TF: Revenge
Rating: PG-13
Series: G1
Pairings: Red Alert/Mirage
Summary: Sideswipe takes his pranks a step too far, and Red Alert loses it. Fortunately, help is at hand in the form of his lover.
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: As per usual, the good things in life are not mine to have, but belong to someone else... in this case Hasbro, Takara and IDW and anyone else I’ve forgotten…
Authors Notes: For the tf_rare_pairing June Challenge prompt - "You do realize this means war?"
Feedback makes friends. Flames dealt with by the masters of paranoia and fire, Red Alert and Inferno.
“You do realise, this means war?” Red Alert growled at the monitor showing the image from the rec room. Well, it had been showing the image from the rec room, right before Sideswipe’s face appeared, grinned right at the camera and the screen went blank.
It hadn’t been the first time it had happened. Cameras had been blanking out all over the Ark for the last fortnight, and it was driving Red Alert crazy. Appeals to Prime and Prowl had done nothing to curb it. He knew exactly who was causing all the problems, and he had evidence; cameras trained on cameras showed the perpetrators. But that didn’t matter. The perpetrators were reprimanded and told that they shouldn’t do it again. It didn’t help.
“He’s done it again!” Red Alert fumed over the commline.
“Again?”
“Yes, again! That’s it. I don’t care what Optimus says, this is not a boost to morale or anything of the sort. This is a flagrant abuse of the relaxed rules on Earth. And I’m sick of it!”
“Red, calm down.” Mirage’s cultured tones filtered over the line. “We’ll stop them from disregarding your security methods, I promise.”
“You do?”
“When have I ever failed you?”
“Never.” Red Alert’s voice filled with hope as they started to plan against the pranksters.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sideswipe rubbed his hands together eagerly. Rewiring the security cameras to film his latest prank had been easier than he expected. Sunstreaker’s warning about provoking Red Alert too much had fallen on deaf audios, and Sideswipe had carried on planning his next prank. Tormenting Red Alert by disrupting the camera feeds (and that one memorable time when he’d managed to get an old Cybertronian porno movie spliced into the data feed back to the security center) had been fun, and only resulted in a little brig time and a warning from both Prowl and Prime. But neither of them could do much. No one could.
Or so he thought.
Unsurprisingly, he didn’t see Mirage sneaking up behind him. The camera he was currently rewiring was taking most of his attention, and the other Autobots ignored him when he was pranking, lest they get caught up in it themselves.
So Sideswipe was completely unaware when the chair he was using to reach the camera was kicked out from beneath his feet and he landed on top of the paint he was planning on using in his prank. His immediate response was to comm. Red Alert to report an intruder.
“An intruder?” Red Alert’s voice was far too mild on hearing Sideswipe’s accusation. “I don’t think so, Sideswipe. None of my cameras show anything.”
“Well, someone just kicked the chair out from underneath me!”
“Mmmm…” Sideswipe could hear the camera behind him moving, checking on his location. “I’ve got nothing in your area I’m afraid, Sideswipe.” Somehow, Red Alert didn’t sound very sorry.
“Huh. Mirage then.” Sideswipe was grasping at straws.
“I hardly think so.” Mirage’s voice cut across the comm. and Red Alert laughed.
“Mirage has been in here with me all afternoon.” Red Alert lowered his voice. “I assure you, I’ve been keeping him quite busy.” That made Mirage laugh and Sideswipe cringe.
“I do not want to know what you’ve been up to!”
“Sideswipe… why were you standing on a chair in front of one of my cameras anyway?” Red Alert’s tone was mild again. Not annoyed like Sideswipe thought it should be.
“I…”
“And why are there so many cans of paint around?”
“Uh…”
“I’ve asked Sunstreaker and Hound to assist you in finding the intruder.” Red Alert continued.
“That’s not necessary…” Sideswipe winced as he heard footsteps. He managed to twist and watch as Sunstreaker and Hound came dashing round the corner, weapons out. He could do nothing but watch as they slipped on the paint liberally splattered on the floor. He was helpless to defend himself against the abuse Sunstreaker launched at him for ruining his paint job.
“Really, I think that blue looks quite good on Sunstreaker.” Mirage observed mildly, stepping into the security center and looking at the feed on the main viewer.
“Reminds him too much of Tracks…” Red Alert managed between laughs. “He always meticulously cleans himself whenever he and Tracks… get together.”
“Really… those two should just grow up and admit their feelings for one another.” Mirage shook his head, moving to stand behind Red Alert, resting his hands on the Lamborghini’s shoulders.
“Thank you.” Red Alert sobered enough to tip his head back and look his lover in the optics.
“It was my pleasure.” Mirage bent forward, kissing Red Alert on the lips before straightening. “I imagine it’ll be some time before he plans another prank like this.”
“Indeed.” They both looked back to the monitors and Prowl stepped out of his office (the one opposite the camera Sideswipe had been rigging) and sent all three mechs off to get cleaning supplies.
“Do you think we should tell Prowl that prank was going to catch him?”
“No… I don’t think so.” Red Alert’s fingers flew over the keyboard, copying the events he’d just watched to another, more secure, location so he could watch and enjoy it over again.