Breastfeeding room anyone? Grrr...

[_orchard_]

Ladies, I need a piece of advice. When my FH & I discussed kids at the wedding we agreed that no kids under 6 were invited. He, however,  by that time will have 3 year old & 6 month old niece. I had no issue with these kids being there, they are immediate family after all, but he is adamant that he wants NO small children at the wedding. Since this

Comments

[animelily]

Is it a breastfeeding room, or more of a pumping room? Whether she leaves the child at home or not, if a mom is breastfeeding, she'll need to pump.

[shashafrash]

Exactly.
OP, I'm sure if you spoke to your venue that will provide a small office or private room for your SIL. I've done it at a formal reception and was given a nice comfy office with no problems.

[_orchard_]

Sorry, I understand that I would arrange that if I was expecting small babies there, but we've specifically told FMIL that babies & small chieldren are not invited. Besides we are staying at the venue, surely if she is the one who wants grandkids there she can accomodate them at their room. I love 2.5 year old & I'm sure baby will be great, but FH does not want any kids under 6 there, which we made clear to FMIL. So WHY would I be arranging the room? Sorry for the venting, just find it frustrating, especially her going behind my FH's back (I wasn't present at the dinner when he told them that they are not invited)

[shashafrash]

I can understand your frustation, and trust me I know how wedding planning can be. I also understand not wanting small children, I had a "no kid under 12" rule at my wedding. But I think you are being a bit unreasonable...even if the baby isn't there, if your FSIL is breastfeeding she will likely need a room to pump. That is not an unreasonable request.

[lizzie]

Yes, really. If his sister is breastfeeding, she will probably want a quiet place either to feed the baby or pump (if the baby won't be attending the wedding). Some women are comfortable doing this in a group setting, others aren't. Ask your venue - they probably have a place set aside for situations like this.

[_orchard_]

I'll ask, but if I mention this to my FH he'll just get crossed. His motto is "These people are important to us, but they are only invited and we are not going to sort their problems, problems that any responsible adult should be able to sort out"

[lizzie]

I hope you don't have any guests who need wheelchair assistance or anything. What a crappy attitude to have! They are important enough for you to make sure the basic amenities are provided in order to make them feel comfortable.

[_orchard_]

We do have guests who will be in wheelchairs & those amenities have been arranged for them. We are not having children at the wedding, so why should I have troubled myself with anything children related. My FMIL is not talking about the place for my FSIL to pump the milk (she hated the pump & said she won't use it again) she is talking about room where the baby will be fed, happy to be proven wrong, but I'm happy to put money on this, meaning that she has not accepted that there will be no babies & just going behind my FH's back since I wasn't present during original discussion.

[swankette]

I would ask FSIL directly what her needs are, then see if they can be easily accommodated. FMIL may be making an issue of something FSIL already has figured out.

[_orchard_]

I think you are on the money their. She is just being difficult since she has been told no. My FSIL most likely to have sorted everything.

[agroupie]

If the mother is breastfeeding, you really shouldn't ask her to leave her infant at home.

[_orchard_]

There are breast pumps & milk can be stored. She is only away for 5 hours, maximum of 2 feedings & no one is asking to stay for the whole time which is exactly what she was planning to do. So as long as my FSIL is comfortable with what she is doing, everyone else should be happy, and not getting bullied by my FMIL as to what we should be doing.

[_orchard_]

My FSIL pretty vocal & never had an issue discussing things directly, that's why I'm pretty certain it's my FMIL making an issue out of something that isn't one.

[champagnexdream]

You are about to get ripped a new one, I am just forewarning you, lol... :p

[operatic_diva]

Oh yeah. Haven't we had a similar post a week or so ago?

Personally, I feel FH's attitude is a little... Harsh, but if you have decided on no children/infants, and people are informed, well then arrangements have to be made.

[champagnexdream]

Yeah, it was my post, haha. Everyone decided to give me their opinions on whether children should be allowed at my wedding instead of how I should let my cousin know that she can't bring her baby. Hope this girl is prepared...

[_orchard_]

I was busy with work & missed last 2 weeks, should have caught up on the old ones first :)