Dear Abby...

[whatsername99]

How To Make A Matzah Ball

Jew will need:
4 jumbo eggs
1 tsp salt
1 tsp parsley
Pinch of cayanne pepper
Not Pork
1 tbsp grated onion
2 tbsp vegetable oil
3/4 cup Matzah meal

Cooking Instructions
1. Be circumcised.
2. Beat egg whites until stiff and set aside. 
3. Cream egg yolks with next 6 ingredients. 
4. Combine both egg mixtures and fold in Matzah meal. 
5.

Comments

[jurisfiction16]

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you right now. I've decided, that's it! I must become a Jew. I have performed my own circumcision . . . with money. It hurt, but more because I was bloodying beautiful money than because I cut my cooter.
I think this may be the funniest thing I've ever read on livejournal. Congratulations, madam. You have just won.

. . . but not money, because that's mine.

[whatsername99]

I can't win bacon, either. How about some Jew Gold?

[funkyfruitz]

One word: ROFL

Hahahahaah, you are so awesome

[whatsername99]

<3

[whatsername99]

Thank Jew, thank Jew very much.

[jurisfiction16]

The only problem is, everyone knows about the Jew Gold, so we started carrying fake Jew Gold to trick those who knew about it, and put our real Jew Gold in our boots.
But then they found out about the fake Jew Gold, so now we got credit cards. So . . . unless the bountiful crease of your cleavage also takes my Hasidic Express, I can't give you any money that way, either.