Generous Offer from FILs-What Should I Do?
Hello, fellow WPers! I am in need of some serious advice regarding my wedding and being a little more than 6 months away, I am feeling extremely conflicted.
FH and I been engaged since March of 2008, so this planning has been a very long & sometimes bumpy road. We have scaled back several times to try and spend the least amount of money so that FH and I could manage everything ourselves. We aren't expecting anything from either of our parents, especially mine (who have been flaky about it, saying they would and then didn't when it came time to pay for things). So anything our parents would be able to give us would be the proverbial gravy.
We managed to find a venue, set a date, book a photographer, hotel blocks, etc. and now that we are 6 months away from our date of 9/25, there has been some other developments.
I will admit that FH and I are struggling with the $5k for the venue (includes dinner, 4 hour open bar, & bocce ball) and we haven't booked a florist (although his family friend will be doing them for us at a discounted price) nor a cake or purchased him a suit, etc. Being graduate students with menial jobs, his parents have become incredibly concerned about our wedding expenses.
FH had a long talk with them while I was out of town visiting my sister and while I was away, my FILs offered their house as a place to hold our nuptuials. They have a beautiful, large, townhome with shared backyards within the cul de sac. The idea is to host our wedding to offset the cost of the $5k.
When FH told me this, I began to cry. Not out of a bridezilla moment, but that I am incredibly touched that they would be so generous. They are amazing people that horrible things have happened to, and despite what they have gone through in their lives, their outward kindness never ceases to amaze me.
I hope things doesn't come off as complaining, because I am certainly not. I just don't know what to do-we have a lot of things in place, the STDs have been sent out (my only concern is the head count in this instance), hotels reserved, etc. According to our venue contract, if a cancellation is made within 5 days prior to the event, you are responsible for the cost based on estimated head count (which I take to mean that if you do it earlier than 5 days you are not responsible) and that my 25% deposit of $700 is non-refundable. As for the hotels, even though I didn't pay for reserving blocks, there still seems to be strong legal speak about what is an acceptable reason for terminating the contracts.
The thought of having at FIL's house is wonderful, but I am still concerned about the cost factor-what it will be for catering, alcohol, renting tables, chairs, silverware, etc., and the realities of having 60 people in FILs' house and the shared backyards at one given time.
We are planning to visit them tomorrow and I know this will come up. I would like to know if any of you have had an experience like this. Were you able to get out of contracts? Was the cost of having it at your home considerably less, even with all the rented equipment? I know some of you have had or attended this type of backyard celebration-what was the best and worst part about it? I am feeling torn, so any advice is much, much appreciated! ♥
FH and I been engaged since March of 2008, so this planning has been a very long & sometimes bumpy road. We have scaled back several times to try and spend the least amount of money so that FH and I could manage everything ourselves. We aren't expecting anything from either of our parents, especially mine (who have been flaky about it, saying they would and then didn't when it came time to pay for things). So anything our parents would be able to give us would be the proverbial gravy.
We managed to find a venue, set a date, book a photographer, hotel blocks, etc. and now that we are 6 months away from our date of 9/25, there has been some other developments.
I will admit that FH and I are struggling with the $5k for the venue (includes dinner, 4 hour open bar, & bocce ball) and we haven't booked a florist (although his family friend will be doing them for us at a discounted price) nor a cake or purchased him a suit, etc. Being graduate students with menial jobs, his parents have become incredibly concerned about our wedding expenses.
FH had a long talk with them while I was out of town visiting my sister and while I was away, my FILs offered their house as a place to hold our nuptuials. They have a beautiful, large, townhome with shared backyards within the cul de sac. The idea is to host our wedding to offset the cost of the $5k.
When FH told me this, I began to cry. Not out of a bridezilla moment, but that I am incredibly touched that they would be so generous. They are amazing people that horrible things have happened to, and despite what they have gone through in their lives, their outward kindness never ceases to amaze me.
I hope things doesn't come off as complaining, because I am certainly not. I just don't know what to do-we have a lot of things in place, the STDs have been sent out (my only concern is the head count in this instance), hotels reserved, etc. According to our venue contract, if a cancellation is made within 5 days prior to the event, you are responsible for the cost based on estimated head count (which I take to mean that if you do it earlier than 5 days you are not responsible) and that my 25% deposit of $700 is non-refundable. As for the hotels, even though I didn't pay for reserving blocks, there still seems to be strong legal speak about what is an acceptable reason for terminating the contracts.
The thought of having at FIL's house is wonderful, but I am still concerned about the cost factor-what it will be for catering, alcohol, renting tables, chairs, silverware, etc., and the realities of having 60 people in FILs' house and the shared backyards at one given time.
We are planning to visit them tomorrow and I know this will come up. I would like to know if any of you have had an experience like this. Were you able to get out of contracts? Was the cost of having it at your home considerably less, even with all the rented equipment? I know some of you have had or attended this type of backyard celebration-what was the best and worst part about it? I am feeling torn, so any advice is much, much appreciated! ♥