue but shut her mouth. She was tired, too tired to argue. She rose and made her way out of the dark room, blinking in bright lights of the hall until she can make out the figure leaning against the wall. "Fritz - what are you doin' here?"
"Hey Brenda. I'm sorry to hear about Raydor."
"You know that Woman..." She jokes softly, "Can never stand to have me out-do her! What, Mama didn't call you did she? Ooh-" She could feel her blood begin to bubble. She wasn't expecting a parade but -
"No no, I was visiting Drake, you remember him -"
"The one who always dribbled-"
"Down his chin, yeah. He's fine now - indigestion -" Fritz rolled his eyes, "And on my way out I saw your mother. My first thing was to see if you were ok, I mean, your mother's not exactly known for hangin' out in front of hospitals lookin' to score or anything!" They both smiled at the thought.
"I'm fine. It's - Sharon."
"She said. I didn't think you could stand her. You were always coming home angry about something or another."
"Yeah, well..." She shrugged, leaning against the wall beside him. "What can I say, we've gotten close." Her voice chokes on the word close. Were they? She could barely fill out her hospital records, Laura had to fill in the blanks when she arrived. There were times when she couldn't figure out the woman and times where she couldn't figure out how to live with her and times when she -
"Bren, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure Fritz." She didn't want to be asked any questions. She just didn't have it in her.
"When you say 'close', do you mean 'close' or 'closeclose'?"
"I..." She turns to look at him. "I forgot how good you were at this."
"You could say I majored in 'Brenda Leigh' for the last...ooooh, how many years was it?" He chuckles, but is serious.
"Too long to have wasted on me."
"Not a waste, Brenda." He bumps her shoulder with his. "But you haven't answered my question."
"Does it matter?" She looks up at him. She's fairly certain he can read her implications through her lashes. This is they game they play - Fritz asking questions he knows the answers to while she dances around them. They have different strategies for interrogation - Fritz never likes not knowing the answer to any question he asks.
"No Bren, it doesn't." He looks away. She follows his eyes to window in the door, watching Sharon in the panel of glass. "I should go but ah-" He holds out his hands as an offering - presenting her with a couple of Twix bars, Snickers, and Reeses cups. "It was this or flowers, I figured this was more appropriate. Your mother accused me of enabling you, then chipped in for the Reeses."
"Fritz -" She could feel the tears well up. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't-
"Don't cry, I always hated when you did that. Just take the candy."
"Thank you, Fritz." It's all she can say. There's so much she wanted to tell him about how sorry she was, and how she really hoped he was happy because he was the best man she'd known after her daddy - but all that came out was the 'thank you'.
She reaches up and places a gentle hand on his cheek and kisses him. She loves this man for everything he is. She wishes she could've been better for him.
She takes the offered candy and watches as he walks away...and then stops to turn back around.
"Joel misses you."
"I miss Joel."
"I'm sorry."
"He's better off where he is."
"Maybe ... Katie's parents, their cat just had a litter. I was meaning to see if you wanted to pick one out. I didn't quite get around to it, so...you know. Think about it." He smiled at her once again - the smile that broke her heart and put it back together again - then left.
She turns around and slides back into the room, feeling surprisingly relieved at returning back into the dark room, with its cool stillness. She drops the candy on Sharon's bedside and moves a second chair beside her mother who eyes the pile. "I told him he wasn't doin' anyone any favors, but that boy seemed to think that's what you'd want."
"Thank you Mama." She takes her mother's hand and looks at her, really looks at her in the eye. She knows it can't be easy for her, to watch her daughter like this. "Thank You."
Rating: PG - 13
Ship: Brenda/Sharon
Disclaimer: Not mine; never were! No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: With Fritz gone, and her relationship with Sharon growing more serious, Brenda begins to wonder about just how close she's willing to get to the other woman. Sharon, it seems, has already made that choice for them.
Previous Chapters ( One) ( Two) ( Three) ( Four) ( Five) ( Six) ( Seven) ( Eight) ( 9[a]) ( 9[b]) ( Ten) ( Eleven) ( Twelve) ( Thirteen) ( Fourteen) ( Fifteen) (Sixteen)
~
The three women ride up the elevator silently, each lost in thought.
Laura can't help but stare at Brenda's hands, clasped in front of her. They're tinted pink. They stand out agains the rust colored skirt - she knows the skirt was really floral. She had made fun of it this morning, asking if she had borrowed it from Laura Ingalls Wilder. Brenda had simply stuck her tongue out and finished the last of the milk as retaliation. That is her mother's blood. She knows she's staring. She can't help it.
Brenda stands at the other end of the elevator, her mind is a blank. She's waiting for news. She's not thinking about anything, because if she does, all she's going to do is think about bad things like their fight this afternoon or the fact that the last words she ever said to Sharon was something about a broomstick.
Willie Rae is confused. She isn't particularly certain what the correct thing to do is in the situation where your middle age daughter's lesbian lover was shot. That's what they were called now, wasn't it? Lesbians? She doesn't know. She's been meaning to stop by the book store to see about getting a book on this sort of thing, but never quite got around to it. As confusing as this is, she does know a few things, one being she likes Sharon Raydor - she was surprisingly sweet under that hard exterior. She supposed she needed it to do her job - Willie Rae knew many woman like Sharon - women who were on the front lines. She respected her for what she did and was impressed that she was able to do so while raising a family on her own. She reached out her hands and took in Laura's on her left and Brenda Leigh's on her right and gave them a squeeze. They would get through this. She'd make sure.
| | |
"Mrs. Johnson?" Lt. Provenza asks, "What're you doin' here? Chief wasn't hurt too was she?"
"Oh, gentlemen -" She raises her head and sees Brenda Leigh's boys coming down the hall. They take up the whole width, even on their best behavior, they seem out of place, loud and banging into things. She's glad they're here. "Brenda Leigh's just fine - she's in there now."
"Oh good." Lt. Flynn tries to peek into the window, but she moves to stand in front of it. She doesn't know how much the boys know, and would like to give the family a few moments of peace. Family... what an odd thing to think of them ask. "We just wanted to stop by and see how the wit- Captain was doin'."
"She just got out of surgery, she's restin' right now - but she'll be up in a few days." Willie Rae said.
"Hell of a cop." Provenza grunted, "Haven't seen somethin' like that in ages. Just dove right into it."
"Well... I suppose that's a good thing but perhaps it's best not to say that in front of her daughter." Willie Rae smiles at him.
"She has a kid?" Gabriel asks, darting around Flynn.
"Yeah, mouthy little thing -"
"They let out out of the museum, did they?" Laura asked, opened the door and slipping out quietly.
"Yeah, you know, like that movie where they come to life." Provenza nodded at Laura.
"We ah - we brought your mom's purse." Tao said, pushing Provenza forward, from behind he holds up a black purse with a silver buckle. It was her mother's favorite - a gift from her grandparents, a Kelly bag from long before it was the trendy bag to carry. It IS her mother's favorite, Laura corrects herself, one she's still not allowed to borrow. She smiles, she can't help but smile at the image of the scruffy cop carrying the elegant purse.
"It looks good on you, sir." She says, her smile growing into a chuckle. It feels good to get out of the room for a little bit. She needs some space to process what's going on. The surgery went as well as could be expected, according to the doctor - but any number of things can go wrong in a hospital. She won't breathe a sigh of relief until she can take her mother home. She's too scared to say it, but she doesn't want to be an orphan. She knows she's not too young - she knows she's a grown up, capable of living life without her mommy, but it doesn't mean she wants to. That is what it's called, when your parents die - you can be an orphan at any age.
"Nah," Flynn says, watching his partner hand over the purse, "Provenza here's more of a red leather man, wouldn't you say?"
Willie Rae takes this as a chance to see how Brenda Leigh was holding up. She was quiet while they waited for the doctor, sitting in the waiting room, holding onto her hand as if she was six again. She was quiet when the doctor called them into the room, and quiet when Willie Rae excused herself, wanting to give the two women who knew Sharon some time together. Brenda Leigh doesn't hear her come into the room. It's dark in here, and cool. The windows are large and reflect the scene back to her against the dusky sky. It seems like some sort of movie scene, she thinks to herself. The woman in question is lying pale against white sheets, her dark hair spread out - in this light it's reddish. For all of Brenda Leigh's and Clay's work - she hasn't been exposed to hospital visits like this very often. She supposes she's lucky.
She hears Brenda Leigh murmur something - and before she responds, she realizes she's speaking to Sharon. She's holding onto Sharon's heavy hand and rises to smooth out her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "I know you hate when I do that in public," she sits herself back down in the chair set up by the bed, "But I also know you hate when it isn't just so. So..."
"Oh, Brenda Leigh." She sighs, reaching out and touching her own daughter's golden hair. Her heart breaks watching her so unlike herself.
"Mama!" Brenda Leigh jumps up, surprised. "I didn't know you were here."
"I just wanted to see how you two were doin'." She pulls up a chair and joins her daughter.
"Laura's handlin' it better than I am. You know sometimes I swear she's twenty somethin' goin' on forty somethin' She's just like her mama." She laughs, but her heart's not into it.
"And you?"
"I'm doin' just fine Mama."
"I'm sure." She could always tell when Brenda Leigh lied to her. The C.I.A. could train you to fool just about everyone but your own mama. She'd let her take her time. She'd be here for her daughter when she needed her.
| | |
"Excuse me, Miss. Visiting hours are over...close family only, so..." The nurse stood and gently made a couple of small sweeping motions towards the exit.
"Well, they are family." Laura explained deadpan to the nurse.
"Close family." Flynn confirmed.
"Oh really?" The nurse challenged. Not that he really cared, he'd be heading off for his weekend soon.
"Yeah, uncles. All of them." She lied. She watched as his eyebrow raised as a challenge when he took in the ragtag group of men in front of him. "I'm adopted."
"Whatever." He muttered, shrugging and back down the hall, he had better things to do than argue with a bunch of middle aged trigger-happy cops.
| | |
This wasn't how she thought she'd be spending her first night visiting Brenda Leigh. She had thought she'd be able to cook some dinner, take a shower, and if the nice people of Los Angeles could refrain from acting like damn fools, maybe even enjoy a conversation with her daughter. Instead, here she was - loitering outside of the Good Samaritan hospital at 9.36 pm, her arms crossed over her chest and her head swimming with questions.
Ever since Willie Rae had gotten the call from her daughter, all she could think of was what this meant. She had never called her before to tell them she was seeing someone. That alone meant this woman was special. Yes, everybody was special - but making sweet potato casserole beside the woman didn't reveal anything particularly spectacular or remarkable about this person. She was a co-worker of Brenda Leigh's. One who the rest of the staff mocked and openly teased with some name she couldn't quite remember, but who was rather nice. She had a biting sense of humor, Willie Rae remembered, and she was polite. She had mentioned her children and her parents - it wasn't much, but they were busy. She remembers the other woman pulling her aside as they were cleaning up afterwards to say 'thank you' for being included, Willie Rae thought it was sweet, the way she was almost embarrassed like, ducking behind her hair.
She wished now she had talked to her more.
"Mrs. Johnson?"
"Yes?" She turns her head to see Fritz, his hands deep in his pockets.
"Mrs. Johnson - what, what are you doing here? Is it Brenda? Is everything alright?"
"Fritz! Oh, Fritz, she's fine! She's just fine! What are you doin' here?" She asks. She wishes she had stopped by the book store now, certainly there'd be a book on the proper etiquette on dealing with your daughter's ex-husband while she was in the hospital visiting her lesbian ... friend. She started to laugh to herself - this is what she and Clay had warned their daughter about when she moved to Los Angeles. This messy way of living life.
"I was checking up on a friend, thought it was a heart attack, turned out to be angina. I told him he can't eat the crap he eats every night." He shrugs. He was always such a sweet man. She wished it would've worked - she knew, meeting him for the first time it wouldn't - but she still wished. "Occupational hazard, I guess. How 'bout you?"
"I just came into town - Brenda Leigh's inside visitin' with a friend. Shot. I suppose that's an occupational hazard too."
"The jewelry store hold up... yeah, I heard about it. Who was it, not one of the guys?"
"No, no." She doesn't know if he knows. About Brenda Leigh and Sharon. Maybe it's common knowledge? "It was Captain Raydor."
"How bad off is she?"
"I don't know." She shrugs. "She was shot to the chest -"
"Geeze."
"She's asleep, they're keepin' her under for the next few days."
"Wow. Brenda upstairs? I should go up. Shouldn't I?" He looks at her with a very confused look in his eyes. "I don't know what the right thing to do is. I mean, she's my ex, but she's always going to be..." He looked so lost, she realized, looking at him.
"I know," She pats his arm, sighing. "She has a way, doesn't she? Charms like a flower and stings like a bee. I don't think there is a right thing, Fritz honey. I do know Brenda Leigh's upstairs hurtin' and I'm sure she'd like to see a friend."
"Well then, shall we?" He turns to go back inside, offers her his arm. She laughs and takes it.
"Now then Fritz, a little bee told me you're seein' someone new-"
"Oh no, she didn't!"
"She did, she said she's a perfectly lovely girl!" Willie Rae assures him, patting his arm again as they made their way back into the glaring white building. "Tell me all about her." She could do this, she could be just as west coast as they were. Life was different here, but it was still people living it, the best way they knew how.
"Her name is Katie, and she's nice..."
| | |
"Brenda Leigh?"
"Yes Mama?" She raises her head and turns to see her mother smiling from the door. They whisper to keep from waking Laura who had fallen asleep, her head down at her mother's side.
"Someone's outside to see you."
"Oh Mama, I just sent those boys ho -"
"No, no. It's someone else. Go. I'll stay here with them."
Brenda was about to argue but shut her mouth. She was tired, too tired to argue. She rose and made her way out of the dark room, blinking in bright lights of the hall until she can make out the figure leaning against the wall. "Fritz - what are you doin' here?"
"Hey Brenda. I'm sorry to hear about Raydor."
"You know that Woman..." She jokes softly, "Can never stand to have me out-do her! What, Mama didn't call you did she? Ooh-" She could feel her blood begin to bubble. She wasn't expecting a parade but -
"No no, I was visiting Drake, you remember him -"
"The one who always dribbled-"
"Down his chin, yeah. He's fine now - indigestion -" Fritz rolled his eyes, "And on my way out I saw your mother. My first thing was to see if you were ok, I mean, your mother's not exactly known for hangin' out in front of hospitals lookin' to score or anything!" They both smiled at the thought.
"I'm fine. It's - Sharon."
"She said. I didn't think you could stand her. You were always coming home angry about something or another."
"Yeah, well..." She shrugged, leaning against the wall beside him. "What can I say, we've gotten close." Her voice chokes on the word close. Were they? She could barely fill out her hospital records, Laura had to fill in the blanks when she arrived. There were times when she couldn't figure out the woman and times where she couldn't figure out how to live with her and times when she -
"Bren, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure Fritz." She didn't want to be asked any questions. She just didn't have it in her.
"When you say 'close', do you mean 'close' or 'closeclose'?"
"I..." She turns to look at him. "I forgot how good you were at this."
"You could say I majored in 'Brenda Leigh' for the last...ooooh, how many years was it?" He chuckles, but is serious.
"Too long to have wasted on me."
"Not a waste, Brenda." He bumps her shoulder with his. "But you haven't answered my question."
"Does it matter?" She looks up at him. She's fairly certain he can read her implications through her lashes. This is they game they play - Fritz asking questions he knows the answers to while she dances around them. They have different strategies for interrogation - Fritz never likes not knowing the answer to any question he asks.
"No Bren, it doesn't." He looks away. She follows his eyes to window in the door, watching Sharon in the panel of glass. "I should go but ah-" He holds out his hands as an offering - presenting her with a couple of Twix bars, Snickers, and Reeses cups. "It was this or flowers, I figured this was more appropriate. Your mother accused me of enabling you, then chipped in for the Reeses."
"Fritz -" She could feel the tears well up. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't-
"Don't cry, I always hated when you did that. Just take the candy."
"Thank you, Fritz." It's all she can say. There's so much she wanted to tell him about how sorry she was, and how she really hoped he was happy because he was the best man she'd known after her daddy - but all that came out was the 'thank you'.
She reaches up and places a gentle hand on his cheek and kisses him. She loves this man for everything he is. She wishes she could've been better for him.
She takes the offered candy and watches as he walks away...and then stops to turn back around.
"Joel misses you."
"I miss Joel."
"I'm sorry."
"He's better off where he is."
"Maybe ... Katie's parents, their cat just had a litter. I was meaning to see if you wanted to pick one out. I didn't quite get around to it, so...you know. Think about it." He smiled at her once again - the smile that broke her heart and put it back together again - then left.
She turns around and slides back into the room, feeling surprisingly relieved at returning back into the dark room, with its cool stillness. She drops the candy on Sharon's bedside and moves a second chair beside her mother who eyes the pile. "I told him he wasn't doin' anyone any favors, but that boy seemed to think that's what you'd want."
"Thank you Mama." She takes her mother's hand and looks at her, really looks at her in the eye. She knows it can't be easy for her, to watch her daughter like this. "Thank You."