From the Italian for 'there follows'...

[wanton_bliss]

A. refuses to see Shrek the Third because of the role the second film played in his DUI. Leave it to an inveterate gambler to superstitiously draw correlation between attending a children's flick and his subsequent decision to go home, drink a bottle of Scotch while watching The Sopranos, then take the car for a spin at 1 a.m. in search of

Comments

[bix02138]

an appeal to howie mandel can never end well.

[wanton_bliss]

No deal.

[thesadpunk]

What possible pleasure can such a creature ever hope to obtain with another human being from that point on that doesn't involve the Howie Mandel-esque act of wrapping a man's skull in latex and ramming it up there?

Looks like I can nix one Christmas present this year.

SIGH...

[salacious_pop]

I can get you a Chad Hunt Supercock or our largest "ManRammer" for dirt cheap.

You know you want to.

[wanton_bliss]

Dave is the cheapest manrammer I will ever need...

[salacious_pop]

Yea, 2 drinks and he rolls onto his back like a helpless turtle. No wait, that's me.

I find it so ridiculous that we upscale our toys by 25-30% in both length and girth. Customers will ask me if product X would make a great toy for a first timer.. I tell them our products run a range of "ridiculously ambitious" to "How do you feel about a life wearing adult diapers?" and they usually have no idea what I'm talking about. The naive ones are so cute.

[chasing]

You know, after reading that, I've decided that really there's nothing more today has to offer me. I mean, how do you follow that? So perhaps I should just go straight home and to bed, to await tomorrow. Hmnnn.

[wanton_bliss]

I wish I could go home and go to bed.

I probably could.

I just wouldn't get any sleep due to the combination of extreme heat and the images of a man with a dildo the size of a fireplug plunging into his sloppy sphincter.

like whipping a baby carrot into the grand canyon.

[salacious_pop]

I too have viewed those X-Tube clips; Some petite and skinny waif of a white boy, with a cute butt, rocking back and forth on something not unlike a prosthetic arm (leg?) with the fingers sawed off.

The only time I've watched a scene w/ toys and got aroused was a solo scene that Kent North does in the Hot House film "At Your Service". It won the GayVN award for Best Solo Scene last year, so I guess I wasn't the only one felt that way. It was also the first time I ever thought "Uh, I wish I could do that."

How do those boys have conventional sex? I understand fisting bottoms are still pleasant fucks because they have control over those muscles that most guys don't, and have very formidable clench powers. Some of those toys go far beyond the girth of an average lumberjacks meaty paw, however.

"Gurl, your ass is wrecked; take that last step and just get a draw-string sewn in."

Re: like whipping a baby carrot into the grand canyon.

[wanton_bliss]

The only time I've watched a scene w/ toys and got aroused was a solo scene

For me, it's only arousing if someone else is forcibly shoving the toy into an only semi-willing recipient. But then, rape is how I roll...

fisting bottoms are still pleasant fucks because they have control over those muscles that most guys don't, and have very formidable clench powers

I will believe that when I feel it.

No seriously... come here.

something not unlike a prosthetic arm (leg?) with the fingers sawed off

Yeah, well, fisting toys seem small compared to the things I am referring to. It looked like this:

Re: like whipping a baby carrot into the grand canyon.

[salacious_pop]

Any data I have re: fisting bottoms is strictly anecdotal. I have never been fisted, thanks. :-P I'm down with the rough/rape scenario though. If you're not bruised, it didn't happen.

Toys like that make me think of Clockwork Orange, or fictional witty headlines in the local gay newspaper which read "Quick Thinking Gay Activist Fends Off Bashers With Alarming Sexual Aid"

Re: like whipping a baby carrot into the grand canyon.

[wanton_bliss]

If you're not bruised, it didn't happen

Mmm... potent quotable.

Toys like that make me think of Clockwork Orange

They way they photograph them always has the disturbing side-effect of making me thirsty.

[abstrusedude]

I have to tell you...
Every mention of Howie Mandel's freshly shorn cranium causes my anus to twitch in anticipation.

[wanton_bliss]

The same thing happens to me when I hear the phrase "deal or no deal?"

But that's just because I know what's in case #23.

[murraynz]

The thought of these enormous things anywhere near my anus causes it to twitch with fear.

[abstrusedude]

Howie Mandel is, for lack of a better description, the world's best form of contraception. In fact, his only saving grace is that he voice a child cartoon character, Bobby, from Bobby’s World which I “kind of” enjoyed when I was a kid.