Fic: Inertia - Part 5 [The Closer]
Title: Inertia - Part 5 [The Closer]
Rating: R - For language
Ship: Brenda/Sharon
Disclaimer: Not mine; never were! No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: After an unexpected invitation, Brenda and Sharon go out to dinner where Brenda learns a little more about the other woman.
Previous Chapters ( One) ( Two) ( Three) ( Four)
~
"So," Brenda began, handing her menu back to the waiter, "I never thanked you for the cake."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Sharon Raydor responded, meeting the Chief's calm gaze with an equally calm one.
"You had a few flakes of dried frosting on your sleeve," Brenda explained, taking Sharon's wrist in her hand and flipping it over, "Right here." She said, indicating where it she had seen the telltale stain.
There it was again, Brenda noticed, the sharp intake of breath. If she didn't know any better, she'd think the other woman was - "If I can have my hand back, Chief?" Her companion asked, one eyebrow raised. Brenda released her grasp on the other woman's wrist and watched as the brunette took her hand back and slowly let out her breath. There would be moments, shorter than a second, that she thought she could see the cracks in the other woman's armor, but before she could be sure, everything would be back the way it was. It was like trying to catch something moving out of the corner of your eye, but never being fast enough. "Yes, Chief?"
"Yes what?"
"You look like you want to say something." The other woman set her eyes on Brenda as she took a sip of her Gin & Tonic.
"After all the -" She waved her hand in the air to try to capture their past, "You can call me Brenda."
"I suppose that means you want to call me Sharon?"
"Are you going to be downright adversarial all night, Captain? Because if so, I'm going to need more than a glass of wine." She took a sip of the Merlot. It was expensive, but delicious. She was glad Raydor had convinced her to get it, though she would never admit it.
"I don't know Brenda, I haven't planned that far in advance." The brunette cocked her head to the side and smiled.
"You don't like me." Brenda stated, placing her glass down on the table.
"I don't know you."
"Shar? I haven't seen you in AGES! How are you?!" Both women snapped their heads towards the intruder, a small, slender redhead at the side of their table.
"Don't exaggerate Mel, it's only been a few weeks. How are you?" Sharon sprang up from her chair and met her friend, "Would you excuse us for a second?" Sharon asked, tossing the question over her shoulder as she corralled the other woman away.
"Oh, honey, are you on a date? I'm so sor-" Brenda couldn't hear anything past the roar of wine coming back up her throat! She clamped her lips shut and swallowed firmly.
A date?
With Sharon Raydor?
What kind of prescription pills was that woman on, she wondered as she watched the two women talk. Sharon had brought them to the edge of where the dining area met the bar and they stood close to each other. Brenda watched her through new eyes, she watched her like she would watch a suspect, and from where she stood - it certainly did look like Sharon Raydor was both flirting and being flirted with. The redhead laughed and placed a hand high on Sharon's chest. Sharon then responded by brushing a stray bit of hair back from the other woman's face. It was curious, watching this never-berfore-seen side of Sharon Raydor come out. She shifted in her seat when she noticed both women turn to face her. She gave a quick wave and smoothed down her skirt. Suddenly, she wished she wore anything but this, she felt very ... southern all of a sudden as she compared herself to the two women she was watching. Mel, the very obviously dyed redhead with her hands all over Sharon was clad in simple black pants and a black tank - both looking very expensive, and very tight. Sharon looked beyond put together in her navy pants and cream silk shirt. Brenda hated how the other woman could do that - be so well dressed - especially on what she knew was a Captain's salary. They both fit in with the sharply dressed Friday crowd at the restaurant Sharon chose - she did not. Brenda couldn't help but wonder what else she didn't know about Sharon Raydor - everything she knew was from her personnel file, in fact, it was her mother that told her about 'her friend' Sharon's kids. Willie Rae simply thought the world of Sharon Raydor after Christmas which made Brenda wonder what was it that she was showing the world that she was hiding from the whole of the L.A.P.D.?
"Sorry about that," Sharon said, sliding back into her seat. "An old friend."
"Not at all. It was fun, seeing you like that. You know, with friends." Brenda teased, pulling herself together to focus.
"I have friends, you know. Just not at work." The brunette huffed, only mostly serious.
"I'm sure you do, 'Shar' -" The blond teased, reaching out a hand to the other woman's shoulder. She didn't know why she did that. Judging by the look on Sharon Raydor's face, neither did she. She jerked her hand back and placed it in her lap. "So, what did you two talk about?"
"Mutual friends - we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and-"
"Why did she ask if this was a date?" Brenda interrupted, watching the other woman's actions intently.
"Because-" Sharon began, not missing a beat. "Two people are sharing a meal together after work on a Friday night in a nice restaurant in L.A." There wasn't a misplaced movement, no twitch, no wayward glance. Brenda couldn't read her right now, which was pretty dangerous for a woman who'd spent her whole life reading people.
"We're two women."
"Women have been known to date other woman, Chief. Even down there in Georgia." Sharon crossed her arms and watched with delight as Brenda processed their exchange. She was taking enjoyment in this as payback for Brenda grabbing her wrist earlier. She was fairly certain the blond knew she had an affect on her.
"Including yourself?"
"On occasion. She was an ex. But don't worry Chief Johnson, I have my own ride." She watched as Brenda blushed at the mention of their earlier interaction.
The women each too a sip of their drinks, unsure of where to go from here. "I would, however, appreciate if this was kept between ourselves."
"Of course, Captain."
"I don't want to be fodder for the rumour mill." She rushed, eager to explain her hesitation. Not that she needed to, but it felt very ... different for Sharon to feel so exposed. She had never hid her sexuality - except at work, where she hid everything; every defining characteristic was swept under the rug, hidden and guarded from those around her not because she was ashamed, but because her job demanded it.
"Am I the first person, from work, who knows?" Brenda asked, leaning forward. She couldn't explain this sensation - it felt like she was at Jenny Lewis' sleepover in the fourth grade all over again - sharing secrets and staying up late. It made her feel lonely and excited at the same time.
"How many times have you been called a bitch, Chief?"
"Today, or..."
"Or a dyke, or a cun-"
"I get it." Brenda held her hand up. There was no need to repeat the litany of insults suspects hurled at them; she was familiar with most of them. "It happens. More times than I can count."
"Exactly." Sharon agreed, thanking the waiter as he set down their meal before them. "That's from the ''bad guys', the killers and the rapists and the thieves who at least have the decency and the balls to say it to your face. When men call me that, they're cops, the 'good guys'. And they don't have the integrity to come at me and say it. They're saying it behind my back, or under their breath, or scribbling it on a white board. I'm already a target for what I do and how I do it; I don't want to be a target for who I do too." She finished before turning her attention towards the sushi on the plate in front of her.
It was that last part that stuck with Brenda - 'who I do'. She had never thought of Sharon Raydor having sex - but the idea didn't repulse her in the same way thinking about Provenza or Buzz or dear Lord, even Will having sex did. In fact, for the first time in a very, very long time, Brenda could feel a flush spreading across her cheeks. She turned her head down to focus on the noodles before her.
"Do you want some?" Sharon asked, pointing to her plate with her chopsticks.
"No, no - I'm fine. I like my bait on a hook, not on a plate." Brenda joked, popping a noodle in her mouth.
"I, I hope this hasn't changed anything between us, Chief?" Sharon asked, the hesitation obvious in her voice. It was...sweet. Sharon was scared. Or as much fear as she could show.
"Not at all. Was it a hard break up?"
"It was...complicated."
"How long ago?" Brenda asked, taking a sip of wine.
"Are you trying to draw me out of my shell, Chief?" Sharon asked, setting down her chopsticks.
"Yes."
"What about you?"
"What about me?" Brenda countered.
"Anything about you." Sharon responded, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side. Brenda had forgotten that Sharon was a capable interrogator herself.
"My husband Fritz left two months ago." She responded.
"I'm sorry."
"Your turn." Brenda smiled.
"A year ago - sometimes two people just don't...fit."
"A year ago? No wonder you're always so wound up." Brenda smiled, bumping her shoulder against Sharon's. "Celibate for a year."
"I never said anything about celibate. The wonderful thing about being our age...s." She smiled, acknowledging the difference between them, "Is that you don't have to explain or justify anything to anyone anymore." Sharon picked her drink up and held lightly touched it up to Brenda's wine glass.
Brenda thought about that as she watched her companion return to her meal. She was an adult. She was free to make her own choices. She always had been, she supposed, but for the first time, she believed it. The question is, what would she do? What did she want to do?
"Are you ok?" Sharon asked, peering at her, a piece of sashimi hovering in front of her.
"Yes." Brenda answered, her voice trembling slightly. "Yes I am."
"Good." Sharon responded, "You've splattered sauce on you."
| | |
"You don't talk much about your children." Brenda said, setting down her fork on the empty dessert plate which lay between them.
"What's there to talk about?" Sharon eyed her. "I have children. Two, because I know you'll ask."
"So why don't you mention them?"
"Because there's nothing worse than those women who have bred and now incessantly insist on talking about their children, assuming everyone wants to see their photos or hear their stories."
"Do you have photos of them? Because I've heard some mothers eat their young at birth." Brenda tried to hide her smile. She knew the women Sharon was complaining about - they were the ones who would never make it far, who would gather at the coffee machine, who would stop chatting when she would walk into the bathroom. They would cast her looks, pitying or glaring when all she wanted was to be left alone, able to go to the bathroom in unobserved peace. The thought of Sharon Raydor ever being confused for those women made her smile.
"Just for that I won't show you." Sharon replied, shooting a patented icy glare in her direction. The look didn't land, it didn't scare Brenda.
For once she saw through the armor.
Rating: R - For language
Ship: Brenda/Sharon
Disclaimer: Not mine; never were! No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: After an unexpected invitation, Brenda and Sharon go out to dinner where Brenda learns a little more about the other woman.
Previous Chapters ( One) ( Two) ( Three) ( Four)
~
"So," Brenda began, handing her menu back to the waiter, "I never thanked you for the cake."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Sharon Raydor responded, meeting the Chief's calm gaze with an equally calm one.
"You had a few flakes of dried frosting on your sleeve," Brenda explained, taking Sharon's wrist in her hand and flipping it over, "Right here." She said, indicating where it she had seen the telltale stain.
There it was again, Brenda noticed, the sharp intake of breath. If she didn't know any better, she'd think the other woman was - "If I can have my hand back, Chief?" Her companion asked, one eyebrow raised. Brenda released her grasp on the other woman's wrist and watched as the brunette took her hand back and slowly let out her breath. There would be moments, shorter than a second, that she thought she could see the cracks in the other woman's armor, but before she could be sure, everything would be back the way it was. It was like trying to catch something moving out of the corner of your eye, but never being fast enough. "Yes, Chief?"
"Yes what?"
"You look like you want to say something." The other woman set her eyes on Brenda as she took a sip of her Gin & Tonic.
"After all the -" She waved her hand in the air to try to capture their past, "You can call me Brenda."
"I suppose that means you want to call me Sharon?"
"Are you going to be downright adversarial all night, Captain? Because if so, I'm going to need more than a glass of wine." She took a sip of the Merlot. It was expensive, but delicious. She was glad Raydor had convinced her to get it, though she would never admit it.
"I don't know Brenda, I haven't planned that far in advance." The brunette cocked her head to the side and smiled.
"You don't like me." Brenda stated, placing her glass down on the table.
"I don't know you."
"Shar? I haven't seen you in AGES! How are you?!" Both women snapped their heads towards the intruder, a small, slender redhead at the side of their table.
"Don't exaggerate Mel, it's only been a few weeks. How are you?" Sharon sprang up from her chair and met her friend, "Would you excuse us for a second?" Sharon asked, tossing the question over her shoulder as she corralled the other woman away.
"Oh, honey, are you on a date? I'm so sor-" Brenda couldn't hear anything past the roar of wine coming back up her throat! She clamped her lips shut and swallowed firmly.
A date?
With Sharon Raydor?
What kind of prescription pills was that woman on, she wondered as she watched the two women talk. Sharon had brought them to the edge of where the dining area met the bar and they stood close to each other. Brenda watched her through new eyes, she watched her like she would watch a suspect, and from where she stood - it certainly did look like Sharon Raydor was both flirting and being flirted with. The redhead laughed and placed a hand high on Sharon's chest. Sharon then responded by brushing a stray bit of hair back from the other woman's face. It was curious, watching this never-berfore-seen side of Sharon Raydor come out. She shifted in her seat when she noticed both women turn to face her. She gave a quick wave and smoothed down her skirt. Suddenly, she wished she wore anything but this, she felt very ... southern all of a sudden as she compared herself to the two women she was watching. Mel, the very obviously dyed redhead with her hands all over Sharon was clad in simple black pants and a black tank - both looking very expensive, and very tight. Sharon looked beyond put together in her navy pants and cream silk shirt. Brenda hated how the other woman could do that - be so well dressed - especially on what she knew was a Captain's salary. They both fit in with the sharply dressed Friday crowd at the restaurant Sharon chose - she did not. Brenda couldn't help but wonder what else she didn't know about Sharon Raydor - everything she knew was from her personnel file, in fact, it was her mother that told her about 'her friend' Sharon's kids. Willie Rae simply thought the world of Sharon Raydor after Christmas which made Brenda wonder what was it that she was showing the world that she was hiding from the whole of the L.A.P.D.?
"Sorry about that," Sharon said, sliding back into her seat. "An old friend."
"Not at all. It was fun, seeing you like that. You know, with friends." Brenda teased, pulling herself together to focus.
"I have friends, you know. Just not at work." The brunette huffed, only mostly serious.
"I'm sure you do, 'Shar' -" The blond teased, reaching out a hand to the other woman's shoulder. She didn't know why she did that. Judging by the look on Sharon Raydor's face, neither did she. She jerked her hand back and placed it in her lap. "So, what did you two talk about?"
"Mutual friends - we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and-"
"Why did she ask if this was a date?" Brenda interrupted, watching the other woman's actions intently.
"Because-" Sharon began, not missing a beat. "Two people are sharing a meal together after work on a Friday night in a nice restaurant in L.A." There wasn't a misplaced movement, no twitch, no wayward glance. Brenda couldn't read her right now, which was pretty dangerous for a woman who'd spent her whole life reading people.
"We're two women."
"Women have been known to date other woman, Chief. Even down there in Georgia." Sharon crossed her arms and watched with delight as Brenda processed their exchange. She was taking enjoyment in this as payback for Brenda grabbing her wrist earlier. She was fairly certain the blond knew she had an affect on her.
"Including yourself?"
"On occasion. She was an ex. But don't worry Chief Johnson, I have my own ride." She watched as Brenda blushed at the mention of their earlier interaction.
The women each too a sip of their drinks, unsure of where to go from here. "I would, however, appreciate if this was kept between ourselves."
"Of course, Captain."
"I don't want to be fodder for the rumour mill." She rushed, eager to explain her hesitation. Not that she needed to, but it felt very ... different for Sharon to feel so exposed. She had never hid her sexuality - except at work, where she hid everything; every defining characteristic was swept under the rug, hidden and guarded from those around her not because she was ashamed, but because her job demanded it.
"Am I the first person, from work, who knows?" Brenda asked, leaning forward. She couldn't explain this sensation - it felt like she was at Jenny Lewis' sleepover in the fourth grade all over again - sharing secrets and staying up late. It made her feel lonely and excited at the same time.
"How many times have you been called a bitch, Chief?"
"Today, or..."
"Or a dyke, or a cun-"
"I get it." Brenda held her hand up. There was no need to repeat the litany of insults suspects hurled at them; she was familiar with most of them. "It happens. More times than I can count."
"Exactly." Sharon agreed, thanking the waiter as he set down their meal before them. "That's from the ''bad guys', the killers and the rapists and the thieves who at least have the decency and the balls to say it to your face. When men call me that, they're cops, the 'good guys'. And they don't have the integrity to come at me and say it. They're saying it behind my back, or under their breath, or scribbling it on a white board. I'm already a target for what I do and how I do it; I don't want to be a target for who I do too." She finished before turning her attention towards the sushi on the plate in front of her.
It was that last part that stuck with Brenda - 'who I do'. She had never thought of Sharon Raydor having sex - but the idea didn't repulse her in the same way thinking about Provenza or Buzz or dear Lord, even Will having sex did. In fact, for the first time in a very, very long time, Brenda could feel a flush spreading across her cheeks. She turned her head down to focus on the noodles before her.
"Do you want some?" Sharon asked, pointing to her plate with her chopsticks.
"No, no - I'm fine. I like my bait on a hook, not on a plate." Brenda joked, popping a noodle in her mouth.
"I, I hope this hasn't changed anything between us, Chief?" Sharon asked, the hesitation obvious in her voice. It was...sweet. Sharon was scared. Or as much fear as she could show.
"Not at all. Was it a hard break up?"
"It was...complicated."
"How long ago?" Brenda asked, taking a sip of wine.
"Are you trying to draw me out of my shell, Chief?" Sharon asked, setting down her chopsticks.
"Yes."
"What about you?"
"What about me?" Brenda countered.
"Anything about you." Sharon responded, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side. Brenda had forgotten that Sharon was a capable interrogator herself.
"My husband Fritz left two months ago." She responded.
"I'm sorry."
"Your turn." Brenda smiled.
"A year ago - sometimes two people just don't...fit."
"A year ago? No wonder you're always so wound up." Brenda smiled, bumping her shoulder against Sharon's. "Celibate for a year."
"I never said anything about celibate. The wonderful thing about being our age...s." She smiled, acknowledging the difference between them, "Is that you don't have to explain or justify anything to anyone anymore." Sharon picked her drink up and held lightly touched it up to Brenda's wine glass.
Brenda thought about that as she watched her companion return to her meal. She was an adult. She was free to make her own choices. She always had been, she supposed, but for the first time, she believed it. The question is, what would she do? What did she want to do?
"Are you ok?" Sharon asked, peering at her, a piece of sashimi hovering in front of her.
"Yes." Brenda answered, her voice trembling slightly. "Yes I am."
"Good." Sharon responded, "You've splattered sauce on you."
| | |
"You don't talk much about your children." Brenda said, setting down her fork on the empty dessert plate which lay between them.
"What's there to talk about?" Sharon eyed her. "I have children. Two, because I know you'll ask."
"So why don't you mention them?"
"Because there's nothing worse than those women who have bred and now incessantly insist on talking about their children, assuming everyone wants to see their photos or hear their stories."
"Do you have photos of them? Because I've heard some mothers eat their young at birth." Brenda tried to hide her smile. She knew the women Sharon was complaining about - they were the ones who would never make it far, who would gather at the coffee machine, who would stop chatting when she would walk into the bathroom. They would cast her looks, pitying or glaring when all she wanted was to be left alone, able to go to the bathroom in unobserved peace. The thought of Sharon Raydor ever being confused for those women made her smile.
"Just for that I won't show you." Sharon replied, shooting a patented icy glare in her direction. The look didn't land, it didn't scare Brenda.
For once she saw through the armor.