Comments | weddingplans: Generous Offer from FILs-What Should I Do?

ao_kiddo in weddingplans

Generous Offer from FILs-What Should I Do?

Mar 19, 2010 15:05

Hello, fellow WPers! I am in need of some serious advice regarding my wedding and being a little more than 6 months away, I am feeling extremely conflicted.

( The Situation... )

fmil, finances, parents, advice

Comments 17

moonnfreak March 19 2010, 20:13:37 UTC

We researched doing it at a community center and found we weren't actually going to save enough money to make it worth it. So maybe try calling around for catering prices and all that if you are seriously considering it.

ne_jyam March 19 2010, 20:29:56 UTC

Yup we found the same thing. Sure we could hold it at the county park instead of a standard venue, but then we'd have to rent generators and bathrooms, buy day passes for each guest, etc etc. It all came out to costing almost exactly the same, give or take a couple hundred.

ao_kiddo March 19 2010, 20:45:07 UTC

This is what I am feeling-sometimes when you have to rent all the necessary supplies, it can almost be more!

I am trying to see if I can find some information on the cost of what we would need to do this.

Thank you both!

ne_jyam March 19 2010, 22:04:59 UTC

Plus all the stress of coordinating the extra elements!

One thing I just thought of that would be a concern - is there going to be ample parking for all these people?

Thread 5

lalanav March 19 2010, 20:25:42 UTC

Re: hotel blocks, would you no longer need them if you change venues? (As in, does your current venue make it a destination wedding, whereas your FIL's home wouldn't?) ?

1, without seeing the hotel block contracts themselves, I would think that cancelling the room blocks would have no effect on you whatsoever. You paid nothing, and presumably the rooms don't stay empty forever even if people don't book them. I can't imagine ANY language that would possibly charge you for opening up the rooms to the general public sooner than anticipated via cancellation.

That being said, if there IS that kind of language, why not just leave the room blocks alone? If you block 10 rooms and only 5 people book, you're not going to be penalized for it, so if NO ONE books those rooms, that's still not your fault and you won't be penalized for that, either. The only thing that happens in that case is that the rooms are released and you're no longer guaranteed the rate or the rooms if they book after the deadline.

ao_kiddo March 19 2010, 20:48:31 UTC

Thank you! FH said there shouldn't be any negative repercussions, but there is some strange language (like if there is some uncontrollable event or an "act of God") that was a bit confusing.

The hotel blocks are not close or even in the same town as my FILs house, so I am not sure it would do anyone any good to be that far away.

champagnexdream March 19 2010, 20:26:51 UTC

Dang $5k for a venue including dinner and 4 hours of open bar is amazing! But yes, still a lot of money.

I agree with the above comment...do some research and decide if the decrease in cost (if any) would be worth it. If someone else will do it all for you at a bigger venue and the costs are comparable, it may not be worth it in the end.

Either way, that is a really generous offer!

Good luck!

ao_kiddo March 19 2010, 20:49:51 UTC

Thanks! And $5k is an amazing price for what we are getting, but it's becoming a bit difficult for us.

I am going to do some research, thanks again!

annabelle_blue March 19 2010, 20:32:56 UTC

I think at this stage, you just have to do more research before you can make an educated decision. You can't compare one to the other when you don't have a solid grasp on the costs (financial and emotional)of your FIL's offer ( ... )

ao_kiddo March 19 2010, 20:58:45 UTC

Thank you! I am going to do some research!

lizzie March 20 2010, 02:53:03 UTC

I agree with the research. My wedding was on my family's farm (so, free ceremony/reception location), but we spent about $7k to make the place wedding-friendly (chair rentals, table rentals, catering, etc). It may end up being worth it, but it may not be. If you were to have the wedding at your in-law's, would you be responsible for the equipment rental and catering costs, or would they foot the bill for that? If they're willing to pay for chair rental and such, maybe see if you can get them to pay that portion of the $5k venue bill?

ao_kiddo March 20 2010, 18:16:34 UTC

I spent the majority of yesterday calculating how much it would be if we made their home wedding friendly-it comes out cheaper, but I won't know for sure until I actually contact these caterers for actual quotes.

I was assuming that we are paying for it, but they are "helping" by offering their home.

They are planning on helping us with the honeymoon, so I don't think they would be able to help out monetarily if we kept it at the venue.

Thank you!